Oh Dear! mother in law and Mother's Day Drama. 2013 Version

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SuZir, Apr 26, 2013.

  1. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Last year I asked you tips for perfect murder of my mother in law because she decided to ban my difficult child from Mother's Day activities while expecting that husband, I and easy child would attend. She was however left alive because I had a stain in my funeral attire that didn't come off and shops have such a lousy selection of black at springs. And she back-pedalled from not wanting difficult child to attend. So I decided to postpone my murderous plans till fall. Some how I never did get to it during the fall (murdering mother in law, I mean, I did buy new funeral clothes) and so we are here. Mother's Day is coming and mother in law is creating drama. This time an only casualty may be I. It's very possible I may laugh myself to early grave.

    Apparently things have been too quiet for mother in law for some time because she is back to banning business. This time she is banning one of her daughters. Okay, that is not funny and I do feel bad for my sister in law who has never been her mother's favourite. But the reason for the ban is really out of there even for mother in law. It's because of a corp. Field mustard to be specific.

    We and in-laws live middle of fields of old family farm. This sister in law continues the farming with her SO. When they took on farming they went organic. In organic farming rotation of corps is really important and of course you also farm what sells. This year, for fields surrounding our houses the choice is field mustard. Okay, I admit that when I heard that, my first thought was "Oh darn!" too. I'm first to admit I prefer wheat or rye next to our yard. But mother in law is taking it as personal, mortal insult. And now sister in law is ruining mother in law's garden parties through summer, making mother in law's social life impossible and what not, because she chose such an ugly and smelly plant to our 'home fields.'

    And because mother in law is mother in law it is not only a ban from Mother's Day brunch. She forbid father in law from helping sister in law with spring work. father in law pretends deaf (and hasn't got a smallest intention to obey.) So now mother in law is playing a martyr and involving us. She is going on and on how unfair father in law is by helping his favourite daughter and leaving their poor first born son (husband) in plight with kitchen reno. The testament to how powerful childhood roles can be is that my husband actually listened his mother till he explained it to me and saw how I react. First of all. father in law has worked with our kitchen reno 7 weeks now. When spring work will really start it will be almost done. Rest is work for pros or easy things I and husband will manage ourselves. father in law is tirelessly helpful to all his children. Yes, he and this sister in law may have most in common but unlike mother in law (whose golden boy my husband is), father in law doesn't keep favourites. Not much at least. And father in law farmed those fields for 40 years and was agriculture professor for a day job. Of course he is interested helping sister in law with farming. And in no shape or form are we getting a short stick in this.

    Luckily husband and his siblings are close bunch and mother in law's dramas never make too big wedges between them. And even more lucky is that sister in law is too busy and too used to her mother's fits to really care.
  2. nerfherder

    nerfherder Active Member

    That's just...

    I'd be THRILLED to have field mustard next to our orchard! It's wonderful food for honeybees. And chickens *love* anything mustardy.

    Your mother in law is hilarious. And I love your excuses. Consider adding a couple pigs to your farm, that makes body disposal *easy.*
  3. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    SuZir, I think that is the best mother in law temper-tantrum I've ever heard. "How DARE you plant field mustard near the house. You're ruining my garden parties!" Tee hee.

    Gosh, I'm going to have to start thinking up some antics so that I can be a horrid mother in law when the younger ones start pairing off.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    These are so hilarious I think you should start a book.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Hmmm....I'm a big city girl. Are "field mustard" and mustard greens the same thing? Or is it the componet used to make mustard? The yellow stuff that we put on hot dogs?? Ignorance is bliss. LOL DDD
  6. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Nope. Field mustard (or canola or turnip rape) is related to turnip. It is grown for oil (from the seeds.) It's rather pretty for week or two, when it flowers but it smells oily, attracts bees and other flying things and is not pretty early or late summer and makes one ugly and miserable to walk stubble after harvest.

    As I said, wheat or rye are much prettier and more pleasant next to your house. But I'm sure there are worse destinies than having to live a summer now and when next to field mustard field. And it does good things to the field and next summer sister in law can probably plant wheat to these fields again.
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I've never heard canola called "field mustard" or "turnip rape"... used to be "rape seed" around here... and it is NOT that bad. Seriously.

    THAT's all she has to complain about? Get a life!

    (real mustard seed... yuck)
  8. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Well, I do think she is tiny bit bored. father in law has spent his time in our house almost that two months during the day and his evenings have been busy because all kinds of associations and clubs having their annual meetings. Her best friend has been away and her favourite daughter has been out of the country. She hasn't been even needed much as a babysitter for her grandkids (I have to say that she has always been very helpful to us and her other kids in that.) And no one has really created any drama she knows of (she doesn't know much at all about difficult child's recent issues, just that he is likely to change teams and had a rocky season sport wise.) Not even around our community (okay, someone cheated on someone with their sister-in-law but those were more newcomers and not natives (few hundred years of pedigree in this village required) so it doesn't really count.)

