Thank you both for your information. To be a little more detailed - my 16 year old daughter has never actually been diagnosis with ODD, but after reading about the types of behavior it usually entails, I was questioning whether she might possibly have this. I am in the process of actually making an appointment. with a counselor to try and figure some things out, although she is refusing to go because in her eyes it is "stupid". I have gone to her physician about ad/hd and he did proscribe her a low dose of Concerta, but she has not taken it consistently. I do think she needs a stronger dose so I plan to discuss this further with a counselor. To describe her behavior I would say she is very defiant and does not like to be told "no". We have always had some "backtalk", even when she was little, but she has really become quite extreme for about the last year. She doesn't seem to know how to communicate very well, and shows anger and frustration quite easily, which makes it very hard in our house because I also have a 4 yr old daughter who sees this and learns. I know that drugs and alcohol are not an issue at this point, but am worried that this could be next, especially with some of the girls that she has chosen to hang with. She has so much potential that it makes everything so frustrating. She has the potential to get a college scholarship for basketball, and we are deeply concerned that if she continues on with her behavior she will throw it all away.
The reason I was wondering if it ran in families is because my nephew, whom was the same age as her and she was quite close with, just recently committed suicide. He had been in counseling with his mother for a few years, and about the last year, really struggled with "acting out" by setting part of the house on fire and even being abusive with his mother. He was diagnosis with bipolar disorder and also depression. He definitely had traits of ODD, his mother had to strip him of everything, ie: computer, cell phone etc., this made him more angry which caused him to go into rages. I guess this could have been due to the bipolar also. He had talked about suicide quite a bit if things didn't go his way - such as with his girlfriends and things, but his counselors and mother, to an extent, had felt that him talking that way was his way of trying to be manipulative and get his way.
My daughter has a lot of the same behavior traits as her cousin, such as not liking to be told "no", but she does not talk about suicide and says that she would never think of doing such a thing (which I am thankful that she does realize that it is permanent, and she does enjoy life to much for this). I do feel though that if she were a boy she might possibly be more violent, and the only thing that stops her from being that way now is that all her actions are through her mouthiness and her defiant behavior. It is so hard when you constantly hear "I hate you", "I hope you die", and "I want you out of my life".
I am just trying to get a little advise before it could get worse.
Thanks