Oh, what a day!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Jan 27, 2009.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    difficult child has been acting up a lot lately, so it came as no surprise when a teacher called for me to pick him up in aftercare because he had used a bad word.
    Now, some of this is a bit over-the-top with-the school ... I mean at this age, kids are going to talk and you don't kick them out, but, since there are little kids there, I can see where it's inappropriate. (Ages 5-10)

    Last wk, difficult child drew a smiley face inside of a hopscotch square, with-something coming out of the mouth. A classmate commented that it looked like pot. difficult child said no, it's a wrench.
    difficult child got called into the ofc. So did the other kid. You can't talk about drugs at school.

    Yesterday, they were playing some kind of game where you pick a person to marry and have kids with. Odd game ... anyway, one boy picked another boy, and everyone protested and said men can't have babies. difficult child said, "Yes they can, because they can have org*asms."
    WHAT??? ROFL.
    Not to mention, he remembered the story in the news last yr about someone who had a sex change and was a "man" but changed his/her mind and decided to get pregnant. Still had her uterus. (Thankyouverymuch, American news media.)

    The teacher was very stern and angry ... I can see where that would be inappropriate for little kids, but frankly, I was more concerned that difficult child understand the true biology of it all. I told him he would study it in biology some day and of course, he had to argue about that, so I just dropped the subject.

    So, while we're walking out of the bldg, my cell ph rings and it's husband, telling me to walk across the pkng lot because easy child's car was just broken into. :anxious::sad-very:

    Wow. The entire driver's side window was shattered and in pieces on the ground. She was sobbing.
    Her boyfriend was next to her, calling 911.

    Apparently, she had put her stuff in the car, then walked over to his car, which was 25 ft away, and 3 guys in a jeep drove up, picked her car (it's a bright yellow VW) and used a crowbar or something to smash the window and take her purse, backpack, and other items.

    easy child and boyfriend at first thought it was someone they knew, then realized a guy was inside of the car, and they didn't know him at all, so they ran up and yelled, and the guy hopped in the jeep to drive off. Boyfriend got in his car to try to block them, but all they did was drive around him, and go the wrong way down the one way driveway and leave.

    The pkng lot was filled with-cars, but since it was about an hr after carpool, it was mostly just parked, unattended cars.

    My ph rang again. It was PCs friend, saying some teacher from a local elem school had called and said PCs backpack and purse were thrown out onto the school driveway. Yaay!

    I left easy child and boyfriend to wait for the police, and picked up her stuff. Her ph was there, but not her wallet, with-her license, her $ (only $8) and lots and lots of gift cards from Christmas. She had asked for Bed, Bath & Beyond gift cards so she could decorate her dorm this fall. One was worth $100 and the others were $25. And there were also Starbucks and Old Navy and other giftcards. :sad-very:
    husband drove up and he and difficult child walked all over the school to look for the wallet, but after an hr, never found it.
    I returned to the HS to help with-the police, who catalogued everything. They lifted 1 fingerprint, but it will just sit in a file for a long time because easy child and boyfriend didn't get a lic. #.

    This a.m, difficult child got up and scarfed down 3 bowls of cereal, then announced he had a headache and wasn't going to school. husband was sitting in the car waiting, and had to pick up another kid, so I sent him on his way. :faint:

    I sent an email to difficult child's teacher, and heard footsteps ... difficult child had snuck downstairs and was playing Sims on the computer. I told him no games when you're sick. He said, "Feel my forehead!" about 4 X, and refused to acknowlege he was playing a game. I went to take the mouse and he blocked my way. I went to call husband and difficult child tried to rip the phone off the wall, and he blocked my way.
    Boy, is he regressing!

    I backed away. He is now reading in his rm. He is not dressed.
    He cannot afford to miss any more school.

    He and husband have a mtng with-the child psychologist today. That's the only bright spot.
  2. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Jeesh, you need a drink!!!!

    I am so sorry about your daughter's car. The nerve. I swear some people have no conscience!!! (my daughter being one of them!!)

    I think that the school overreacted. It would have been more beneficial to the kids had they took them aside and explained the truth to them. They are just talking, as kids do, about things they are curious about. Some factual insight would have been better than consequences!!!!

    Org*sms!!!! LOL That is priceless!!!

    I hope your day gets better. :)
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    The chaotic lives with difficult child'ss...!! Are they reacting this strongly with other kids or have they "targeted" difficult child? If they have targeted him at school, it might be a good time to get him on an IEP, if he's not on one already.

