SuZir
Well-Known Member
Welcometowitsend was yesterday back to PE and I wanted to give her a short recap how things are going with my difficult child. I first thought of honest reply: "Kid has been going downhill whole fall and early winter and month ago hooked up with her ex-girlfriend when new boyfriend was on the road with his team, used to said boyfriend's tablet to gamble 3 grands away and then on his way to his friend's house fall/jumped from the bridge almost 30 feet fall to open water, in -20 F weather. And having nine lives he has, lived through that. Other than that everything is fine and dandy." I went with more conservative ups and downs, peak of latest crisis passed, answer.
Okay, here no one would have much batted an eye to the honest reply either. But later yesterday I was at Joy's game. I was cheering for him, keeping up with live recap of difficult child's game, studying for my first exam of my 'back to school-program' (I recently began my studies to upgrade my Master's degree to PhD) and eating my supper (if you ever have to hire someone who has good multitasking and time management skills, go for moms with couple or more kids in several sports, most are pros in those areas) and still one other parent braved to come and talk to me and ask about how my difficult child is doing. I purposely misunderstood him and told him how the game he was playing in that moment was going. And when he tried to elaborate, I tattled him all the sport clichés of how he is existed about being part of this team's first play off round in ten years etc. He wasn't mean spirited, just someone who fancies himself an expert of this sport and insider and likely hoped I would have given him some info about difficult child's plans for next season (not going to happen, we are not telling even to Joy much about difficult child's negotiations before he is about to sign the dotted line.)
Middle of chatting it came to my mind, how he would have looked me, if I would have instead tattled him that truth I wrote to the beginning of this message. And maybe it was because I have lately been worn thin by many things, most not related to difficult child, I couldn't hide my amusement for that thought and had to quickly excuse myself to restroom to giggle - and maybe cry a bit. Took me almost half an hour to pull myself back together.
I almost begin to think, how I have never felt it so difficult when someone asks about difficult child. Angered at times, yes, but not like (I wouldn't know what to say. And then realised, I have way too much practise in it. I can remember when I was very young, well before staring school, when I first realised other people didn't live like we did. And how I made it to my task to find out how 'proper', middle class people lived and started to translate what I told about our home life to that 'good citizen' language. I was so young, that lying seemed really bad thing to do, so I just bended the truth. I became an expert of bending the truth until it was nicest bow-tie imaginable. So it has been easy to use those same skills to chat about difficult child.
But sometime a world of difference between these different truths just starts to have gigantic and amusing characteristics.
Okay, here no one would have much batted an eye to the honest reply either. But later yesterday I was at Joy's game. I was cheering for him, keeping up with live recap of difficult child's game, studying for my first exam of my 'back to school-program' (I recently began my studies to upgrade my Master's degree to PhD) and eating my supper (if you ever have to hire someone who has good multitasking and time management skills, go for moms with couple or more kids in several sports, most are pros in those areas) and still one other parent braved to come and talk to me and ask about how my difficult child is doing. I purposely misunderstood him and told him how the game he was playing in that moment was going. And when he tried to elaborate, I tattled him all the sport clichés of how he is existed about being part of this team's first play off round in ten years etc. He wasn't mean spirited, just someone who fancies himself an expert of this sport and insider and likely hoped I would have given him some info about difficult child's plans for next season (not going to happen, we are not telling even to Joy much about difficult child's negotiations before he is about to sign the dotted line.)
Middle of chatting it came to my mind, how he would have looked me, if I would have instead tattled him that truth I wrote to the beginning of this message. And maybe it was because I have lately been worn thin by many things, most not related to difficult child, I couldn't hide my amusement for that thought and had to quickly excuse myself to restroom to giggle - and maybe cry a bit. Took me almost half an hour to pull myself back together.
I almost begin to think, how I have never felt it so difficult when someone asks about difficult child. Angered at times, yes, but not like (I wouldn't know what to say. And then realised, I have way too much practise in it. I can remember when I was very young, well before staring school, when I first realised other people didn't live like we did. And how I made it to my task to find out how 'proper', middle class people lived and started to translate what I told about our home life to that 'good citizen' language. I was so young, that lying seemed really bad thing to do, so I just bended the truth. I became an expert of bending the truth until it was nicest bow-tie imaginable. So it has been easy to use those same skills to chat about difficult child.
But sometime a world of difference between these different truths just starts to have gigantic and amusing characteristics.
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