Oh she makes me so mad...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Shari, Jun 16, 2011.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Cgfg's mom threw a hissy fit about the summer schedule. Made a big todo about cgfg going to volleyball camp, and having to be there for it, blah blah blah.

    Well, it was last week. The local paper came out yesterday with a story on the camp - and a photo of the attendees. Guess who's not in it?

    So I asked about it. Oh, she didn't get to go cause she didn't have enough money to pay for it. Her mom couldn't afford it.

    She just turned 14. She's not allowed to spend an afternoon with friends, let alone babysit or do anything to earn money. As I said, she's not even allowed to talk or text or email or facebook....where the hell is she going to get money???

    That woman ticks me off so bad...all to control her daughter and us. I gaurantee its an attempt to get us to pay for the next one. She bought a new van in Sept 2009. A new Toyota Tacoma V8 4dr truck in Sept 2010. They bought switchblade knives for the whole family and goats (just what we know about) at the flea market last weekend. I also know they bought jewelry at an auction 2 hours from here in April that they were at for 2 days, buying stuff.... They've got a 52" flat screen tv hanging on the wall, the newest playstation and xbox game systems, and all the games. Android phones that they got new in February. A new $250 min pin puppy. But they can't pay for cgfg to go to volleyball camp for a week?

    I'm sorry. She just makes me so mad. I dont always like cgfg, but the girl doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell...
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I feel so bad for cgfg. Like you said, she doesn't have a chance :(
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Why now Shari I know you're smarter than that my dear.

    What with spending money on new cars, jewelry, xboxes and playstations, big ol plasma tvs and the like, of course she can't afford it. It shows where her priorities lie. And while cgfg may not be the most likeable child much of the time, she deserves better. But you know what? She sees the same thing you do, though she probably will never admit it until she finally gets fed up. She also sees where her Mom's priorities lie and it's not with her. Sad.

    My Mom used to say it was all about us kids growing up. phhht Yeah, ok. Not. She held down a full time minimum wage job to support us, I'll give her that. She tried to "raise us right"....I'll give her that even though it was mostly abusive as all heck. But all about us? Not by a longshot. We wore out of style handmedowns or thrift shop bargains (cheaper because they were so far out of style)......if we were lucky we had 3 outfits, 2 for school and 1 for church. She bought us school supplies at the beginning of the year and it had better last until the last day or you did without. Her? She bought new clothes all the time.....seriously it took two closets to hold them all. She went "out" more nights than she was home. If she wanted something she bought it, or got someone to buy it for her. If we wanted or even needed something we heard about how horribly poor we were. (and we really were)

    I had my Mom down before I was 8 yrs old. I would've never admitted it to anyone until I was an adult out from under her control.

    So, yeah. Cgfg probably has her mom pegged.

    Don't blame you for being so mad though. Katie does the same thing with her kids and it drives me up the wall.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Oh, you're right, hound. She not only has her pegged, she's mentioned it more than once. Her stepfather's ex plays the same games with his kids as cgfg's mom plays with her, and she's said more than once her mom is just like his ex, and has referenced the money they don't spend on kids, etc.

    And don't get me wrong, she's not hungry or naked, but come on...people need human interaction, too, and if her mother had her way, cgfg would probably never leave the house in this county. (sometimes they go camping at what they call "the campground" - which is an isolated lot at the lake that cgfg's mom's parents bought that they park the campers on. Still, no people, and no friends. Woohoo.)

    Luckily, cgfg's grandma buys her clothes and school supplies. Heck, cgfg doesn't even have a swimsuit at her mom's house. She had to take the one I bought her to go swimming at their "campground" the last time they went. But grandma will buy her one. If its up to mom, she doesn't get much, yet mom has tons of clothes. Mom's mom gripes to me about mom's shopping habit! (I asked her to pick up some bras and underwear when she took cgfg school shopping last year, and when I handed her money to pay for it, she said cgfg's own mother wont pay her back, so she's not gonna make us pay her back, either. And then proceeded to complain about her mom spending all her money on pretty bras and underwear and 30 pr of jeans (already knew the 30 pr of jeans - she only does launry once a month))

    I'm not against 2nd hand clothes, but cgfg showed up here in a pair of space jam shorts...remember that movie? difficult child 1 watched space jam when he was YOUNG. SO thank goodness, in some respects, for her grandma. Heck, cgfg and I stopped at Goodwill on Wed and she found 2 brand new western shirts for 50 cents each and was thrilled with them. But come on, woman, step up a little...

    Part of me wants to tell husband to get off his butt and hire a mediator or a lawyer and get the girl involved in life. Another part of me says leave it alone til cgfg decides she really wants out (she has said for some time she'd like to either live with us, or spend a lot more time here...we figure at some point she'll get sick of her mom and just show up here and never leave...that's what older sister did)

    Anyway, thanks for listening. It makes me so angry.
  5. skeeter

    skeeter New Member

    when she's with you, could you afford to have her do "odd jobs" for spending money? Would her mother permit her to keep the money to do with what she wants?
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    This is.............of course.........the woman that is growing HOT HOUSE tomatoes and has all this extra spending money??? And you have NOTHING to hold over her head? UH huh. I see, Okay. Well then.

