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ODD help please!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 57266"><p>Welcome to the board!</p><p></p><p>My daughter is another that just digs in her heels and there is no getting around it. I've tried. Not to say she gets her way, but it always results in a meltdown and/or rage. There have been many, many times that I've actually been surprised when the neighbors didn't call the police because she is loud. With all the windows and doors shut I can hear her at the mailbox at the street. I swear she can be so headstrong in her own self defeat....sigh.</p><p></p><p>My friends just say that they don't know how I do it; that I have a lot more patience than they do. But, we aren't really given a choice. I remember one night when it first started getting bad (when difficult child was 4), I was on the phone with a girlfriend and difficult child was upstairs in her room about 45 minutes into full blown rage. Then difficult child started kicking the door. Hard. My girlfriend could hear this over the phone and couldn't believe how calm I seemed and was astonished that I didn't march right up there and put a stop to it. I had to explain that I couldn't go upstairs because if I did I was going to hurt her. The door could be replaced. My kid can't. I felt like such a horrible mother for saying that out loud. And trying to talk to difficult child or even making an appearance when she was in that state only resulted in escalating the situation without fail.</p><p></p><p>Of course that was before the professionals and a diagnosis (diagnosis) and I had NO idea what I was dealing with. By now I can identify triggers that set off the behavior and realize that the behavior is a symptom not the cause so I can either divert the behavior or at least understand where it's coming from. I almost never get that angry anymore. The lexapro I take helps, too. :wink: Tired, exasperated, frustrated, annoyed, worn down...yeah. But not so angry. </p><p></p><p>Probably the best advice I can offer is to make sure to take time for yourself. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad you found us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 57266"] Welcome to the board! My daughter is another that just digs in her heels and there is no getting around it. I've tried. Not to say she gets her way, but it always results in a meltdown and/or rage. There have been many, many times that I've actually been surprised when the neighbors didn't call the police because she is loud. With all the windows and doors shut I can hear her at the mailbox at the street. I swear she can be so headstrong in her own self defeat....sigh. My friends just say that they don't know how I do it; that I have a lot more patience than they do. But, we aren't really given a choice. I remember one night when it first started getting bad (when difficult child was 4), I was on the phone with a girlfriend and difficult child was upstairs in her room about 45 minutes into full blown rage. Then difficult child started kicking the door. Hard. My girlfriend could hear this over the phone and couldn't believe how calm I seemed and was astonished that I didn't march right up there and put a stop to it. I had to explain that I couldn't go upstairs because if I did I was going to hurt her. The door could be replaced. My kid can't. I felt like such a horrible mother for saying that out loud. And trying to talk to difficult child or even making an appearance when she was in that state only resulted in escalating the situation without fail. Of course that was before the professionals and a diagnosis (diagnosis) and I had NO idea what I was dealing with. By now I can identify triggers that set off the behavior and realize that the behavior is a symptom not the cause so I can either divert the behavior or at least understand where it's coming from. I almost never get that angry anymore. The lexapro I take helps, too. [img]:wink:[/img] Tired, exasperated, frustrated, annoyed, worn down...yeah. But not so angry. Probably the best advice I can offer is to make sure to take time for yourself. I'm glad you found us. [/QUOTE]
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