Oh boy...something new, again

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by wakeupcall, Oct 18, 2007.

  1. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    There's always something, isn't there? **Sigh**

    difficult child went to baseball practice last evening, we picked him up an hour and a half later. After we got home, I saw he had shredded the leg of his baseball pants (!) and he had shredded the sleeve of his shirt (short sleeves). Now what? He can't answer why he did it, but he sure wasn't dressed like that when we dropped him off. He was still fully medicated and he was NOT hungry! :smile:

    When he was a toddler, he chewed the sleeves on his shirts, so I bought all short sleeves. When he was a toddler, he chewed up the collars of his shirts, so we bought new ones often. Why would he be starting this behavior again? I thought we had made a little progress.

    Another thing.....now he has to have TWO plates to eat dinner. He not only doesn't want his food to touch each other, but he doesn't even want some stuff on the same plate. My difficult child will be TWELVE next week...why is this stuff creeping up now?

    I work parttime....VERY parttime, sporatic. Could this be rebellion even though he's at school while I'm gone? There is a tiny bit of disruption in the mornings when I work because I have to get ready to get out of here the same as he does. I'm usually home before he gets here. (I have the boss trained to let me leave to get home before the bus arrives.) I dunno, I'm SO worn out with trying to figure this guy out. Even when I try to have a life apart from my boy, just a little, it doesn't seem to work very well. :crying:
  2. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    I'm sorry to say I'm at a loss. Not to much help! It sounds Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), or anxiety. Maybe starting to serve his food on smaller salad plates? not sure what that will accomplish but to give him a little less room. Only if he doesn't notice the change. Other than that maybe its time for a check up. Anytime "new" symptoms appear its always a good idea to see the Dr. I know sometimes thats eaiser said than done. Sorry I don't have more for you.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    It sounds like anxiety fueled by sensory issues. He may honestly not know why he shredded his clothing but rather felt a need, driven by anxiety, to do it. Focalin XR, like any stimulant, can exacerbate anxiety. You should report the behavior to the psychiatrist and therapist.
  4. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    I'm sorry to hear that old behaviors are reappearing. I agree with the others that you should notify the therapist and psychiatrist. I wish I could think of something else to add, but, I'm at a loss.

    I hope today is a better day!!! WFEN
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Smallworld is spot on. This is NOT to get at you, he sounds anxious and this is making it harder to cope. Part of coping is keeping these more unacceptable behaviours under control. Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) issues get worse the more anxious they get. he is stressed for some reason.

    We tend to give way on food issues to a certain extent, especially when they're not coping well. Chewing clothes - I bought GFG34 a teething ring and at home when he's in chewing mode, we would give him his teething ring on a string around his neck. He would chew on that instead of his clothes, and it slowly got him out of the habit again. I also kept him in chewed clothes while at home. Otherwise I'd have gone broke constantly replacing chewed clothing. I also shopped at op-shops, top reduce expense. He also preferred the feel of older, well-worn clothes, the fabric is softer.

  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Sounds Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) to me. My grown son has a rather bad case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). It actually was there a bit as a child, but kicked up with a rage at nineteen, so bad that he had to quit college. It went into remission than recently kicked up again.
    Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be a part of Tourettes or Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). It is also common in mood disorders. My son has that too.
    The shredding is a puzzle to me.
  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm with smallworld. My difficult child not only needs separate plates, but she must also have a separate utensil for everything she eats.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I have a friend whose son did that. He was about 5 and he shredded all the sheets in his bedroom into tiny pieces, and hung them everywhere and made sort of a tent thing. The parents walked in and they were horrified. But they handled it well--told him he wasn't supposed to tear apart perfectly good sheets, but that he had been very creative with-his ideas.
    Then they shut the door and made themselves a drink (or several--that's when it hit them that there was something really wrong with-him), and they made a gazillion appts for testing.
    He has Asperger's, ADHD, and I can't recall what else. I will ask.
    One test involved putting him in a chair suspended from the ceiling, and they spun him around until he said stop. He asked for more.
    I'm sure others here will recall what the name of that test is--it has to do with-the inner ear, and stimulation.
    He was adopted so she doesn't know the bparent's histories.

