Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gingersmomma, Dec 5, 2007.

  1. gingersmomma

    gingersmomma New Member

    My son is 3. From the day he turned 2 he was a handful. More than a handful. A holy terror. I have 3 kids. I told myself that it was just the terrible two, which have turned into trecherous threes.
    He is mean, violent occasionally. Every tiny chance to pick a fight and he will. Everyone assures me that he does not hate me, but I am not so sure.

    I dread getting up in the morning because I just don't want to be around him. What kind of mother is that?

    My husband is in the Navy and travels alot. It gets worse when he is gone. All my son's rage seems to be directed at me.

    In those moments when he is calm, he is delightful. He is adorable, loving, sweet and cuddly. But then I know soon the tantrums will reappear.

    I have decided to have him evaluated for ODD. I have been resistant because I feel like our society over diagnoses. I don't want him to be "labeled". I don't want him to be unduly medicated.

    I am suffering. Sometimes I think that I need to be medicated. I long to drop my kids off at school so I can be alone. I thought I would love motherhood. I'm not so sure now.
  2. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Oh my goodness, you are stressed to the max. I'm so sorry. If it's any consolation, my now 12 year old gift from God (difficult child) son was exactly the same. At age two I was crying every day. It's not a bit unusual for a child to hold it together for everyone else but mom. They feel safe with mom. (Yippeee, right?) It will be best for you to get a complete evaluation so that you know more of what you're dealing with and go from there. In the meantime, read on this site "The Chandler Papers" and see if you notice similarities. Get as much rest as you can....it could be a long road.
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Hi, Ginger's momma, welcome to the board.

    You are not alone!!

    It does not make you a bad mom. Many of our kids simply cannot control their behavior. It is not their fault. It is not OUR fault. They are wired differently. We roll with the punches. Parenting a difficult child is NOT for the faint of heart.

    If YOU need help, PLEASE get some. You cannot take care of your kids if you are not functioning at 100%.

    Take your son in for an evaluation. Neuropsychologists do very thorough jobs. In the meantime, get a hold of the book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It has been a Godsend for many moms here. It has strategies and suggestions for disciplining a challenging child.

    Again, welcome. You found a soft place to land.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I ditto the others.

    Welcome to the board. :flower:

  5. saman

    saman New Member

    You're telling a story that I lived just 2 short years ago...keep fighting...my son is ADHD/ODD (diagnosis in process, but the baseline testing was done at 3.5). There were many times I just wondered "why me"...but I know we have these kids for a reason.

    Hang in there...Behind those crazed eyes and scary children are loving kids that are just wanting to be helped. I can see a HUGE difference in my son now (with natural treatment so far)...and we certainly have our days, but the really scary violence is mostly gone. No one believed me (family friends) about how awful things really were...I mean, how violent can a 2-3 year old be..but those people have never walked a mile in our shoes...and I hope they never have to.

    Keep fighting, momma...and take care of yourself. ((HUGS))
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi Gingersmomma,
    welcome. I know exactly how you feel. EXACTLY.
    I would definitely have your son tested. It doesn't mean you have to put him on medications. It will just give you tools to work with.
    Read Ross Greene's The Explosive Child. It's a very diff way of looking at things and will help a lot.