Oh Well PIFFLE!!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Oct 27, 2009.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    husband is fuming in the livingroom.

    About 2 wks ago we went to see mother in law. She, as she always does, gave us a list of things she needs/wants. husband promised her at that time to bring it to her the next day. After we had much issue getting her to understand that we no longer have control over her money.......and with husband out of work, we honestly don't have the cash to buy the stuff and bring it to her. husband had tried to tell her he'd tell his bro's wife and see what could be arranged.

    Soooooooo. Of course husband did squat. Although bro's wife did call a few days ago and they spoke about it. He did NOT go back to see his mom.

    mother in law called tonight upset. (don't blame her) Seems some of the stuff she really needed/wanted and now her underwear has gone missing from the laundry. husband tried to explain he'd spoken with bro's wife and she was supposed to be sending the stuff mother in law needs to the nursing home. (cuz she has control over the money)

    I guess it didn't go well cuz he told her he'd get the stuff tomorrow and bring it to her. I don't know how he thinks he's gonna do that. Since the only cash we have is from my fasfa rebate........and sorry, that's gas money for school and a video card for my computer. I didn't get hardly anything back this time cuz I was just part time.

    mother in law just called. She wanted those underwear tonight! husband said fine (sort of growled after she wouldn't accept 9:30pm is a tad late to go underwear shopping) then evidently mother in law got mega mad at him.

    And me?? I'm staying OUT of it. I do not have the time to coddle mother in law or heck even to visit her on a reg basis. I barely have time to get food into the house for husband and I, let alone do extra shopping for her.

    husband is the one who promised he'd get the stuff and didn't. husband is the one who won't visit her without me. When I told him that quite honestly I don't have 2-3 hrs to waste sitting with mother in law when my nose needs to be in a book. I go when I can, which isn't often. Yes, I feel bad about that, but I also can't help it. And the following quarters are only going to be worse.

    And somehow.......it got to be MY fault he didn't by those things for his Mom out of the unemployment check......um sorry we needed food and to pay bills, bud.......and that now he's catching hades for it.:mad:

    This whole bro's wife handling the money thing is not gonna work well. Not that I want the job. Had it and hated it. But her attitude well if you just pick it up for her and we'll send you the money when you send the reciepts isnt' gonna cut it. husband is unemployed. Duh. We don't have the cash to begin with! ugh I sometimes really hate dealing with people who have never spent a moment in their lives poor.:mad:

    Oh well. husband's problem. Somehow he's just going to have to make his Mom understand we can't just run out to the store for her anymore. Stinks, but that's the way it is.

  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    mother in law should have an account for spending money if she is a resident in a nursing home or assisted living center, it's for some piddly amount like $50 per month. It's to be used for toiletry items, clothing, hair cuts, etc. Have husband call the social worker or case manager... they WILL get her undergarments and pay for them out of this account.
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Yep, what TM said.

    As for brother in law and sister in law....tell them flat out you can't afford it. If they balk..."It's ONLY $7 for underwear" show them exactly why you can't afford it.

    Unemployment check - $XXX.00
    Bills - $XXX.00
    Gas for SCHOOL - $XX.00
    Food - $XXX.00

    Money left for mother in law's incidentals? Nada.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Echoing TM and Stang.

    Hugs to you.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Hmmm. Ok.

    mother in law does get 50.00 per month......and it's added up cuz she really doesn't have much to spend it on there. Does someone from nursing home buy the stuff? If they do someone forgot to mention it.

    If not, you suppose they'd balk if mother in law took enough out of this to pay for what she needs?? Of course I don't see why they would, it is her money after all. I will make husband get it for her, we just need the funds. Course once he's working again (I sure hope soon) we'll have problems getting them to her.....but we'll cross that bridge later.

    I forgot she had that account as really she just uses it to get her hair fixed. Thanks for reminding me. :)
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Why can't the person in charge of the money just order stuff online and have it delivered to mother in law? It would take you and husband mostly out of that picture. It solves the money problem and it will take a load off of YOUR overburdened shoulders.

    Kudos to you for making husband face his mom when he failed to follow through on a promise!

    I know amazon, drugstore.com, and many many other places will just ship things to her right away.

    If you use amazon you can pay a flat fee and get most of the stuff shipped 2nd day by UPS. Or you can pay per order.

    I am sorry that they don't understand the money crunch.
  7. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    sister in law took the job, and she needs to do it. You had your turn, now it's hers. You have other things to worry about right now, like your schoolwork. husband can visit her alone until you have a break in your schedule. The more you step in to help the person who manages the money, the more you'll keep on having to do that. Tell sister in law to put more money in her account if she wants to take a more hands-off approach.
  8. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    The social worker will run out to Walmart to get mother in law what she needs.