Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by rejectedmom, Feb 13, 2009.

  1. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    difficult child came over to work on the outbuilding today. He informed us that he had gotten permission form his PO for overnights. I asked him where he was going on overnights and he told me "At my girlfriends house tomorrow and maybe here if you ever want me to." Good grief, he lives in a group home that is a ten minute walk from here so why would I want him to stay overnight?

    I am so exasperated, difficult child has been told over and over again by his therapists, his previous PO's, program staff, me and husband, etc. to stay away from girls and work on himself. It was a girl that brought him down the last two times and he ended up in jail for eight months as a result and so deep in debt (cell phones bills and engagements rings and other stuff for the GFs that he never got back) that he will be working at paying it down for the next ten years. So he got this new PO who is a mental health PO who I thought would be so much better than the inexperienced girl he had last time and what happens? She gives him permission for overnights to a girls house who he has only known for two weeks!!!? I wonder if she is hoping he will fail and end up back in jail on another Probation violation? Is this how they reduce their work load? Set up the Chump? GRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! ............OK Detaching now. -RM
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Maybe she's hoping difficult child will learn to recognize the pattern himself. Because until he does, he'll keep repeating it.

    Problem is he's a young guy who is still being led around by his hormones.

    Detachment is the key. But I know what you're feeling.

  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Good grief! :919Mad:

  4. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Lisa, I doubt that the Po cares one way or another if difficult child learns. She has never called me seems very uninvolved. has already told him that she will give him no chances if he fails the program she willsend him back to jail for two years. This is the mental health division? You are right I need to stay detached.

    Suz, Yep, you know what I mean. -RM
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Wow. Such a nice lady, too. *dripping with sarcasism* She's from the mental health division? sheesh

  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    It makes me :sick: that the PO's just don't seem to get it....and, truthfully, I tend to agree with the assessment that most of them sincerely don't care. As a battleworn Feminist it pains me to say that I think the females
    are worse than the males.

    Detaching is possible for me "inbetween" contacts with "the system". Good luck! DDD
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. Keep working on the detachment.

    This "mental health" PO is labeled that maybe because she NEEDS mental health care? Only way this seems logical to me!
  8. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Lisa, Yep obviously doesn't want my imput. Thinks difficult child is an adult can take care of himself? Who knows what is in her head.

    DDD, We have never had a male so I cannot make any comparisons. I think that women in this field do tend to overcompensate by being overly tough and then turning to tears when thy fail as the last one.

    Susiestar, You crack me up! LOL -RM
  9. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    So sorry.
    Gosh - I don't even know what to say.
    Except, I guess there is not much to do except let him live and learn. Sigh. Evidently the judicial system is not going to do much.:(
    You don't need this on your plate on top of everything else.
  10. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Thanks Steely, I do not think I will ever entirely loose hope for my difficult child but man I do get frustrated often. I have very little faith in the PO, the Judical system or in his doctors. I do like the program so far though. difficult child is 22 and I guess I will just have to learn to accept that I am no longer the person that oversees his programs and medications and what-not. -RM