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General Parenting
ODD or just being a teen?
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 58682"><p>Good for you for being such a good person and compassionate friend.</p><p></p><p>Your friend sounds A LOT like my "second son" (he even introduces me as his second mom) and while there is probably a lot of overcompensating for self-esteem issues, there is also a lot of anger and that is what you need to protect yourself from. Anger is often used as a protective mechanism and can be the first emotion some jump to so they don't feel the hurt or rejection, etc. Even though I'm an adult and am close friends with his mother, there is only so much I can do. He spends a lot of time at my house - even when my son isn't home - I let him know that he can talk to me, and I try to talk to him, but as I am not his parent there isn't a whole lot I can do in terms of him seeking counseling, etc. I doubt his mother could even make him go. Well, she could make him go but she couldn't make him participate. It has to be something he wants to do. If you can make him see that this is something that needs to change, make it something he wants to do...well, that's most of the battle right there.</p><p></p><p>I agree with the poster who said to arm yourself with information. Unfortunately, a lot of our kids don't seem to learn from other's experiences...the "that's them, not me" line of reasoning. My second son seems to think the difference between him and those that get caught is that they were stupid and he's not. :rolleyes: It's only been sheer luck and that will eventually run out. Even watching his best friend go to juvie for a long stint has taught him nothing. It was someone else's fault, I'm sure.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 58682"] Good for you for being such a good person and compassionate friend. Your friend sounds A LOT like my "second son" (he even introduces me as his second mom) and while there is probably a lot of overcompensating for self-esteem issues, there is also a lot of anger and that is what you need to protect yourself from. Anger is often used as a protective mechanism and can be the first emotion some jump to so they don't feel the hurt or rejection, etc. Even though I'm an adult and am close friends with his mother, there is only so much I can do. He spends a lot of time at my house - even when my son isn't home - I let him know that he can talk to me, and I try to talk to him, but as I am not his parent there isn't a whole lot I can do in terms of him seeking counseling, etc. I doubt his mother could even make him go. Well, she could make him go but she couldn't make him participate. It has to be something he wants to do. If you can make him see that this is something that needs to change, make it something he wants to do...well, that's most of the battle right there. I agree with the poster who said to arm yourself with information. Unfortunately, a lot of our kids don't seem to learn from other's experiences...the "that's them, not me" line of reasoning. My second son seems to think the difference between him and those that get caught is that they were stupid and he's not. [img]:rolleyes:[/img] It's only been sheer luck and that will eventually run out. Even watching his best friend go to juvie for a long stint has taught him nothing. It was someone else's fault, I'm sure. [/QUOTE]
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