    She will have a new grandchild to coo over soon, so hopefully that helps.
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Tell her to plant a nice rim of heritage wheat on HER side of the field, and she can use it for decorating etc later... and it will be HER wheat. ;)
  10. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    IC: mother in law doesn't have field of her own, all the fields of the family farm are sister in law's. Or not yet officially (she hasn't yet bought husband and other siblings out), but in her use. mother in law, like us, has only her garden and then sister in law leaves a small piece of field for us to grow more vegetables etc. and to grow our own potatoes and carrots for the winter (father in law does that, we and sister in law and other siblings eat them. I have usually had two naughty boys to offer for extra chores when spacing and weeding time is there. Though once I think both managed to behave themselves at that critical time and I actually had to pay them to do it...)
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Interesting. Not my thing, lol, but interesting. DDD
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Just had a light bulb moment..:bigsmile: Did you ever get to watch the old "I Love Lucy" television show? It was not a favorite of mine BUT in one episode Lucy wanted to win the Garden Club's Annual Prettiest Lawn Contest. She bought beautiful plastic flowers and decked out her yard. Maybe mother in law could do that to provide ambiance for entertaining. Poor Lucy didn't fare so well. The Judges were delayed getting to her house AND it was the hottest day of the year. Poor results, lol. DDD
  13. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    I know the show but haven't seen that episode. However I'm sure my mother in law's garden parties will be usual successes despite distasteful corp growing next to her lawn. :bigsmile: She does entertain well. Her parties are always success.

    Interesting thing is that now when I'm not middle of this particular drama it is very easy for me to see how this will play out. When Mother's Day comes, we will all be at that brunch, also sister in law, and having good time after polishing both our shoes and our manners. This will again be lots of noise and nothing else. And I do think that I and other daughter/son-in-laws are only ones who even get bothered with these. father in law, husband, his siblings, our kids and their cousins just consider it business as usual and couldn't care less. So it is likely me who should change and not care even when I'm middle of it. But while I can see how it is, when I'm not emotionally too invested, I always work myself up when it is about me or my kids. I just want to be part of this extended family so badly that I always feel awful, when mother in law does something like that to me or my difficult child. And I really shouldn't. We may be unfavoured ones, but we are not only unfavoured members of this family and mother in law's fits are just that. She takes out her frustrations to us or uses us to create drama when she is bored or wanting attention. And that is just who she is and I shouldn't take it personally.
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Sounds like she never grew up and is a difficult child. Major time. She is also a control freak who seems intent on driving her entire family away from her. Hmmmmmm...self-destruction is a big difficult child trait, isn't it? I really can't stand when older adults busybody and judge their adult children and try to continue to tell them how to behave. It doesn't work either. I guess it socks to be her.

    You wear dresses for mother's day? Even black dresses (hehe)?

    We just wear jeans and go casual.
  15. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Heh, my Mother's Day will likely be spent in yoga pants and a t-shirt, going to lunch and seeing new Ironman movie with Storm.
    I do need to remember to buy some Mother's Day cards and get those out in the mail though. And now I'll have to Google to see just how ugly this field mustard stuff really is.
  16. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Heh, one of the family traditions is that brunch in nice enough restaurant. So yeah, usually dresses, no jeans, but still rather casual. I don't even make my boys wear ties. Just presentable enough that we don't look like total country bumpkins even if we are :bigsmile: But some of those garden parties mother in law throws are black tie and I guess she is worried that field mustard doesn't go well with that. :rofl:

    And HaoZi, don't believe Google, it gives you only pictures of prettiest time with that plant. I mean, this http://www.mycoldprairie.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/Mustard-field.jpg doesn't look that bad. But it looks like that about a week. Early summer it looks like badly planted weed, late summer it is unflattering shade of brown, tangled and seriously ugly. And the scent is oily. And at fall stubble isn't nicest colour. :bigsmile:

    And yeah, my mother in law seems to have some difficult child traits of her own.
  17. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    The close-ups of individual plants I found (even at their prettiest) still look like weeds to me. But you know what's uglier? Cotton fields, at least to me, are pretty darn ugly. And corn fields and sunflowers just flat creep me out in real life.
  18. nerfherder

    nerfherder Active Member

    I just keep thinking... "Valerian. She needs to live next door to a nice field of Valerian."

    It smells like a cat's butt. Gets cats higher than catnip. (Also a sedative for humans. I remember reading that Valium's active ingredient is synthesized form of the stuff in Valerian. Could be a myth though.)
  19. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    It smells like a cat's butt.

    OMW, I have this mental image of you holding up random cats and sniffing from a few inches away, and going, "Nope, not potent enough..." and choosing another cat.
    *giggles madly*
  20. nerfherder

    nerfherder Active Member

    And Kiddo asks from across the cottage "What's so funny?"

    I'm glad it was a *little* glass of cabernet over ice. Not enough to go up my nose.