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"Oh, the Places You'll Go!"
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<blockquote data-quote="Littleboylost" data-source="post: 724628" data-attributes="member: 21895"><p>Oh my dear Leafy. I am sending you the biggest cyber hug and energy boost I can send!</p><p></p><p>To write these words of our own stories and then read them with half hystericle doubt....is it true?? Is it real....sometimes being here amongst my Difficult Child and AC kin is the only sense I have that this is true and real. So good we are not alone. Leafy you are not alone. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>My body has been on an exercise break for a year. I am getting there. I used to merely think about exercise, or anything for myself for that matter and hyperventilate with an attack of anxiety. It is getting better. More time for me. You have taught me how important that is in order to survive this addiction madness. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Ugh!!! Social media and Snapchat are the bain of my existence at the moment. Old druggies and druggie GFs barraging my son. They are all so Gangsta brave behind their rediculous little keyboards. Man the way they carry on is like an episode of Good Fellas. We live in a nice neighbourhood!!! What the hell is getting these young adults to behave like this??!!! Oh ya drugs. Social media and the engagement of negative outcomes what a thing to deal with. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I feel that. I escaped it only to fall into it with my son. I try hard not to focus on that. As I say shake any family tree hard enough and a few skeletons are bound to fall out. </p><p></p><p></p><p>This is the mind and brain of the addict. Drug napped. I often feel the overwhelming shame they feel for their actions when sober is what drives them to relapse. </p><p>I told my son today I trust you to do this certain thing. He looked and me tearful and said do you trust me?! I said none of us are perfect and today is today. One step at a time and yes today I trust you to do this one thing. And tomorrow I will trust you more becuze today I trusted you. I have had several texts from him giving me the play by play report of his actions. It was to give the school $10 to register for a special event. This reminded me how fragile and broken they are from their dance with the drug devil. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh the places we go indeed. To the Park Aka home to visit, jail to visit, court again and again and again. Once again my dear Leafy you are not alone. We are all here with you. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>We are in the throes of hoping our sons experience in jail will be the catalyst needed for change. Who knows. Baby steps one day at a time. At least you know they are warm and fed with a roof over their head and drugging is tough with no barter in Jail. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Ahh yes breath breath breath. I have started a morning meditate ritual. It has helped tremendously with the PTSD anxiety I wake with. I could not even possibly describe this feeling to anyone, it is horrible. Fortunately I am among those who require no explain. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh how I know this sense and place. It’s ok to be there just don’t dwell too long dear Leafy. Yes it is ok to feel numb and sad. Recognize it and remember these feelings do nothing to change the outcome with our AC. So hug yourself be good to yourself and steer clear of the Swirley Whirley. We are here to catch you, to lift you up. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh how I wish I could wake from this awful nightmare as well. As I am certain we all do. It is there it is ours to observe, not to own, fix or change. It is the most exhausting observational exercise I have ever been through!! </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I belive in a higher power. I have to believe their is something greater than us all. I often feel this is what helps me keep on keeping on when I need to, have to and can’t seam to understand how I managed. Foot prints in the sand. </p><p></p><p>Circiling the wagons Leafy! </p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/grouphugg.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":grouphugg:" title="grouphugg :grouphugg:" data-shortname=":grouphugg:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Littleboylost, post: 724628, member: 21895"] Oh my dear Leafy. I am sending you the biggest cyber hug and energy boost I can send! To write these words of our own stories and then read them with half hystericle doubt....is it true?? Is it real....sometimes being here amongst my Difficult Child and AC kin is the only sense I have that this is true and real. So good we are not alone. Leafy you are not alone. My body has been on an exercise break for a year. I am getting there. I used to merely think about exercise, or anything for myself for that matter and hyperventilate with an attack of anxiety. It is getting better. More time for me. You have taught me how important that is in order to survive this addiction madness. Ugh!!! Social media and Snapchat are the bain of my existence at the moment. Old druggies and druggie GFs barraging my son. They are all so Gangsta brave behind their rediculous little keyboards. Man the way they carry on is like an episode of Good Fellas. We live in a nice neighbourhood!!! What the hell is getting these young adults to behave like this??!!! Oh ya drugs. Social media and the engagement of negative outcomes what a thing to deal with. I feel that. I escaped it only to fall into it with my son. I try hard not to focus on that. As I say shake any family tree hard enough and a few skeletons are bound to fall out. This is the mind and brain of the addict. Drug napped. I often feel the overwhelming shame they feel for their actions when sober is what drives them to relapse. I told my son today I trust you to do this certain thing. He looked and me tearful and said do you trust me?! I said none of us are perfect and today is today. One step at a time and yes today I trust you to do this one thing. And tomorrow I will trust you more becuze today I trusted you. I have had several texts from him giving me the play by play report of his actions. It was to give the school $10 to register for a special event. This reminded me how fragile and broken they are from their dance with the drug devil. Oh the places we go indeed. To the Park Aka home to visit, jail to visit, court again and again and again. Once again my dear Leafy you are not alone. We are all here with you. We are in the throes of hoping our sons experience in jail will be the catalyst needed for change. Who knows. Baby steps one day at a time. At least you know they are warm and fed with a roof over their head and drugging is tough with no barter in Jail. Ahh yes breath breath breath. I have started a morning meditate ritual. It has helped tremendously with the PTSD anxiety I wake with. I could not even possibly describe this feeling to anyone, it is horrible. Fortunately I am among those who require no explain. Oh how I know this sense and place. It’s ok to be there just don’t dwell too long dear Leafy. Yes it is ok to feel numb and sad. Recognize it and remember these feelings do nothing to change the outcome with our AC. So hug yourself be good to yourself and steer clear of the Swirley Whirley. We are here to catch you, to lift you up. Oh how I wish I could wake from this awful nightmare as well. As I am certain we all do. It is there it is ours to observe, not to own, fix or change. It is the most exhausting observational exercise I have ever been through!! I belive in a higher power. I have to believe their is something greater than us all. I often feel this is what helps me keep on keeping on when I need to, have to and can’t seam to understand how I managed. Foot prints in the sand. Circiling the wagons Leafy! :grouphugg: [/QUOTE]
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