Oh well...

[Shari]

Two-three weeks ago, Cgfg's mom messaged me and said cgfg wanted to go camping with us this coming weekend. Its not normally her weekend to be here, but mom asked if we could switch so she could go with us, and then she could have cgfg on Easter weekend (found out later her step-kids swapped weekends, and she doesn't like to give up her weekends without kids so works hard to keep cgfg and the steps on the same schedule.) Anyway, we said sure.

So cgfg is going camping with us this weekend.

Cgfg tells us last night she has a choir concert on Saturday and its for a grade. But mama doesn't want her to stay at her house this weekend.

Mama wanted me to stay out of school...I'm staying out of it. I'm sure the concert has been on the calendar longer than 3 weeks. We're going camping, and mom switched weekends on the pretense Cgfg wanted to go with us (and then screamed bloody murder because we asked to swap the next weekend so cgfg can go to a shoot - funny how that works, huh?).

Cgfg will miss the concert. I'm making it not my problem.

 

[susiestar]

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

while school is important, this koi has been going on with-o consequence for either cgfg or her mom for too long. You made plans, she knew them and inserted cgfg and there is no way she wasn't told that cgfg had a concert. You have gone out of your way for, and personally PAID for (out of YOUR income and not husband's I am quite sure) tutoring for cgfg that took place on YOUR time with her, fought with cgfg over homework and school work in the past.

You have also been made well aware that no one else in cgfg's life will make her do homework or schoolwork and it has been mostly your fight when neither of her parents really give a good dang about it, esp if it interferes with their lives.

THEN you were told to stay out of school. AFTER you were the ONLY one who even gave that dang about it - as not even cgfg seems to care.

So WHY would they think you would change your plans for a school function even if it is for a grade. I guarantee you that mom thought you would interrupt your weekend to take her home, clean her up, find and clean her choir uniform, take her there, see the concert, applaud and praise her, take her out for a treat for participating, and take her to get changed back into camping gear, and then go back to camp or whatever.

This is a big load of BS being heaped upon you. Ignore the choir concert, stick to your plans and let cgfg and her mother deal with the school issues because they don't care about them anyway. Why should you, the stepmom, care more about school for cgfg than cgfg, her mom or her dad? If there are any repercussions, well, she has a dad and a mom who can deal with them. I do predict that mom will get upset because you didnt' take care of this. Don't let her get away with it. Either ignore her or go get in her face.

GO SHARI!!!!!!!

 

[nvts]

What Susie said PLUS infinity!
Beth

 

[DaisyFace]

What nerve she has!

I'll bet anything that she expects you to change your plans in order to get cgfg to the concert....without disturbing her "kid free weekend".

 

[Shari]

I have no doubt that will be the expectation. I will not change my plans.

I did email the teacher and told him how this happened and that we were not changing plans, if there's a way she can make up the grade. I thought that was pretty generous of me. lol

Besides...if we cancel this late, we lose our money.

 

[AnnieO]

DF, what's a kid-free weekend?

 

[DaisyFace]

DF, what's a kid-free weekend?

LOL! I know....I never get one of those either!

I've told husband that maybe we should get a divorce so that we can have every-other weekend "off"...

 

[AnnieO]

LOL! I know....I never get one of those either!

I've told husband that maybe we should get a divorce so that we can have every-other weekend "off"...

Yeah, but ya never get them together...

 

[Shari]

I'm divorced and I get one kid-free weekend a year. Twice cgfg's mom has tried to set up so cgfg is here that weekend and I won't take her. I have even, in the past 6-8 months, had cgfg not come her night during the week when Wee had gone for the night with my mom. Bad. But I'm not sure I care anymore. lol

I have often thought if we wanted Cgfg at our house more, if we let her mom know we didn't want her interrupting our free time, I'm 95% sure her mom would start sending her.

 

[Andy]

While I understand why schools make concerts mandatory (otherwise there would not be much of a concert as many kids would not go if they had a choice), a student should not be punished for their parent's inability or unwillingness to get them there.

Cgfg can take it up with her mom and her mom can get it excused from the school. You shouldn't have to change your plans for this especially when there is no reason Cgfg can not be at her mom's. No reason why her mom can't make this happen for her without burdening anyone else. I would think Cgfg's mom would cherish the one on one time with her. Her mom is missing a great opportunity to spend a fun day with her daughter!

 

[Shari]

Normally, Andy, I'd say the same thing about getting her to the concert while she's here. There's no reason I can't. But mom, who wanted me to butt out, should have known about the concert, and mom specifically knew we were going camping this weekend and specifically made arrangements for cgfg to go with us.

Now I also happen to know that her mom's hubby has his kids Easter weekend instead of this weekend...and she doesn't want cgfg around one weekend and the steps the next...kills her free time (this is not speculation - she has stated this to me). So I am 99.9% sure the motivation for asking if cgfg could go with us was to have all the kids at the same time (because a couple days later, we asked to swap weekends again so cgfg could be here April 30 and her mom literally blew a gasket at the request...."what do you think? you can just have her for every fun thing you want??? And she can just come and go as you/she pleases?" (uh, yeah, as parents, that's the way it should be....but I digress)) But that's not the point. She asked for cgfg to be able to go camping with us, and we made arrangements for that to happen.

The old me would drive her back for the concert. The new me says its on mama. Her problem cgfg isn't going to be there.

The sad me knows none of it will matter in the end.

(And you're dead-on, Andy. Why wouldn't you enjoy time alone with her? I'm her STEP MOM and I enjoy the very rare outing I get to have with just her. I'd love to have more opportunities for that to happen.)