    As Hound said ------and I agree 100%, but Hound DID say.....You are smarter than that dear. Oh SO MUCH SMARTER than that. (does little dance) uh huh uh huh uh huh........Booo yah.
  7. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Ok, yeah, Star, we do, but we can't prove a lick of that stuff. None of the people that smoked dope with her are gonna jump to state that on record in court. lol Most of them have kids, too.

    So yeah, I know what I'd do if it was my kid to do with....but, its not. And I'm already shoulder deep in their **** and trying to keep myself out of it. And husband knows all the same things I do, but he never thinks about them. So what do you do?

    Oh, and she has some money here from her cows we've sold in the past, but she isn't aware of it. I'm not sure what her mom would do if she found out about it, because its a few hundred dollars. Earning money would be better than opening that can of worms, tho...good point, skeeter.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    OH I'm misunderstanding - I thought that B had a hothouse full of MJ. growing with her tomatoes. lol. I was going to say Just call and say "Look I have this friend in the Narco squad who could call someone here in Zouri and tell a few people about your little tomato business - NOW I want that kid to get volleyball money - and no more freaking switchblades - and GET OFF MY DONKEY....Get my drift you raft maker or I make a call and while I'm at it leave me alone?"

    Then again I'm all for just calling her and being polite Mom and saying things like "I think that was very unfair of you - you, you, horrible human."

    I could play it either way. - The novel, writerish way - or the straight up Mom way.
  9. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I don't have anything concrete on what grows in her hothouse...I hope I didn't convey the message that I had concrete evidence... but I do know first hand that she enjoyed her MJ...and I do know that the tomatoes she sells don't come out of that hothouse, but there's usually something growing in it. And if you drew a stoner, you'd draw him. And his brothers all have various possession charges and restraining orders (he has had some restraining orders against him, too, keeping him from his own kids, tho they are no longer in effect) And I do know if someone were to place a bet, where I'd put my money. I don't think she's a big time grower or dealer...but I'm certain its there.

    With her older daughter, the girl left when she was 12, I think, and moved in with dad, and almost never went back to mom's, even to visit. The reason she left? Mom was mean to her (I saw that firsthand), and mom favored cgfg. Cgfg could do no wrong. This girl's dad continued to pay cgfg's mom child support for the next 7+ years, even tho HE had the girl. She's that much of a witch to deal with. When he petitioned the court to stop? The ONLY things mom was paying for were cut off - the girl's car insurance, and her cell phone. That was mom's big punishment to the dad for "cutting her off". She so doesn't live in the real world. Anyway, tho, husband pays child support based on NEVER having cgfg, and based on her having 2 children in her custody, so he already pays several thousand more than he should. Plus she won't send appropriate clothes when cgfg is here, so we have to also provide clothes, etc. I'm all for paying the dang fee for her to go, but once we start that? It will never end. We'll be paying for EVERY THING.

    I'm actually dedbating about asking my neighbor to offer to pay for her camp fees since her mom is so broke and I'll give them the money. Just so mom doesn't know it came from me, and mom can think someone else knows what she did and she doesn't like for people to know that sort of thing. Bothers her a lot.

    I very well may say something, but I don't know. I don't know if I want to crawl back into that potty pond after crawling myself largely out of it.
  10. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    Maybe cgfg not going to volleyball has more to do with keeping her isolated than with money? Money was just an easy excuse. Sounds like bio-mom is afraid to let cgfg have a life outside of her control....fear of losing cgfg. A captive/isolated child will only have mommy to love and no one else.

    Just thinking outside the box....
  11. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Oh, no, M2O, that's her. Its not about the money AT ALL. I promise you that. She's yelled at me that cgfg can't come for any "extra" time because husband didn't treat her right when he lived with her. Or that he "gave up that option" when he left. And she'll occassionally get frustrated and tell cgfg if she loves her dad so much, she can just go live with him and never come back. Its all very manipulative and controlling.

    Keep in mind, I knew this woman for 10+ years as husband's girlfriend. And I promise you she hasn't changed a lick. All about control and her way. When she and husband first split, she was making some attempt to be amicable and allowed husband to see cgfg before there was a court order. (long before I was in the picture with husband). husband took cgfg to a rodeo, and she didn't feel well and wanted to go see her grandparents (the Brooms) so let her go stay at grandma's (she was like 5) for an hour or two until it was time for her to go home. Cgfg's mother was at this same rodeo (as was the entire group of friends we all hung out with) and she saw that husband didn't have cgfg. When he told her where she was, she stood there in the entry gate to a professional rodeo, right beside the ticket sales windows, and SCREAMED at him because he took cgfg to his parents instead of to her parents. And that was the last time he saw cgfg for a year (the length of time it took to get everything filed and through the courts). When husband and I started dating, he asked her if cgfg could come with us to some event, and she stood in the drive and screamed at him that he had a new family now, and he loved my boys more than his own daughter, so why was he even bothering.

    And she'll happily admit she doesn't want cgfg around when her husband's kids aren't there. She wants them all at once, or none at all. They "interrupt" her plans. There have been many times we weren't allowed to switch weekends so cgfg could join us because her mother didn't want her the opposite weekend - she had plans with no kids and wasn't about to interrupt them. And when she did? Cgfg would stay with her mom's mom. But Lord, no, was she coming to see husband any extra. In fact, if her mom needed a place for cgfg when her mom wasn't available? She'd send cgfg to stay with her first ex husband, admittedly so she wasn't spending any "extra" time with dad.

    The woman is a mess all in her own right...