    Good luck!
  9. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    The 2 plates sounds like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) to me. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) comes from a need to control anxiety. Even the shredding of his clothes could be Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Some kids pick at their skin from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

    I would call the psychiatrist. ADHD medications can make anxiety and I would think Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) worse.

    How long has he been on the Focalin? How was he diagnosis'ed with ADHD? I'm asking because my daughter looked like she had ADHD to the therapist, psychiatrist, and me but when she was evaluated by a neuropsychologist, he said it was probably anxiety. This was before her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) diagnosis so looking back, I think he got it right. Could this be the case with your son?

    I don't think it has anything to do with you trying to work and have a life apart from him.
  10. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    My son chewed t-shirt necks to shreds. In my mind it's the same as biting and chewing fingernails. We redirected him and cued him when he was with us and did it.

    My son also loved to drape rope, hoses or any other connective thing in his room. I figured he was making a nest. It stopped when he got into his teens.

    Our kids are more alike than different aren't they?

    Call the dr. sometimes medications need adjusted. High doses of ritalin had my son pulling hair from his head until he had a bald spot. It resolved when the ritalin was decreased.
  11. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    fairlyoddparent, my difficult child also picks his skin. He always has. Now that he has a zit now and then, it's particularly bad. He has a tendency to Impetigo, so anytime he picks, it turns into Impetigo and takes forever to heal. He used to pluck his eyebrow all day long and now the hairs in it grow funny.

    difficult child has a medication check on Monday. 'Guess I'll discuss it with her and see what she says. He's been on his Focalin for a couple of years (if that means anything...).
  12. neednewtechnique

    neednewtechnique New Member

    Okay, as a person who went through the horrible, "my food cannot touch" problem and NEVER grew out of it, I can totally identify with your difficult child on this one. What I CANNOT do is tell you WHY it is such a big deal. I honestly can't. Even as a grown adult who is pretty logical in thinking, I honestly have NO EXPLANATION for this! The reasoning for the separate plates could be very easily explained though. Since he doesn't like his food to touch, if you give him something "juicy" or runny, then things could run together while he is eating, even if he tried to keep them separate when putting them on his plate. I have managed to get to a place where I can eat dry things on the same plate as long as they don't touch. For example, I would put a sandwich and chips on the same plate as long as they stay separated, but mashed potatoes & gravy would have to go on their own plate.
  13. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    All I can offer is that we went to a higher dose of stimulant for my child his paper ripping, chewing behavior increased substantially. we lowered the dose and it went away--though now he is doodles a lot on his papers in school. He has pretty high anxiety. A small amount of stimulant for him does wonders, but we can't go very high at all.
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    He is NOT rebelling or doing this to get at you. He is trying to cope with a world that makes him anxious. It problem has littled to do with your work.

    The shredded clothes may be a different coping tool for something that makes him anxious at the Ball field. It is a different thing than chewing, but problem for the same reason.

    The separate plates is not something to fight. Fighting will just make a battle over food and dinnertime. He is not hitting you or being defiant, this is something I would just let him do. Can you just say, OK but put your plates (rinsed) in the dishwasher when you are done. This way it is not a big issue, and meals will be more pleasant and relaxed.

    As far as the picking and impetigo, I had/have one that picks. He also does not want "strange unguents" on his body. That would be lip balm, lotion, neosporin, etc... You can't really make him not pick. Can you either put neosporin on them (we oculdn't, he fought like a crazed tazmanian devile when I tried!) or keep peroxide in a spray bottle and spray the spots (or have him spray them) several times a day?

    Something is stressing your son. Internal or external, until he can cope you will see this stuff. And you are not alone.

    Sending higs,