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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 659655" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Did he have a crazy, chaotic first years of life? I am guessing ages 0-3 were full of change, different caregivers, and possibly he was neglected due to parental fighting or maybe father left t he house, a bad idea if the child is not brought with, away from abusive or neglectful parent. Who has custody most of the time? If it isn't Dad, why not? If he is the stable parent, in my opinion he should fight for the majority custo</p><p>Your stepson could have a trauma disorder called attachment disorder and some of these kids develop a fear of nobody. Some also have a poorly developed conscience.</p><p></p><p>I would be loathe to blame only his biological mother. Blame doesn't really matter because it is what it is. But your husband did not try to get custody of his son and give him a stable life either. He has two parents and neither stepped up. At this point, blame is irrelevant, but it probably would be healthier for the more stable parents to have him most of the time.</p><p></p><p>I think it is a bad idea to take him off medicine if it helped at all, but that's me. Also, who is the fiance? If you are not married, he is not a stepson. There is no legal rights tot a boyfriend or girlfriend and actually a stepparent has few legal rights too.</p><p></p><p>This boy is very much not all right and hopefully he can get help that works before he reaches eighteen. Harsh discipline schools/boot camps are unlikely to work and he may even get tossed out of them. If he is dangerous at home, I would recommend a mental health based residential treatment center instead. It is the best you can do in my opinion. And don't nix the medications!!!</p><p></p><p>At any rate, good luck, whatever you decide.</p><p></p><p>You answered a very old thread and may want to start a fresh one to get more responses!!!</p><p></p><p>Take care of yourselves. You will need all the strength you can get.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 659655, member: 1550"] Did he have a crazy, chaotic first years of life? I am guessing ages 0-3 were full of change, different caregivers, and possibly he was neglected due to parental fighting or maybe father left t he house, a bad idea if the child is not brought with, away from abusive or neglectful parent. Who has custody most of the time? If it isn't Dad, why not? If he is the stable parent, in my opinion he should fight for the majority custo Your stepson could have a trauma disorder called attachment disorder and some of these kids develop a fear of nobody. Some also have a poorly developed conscience. I would be loathe to blame only his biological mother. Blame doesn't really matter because it is what it is. But your husband did not try to get custody of his son and give him a stable life either. He has two parents and neither stepped up. At this point, blame is irrelevant, but it probably would be healthier for the more stable parents to have him most of the time. I think it is a bad idea to take him off medicine if it helped at all, but that's me. Also, who is the fiance? If you are not married, he is not a stepson. There is no legal rights tot a boyfriend or girlfriend and actually a stepparent has few legal rights too. This boy is very much not all right and hopefully he can get help that works before he reaches eighteen. Harsh discipline schools/boot camps are unlikely to work and he may even get tossed out of them. If he is dangerous at home, I would recommend a mental health based residential treatment center instead. It is the best you can do in my opinion. And don't nix the medications!!! At any rate, good luck, whatever you decide. You answered a very old thread and may want to start a fresh one to get more responses!!! Take care of yourselves. You will need all the strength you can get. [/QUOTE]
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