Oh Cr@p! Outta the frying pan...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by nvts, May 8, 2008.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    into the fire!

    Actually, the h-e-double hockey sticks that we had difficult child 1 in can't be outdone as far as incompetance went, but now with the whole new environment, we have to "re-train" everyone on him and the garbage he pulls.

    difficult child 1 had a meltdown the 1st day in his new school. Restrained, but not injured. He decided that physical reactions to problems was not the way to go.

    Day 2: 50 out of 50 points! Perfect day!

    Day 3: 45 out of 50 points, but requested to go to the timeout room rather than having a meltdown.

    Day 4: today: Guidance counselor calls. "We may be calling 911 and you may have to meet him at psychiatric emergency because he threatened suicide." Oh man! Not again. Explain to them that he does this when he feels trapped and he knows a physical confrontation will be a losing battle. Explain that it will cause more damage anxiety wise if they do it. Explain that he will have consequenses at home. Explain, explain, explain.

    Have to get a letter from his Psychiatrist that he's not a danger to himself. They need it for school on Monday (I told them he's seeing a new therapist on Saturday as his psychiatric services were severed when we left the school). I'm re-registering him with the psychiatrist on Tues. so that he can continue in her care at a different location.

    New therapist is not allowed to write the note. Old therapist says psychiatrist has to write it, psychiatrist hasn't called back yet.

    I'm running away and not leaving a forwarding address! AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!

    Thanks for letting me vent!

  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Oh, Beth. That just inhales forcefully!
    They sound like a competent bunch, though, so hopefully they will learn difficult child 1's full repertoire in short order, and be prepared to deal with him.

    Honestly...sometimes I think difficult children should come with an instructional video.

  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Hey, he had 2 good days! That's a start!! (Okay, trying to find the bright side.)

    So, if you can't get the note from psychiatrist by Monday, what happens? Isn't there something in the old school's records about this type of behavior? In the parent report?

    My daughter loved to threaten suicide, murder or mayhem to divert attention from her behavior. I used to write a letter at the beginning of school to the teacher explaining exactly what she would do and what the triggers were. In 4th grade, she threatened to jump out of the window -- the teacher went over and opened the window so she wouldn't break the glass. Took the wind right out of my child's sails (of course, it probably helped that the odds of doing any serious harm were somewhere between slim and none -- it was a one-story school).

    It really does sound like this school has a good handle on how to handle your son. Hope you guys continue to have a good relationship.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh how frustrating. I'm hoping you get that note in time.
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! When the Guidance Counselor called back (she had to get permission from the Principal to violate protocol - psychiatric hospital., etc.) I asked if she would be willing to sit down with me and then we'd bring in difficult child 1 so we could really hammer the point home that he's making serious threats.

    She actually sounded relieved! I swear, that kid put 10 years on that poor woman's life right then and there!

    Why do they have these schools soooooo far away! I've got to be there by 9:00 tomorrow morning and it's all the way across the island. We're at $4.00 a gallon! But I digress!

    I have a feeling I'll be running back and forth a lot over the next few weeks!

    Give me strength (or an antibiotic - I swear I have bronchitis and everytime I make a Dr.s appointment. a school calls with a crisis!)!

    Thanks for the reassurance!

  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Well.....heh heh.....as long as yer in the fryin' pan, how 'bout stirrin me up a mess of them thar crickets?

    I swear ONLY THIS GROUP could write -

    Today the school called, my son threatened suicide - I told them NOT to do anything about it. I'll talk to him later.

    And WE ALL get it.

    HUGS - (run crickets RUN!)
  7. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Star is SO correct! Only this group. We all so understand!

    Many, many hugs.
  8. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Everything is such a hassle when dealing with psychiatrists. I hope you get the note on time. Meeting with the counselor is a good idea and should help them to understand difficult child.

    Good Luck
  9. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Well, I'm off to meet the counselor and difficult child 1. It's raining and I have to park in East Oshkosh in a not so great section of the island.

    difficult child 1 came in and was quite petulant about the situation. I think I scared the bejesus out of him when I explained that he has formally removed and decision-making on this subject from not only us, but the school as well. Once he realized that by law they have to follow proceedures if he makes a threat, his eyes looked like teacups!

    I took away t.v., computer time, and his gameboy is only for bus-use (I DON'T need him blowing up on the bus - 3 day bus suspension run rampant around here!), he had to do his homework, eat dinner and then spend the rest of the night in his room.

    Old therapist and psychiatrist are writing the note, the new therapists will work with him on alternatives for his situations as they arise, and I've filled out the application for him to see the old counselor that he went to before he went into daytreatment.

    I'll let you know how it goes with the counselor. I really feel that I have a "partner in crime" with this woman. When I told her that difficult child 1 was looking to push buttons and wait until he starts throwing around allegations that we beat him, she got mad and said that out of respect for me she was going to ask the principal to let this one go without contacting 911, but she wished that she could call to let him SEE what he's getting himself into! lol - you could hear how mad she was at the whole situation!

    Hope you're all having a great Friday!
  10. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    When difficult child 2 is in a total "melt-down", he puts his hands around his neck, makes fake choking noises, and says he is going to kill himself. He does this to try to distract us from talking about the issues he doesn't want to discuss - The consequences for inappropriate behavior. His doctors are aware of his "going to kill myself" routine. We've learned to just ignore him. In fact, we NEVER try to talk to him when he is in a fit of rage as long as his safety isn't at stake. Interestingly enough, now that he NEVER gets a rise out of anyone when he threatens to choke himself, he does it much less often than he used to.

    I'm so sorry you have to go through this!!! However, it sounds like you have a really good counselor. This is a huge positive!!!

    Please make the appointment to see your doctor. I hope you feel better soon!!! WFEN