    I wish I could offer words of wisdom to help YOU in all this, but as you know, I haven't found the answer to it yet.
  4. compassion

    compassion Member

    Terri, (((( )))). I hope today is less eventful :) Compassion
  5. 4timmy

    4timmy New Member

    Ah yes. The calls from school and day care about cussing and all of the other inappropriate things our difficult child's do!

    Trust me, I feel for you. My entire weekend was filled with meltdowns, etc. Makes me feel like I want to run away for a month or so........ Wanna go with? LOL! Definitely a "Calgon Take Me Away" moment for you .

    We were just inside the door at counseling last night and my difficult child announces that he "just got out of surgery and now whenever he lifts his leg, he FAR*S" and then proceeds to lift his leg and FAR*!!!!:sick: What? Where did that come from?? No one really laughed, just commented that it was gross, so this, of course, upset him (because, well, everything does).

    Hang in there! It's only Tuesday. Bleh
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    (hands small, sterling, engraved flask to Terry - eeshc - just keep it)

    WOW - and I don't miss those days AT ALL!!!!

    I'm so glad that your daughter was not harmed. A window can be replaced, and so can gift cards - (they will be sold) I have it on decent authority that no self respecting grab and smash goes to BB&B. (pathetic attempt at humor). I think that poor kid has had JUST about enough.

    So.....my nephew is going from super cool to super fool huh? Nice move. That's the difficult child dance - two steps forward, five steps back...step to the side, shake-it, shake-it....collapse. (Detest that dance)

    I'm not sure if it was maturity or my size 9 foot across Dudes buttox that assisted him towards perpetual forward motion and disallowed him from doing the difficult child dance. Of course true to his narcissistic self - he'll take all the credit. lol

    (tell my nephew I am watching him) VERY closely. ;)
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Well, thanks for the chuckle, 4Timmy. I can afford to, since I wasn't there.
    And hey, at least he didn't say anything about org*sms! :)

    Well, difficult child ate a turkey sandwich (white corn bread, no gluten) and husband took him to school for an hr, b4 their psychiatric appointment.

    (Now I'm worried that he may have a corn allergy ... I'll try to do an elim diet in Feb.)

    Klmno, I think difficult child has been targeted but a cpl teachers, one of whom was at their old elem school. She takes everything WAY too seriously. I'm thinking I may have to keep him out of afterschool care a cpl days a wk, just to lessen the statistical chances of him getting into trouble. :(

    I will talk with-his teacher and arrange a mtng with-this "other" teacher, too.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Star, we were posting at the same time. :)

    Yeah, easy child and difficult child both agreed that the BB&B card would be sold.

    Funny moment--somehow, our conversations overlapped when I was telling difficult child that easy child had a BB&B card in her purse. He said "What would anyone want that for?" and I said "You can get so many things with it--toothbrushes, shampoo, pillowcases, bedspreads, bean bag chairs, china, cutlery, candy, lotion--"

    He interrupted me and said, "She had all that in her PURSE?"

    OMG, ROFL!!!!
  9. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    O Terry--

    I am so sorry!

    I am a big believer that the Universe prefers balance--perhaps after all of these troubles, you will receive an equal amount of serendipitous good fortune?

    Your family definitely deserves some...

  10. Terry,

    I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time with difficult child. I hope that things change soon. Hopefully meeting went well with school psychologist.

  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hope today is much more peaceful!
  12. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Re: difficult child and school. I *just* got out of a meeting with a psychiatrist that handles the emotionally challenged children for the School District for J. Now, J, he's a easy child. Total easy child. Is behind in grades - yes - and has had incidents with peers - but, to me, they're incidents.

    When we were kids, everyone gathered out to the playground to watch a fight, two boys (or girls) went at it, nobody got involved and everyone went on their way. Sometimes, the two people fighting, even becoming friends. *Now* if you even so much as *LOOK* at a child wrong, OMG, there's something wrong! Call in interventions, get help, start therapy. HES BIPOLAR!!!!!!!! So, J kicked a boy that was teasing him. "Oh, that's not typical behavior - ". I told him where to stuff his opinion.

    Some of the incidents may be considered "not typical" - BUT look at the age we live in. You can turn on the TV and these kids are being subjected to all kinda stuff. Look at the video games. I mean, these kids are growing up much faster, and I think the powers that be involved in the schools are taking alot of this stuff way toooooooooooo far.

    Ok, off my rant, I apologize.

    I hope your day is better. I really hope easy child finds out who broke into her car. That stinks :(
  13. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Terry12: When I have days similar to this day you have described I will sometimes say out loud : What was my horoscope today? Hide under the covers you just don't want to go there!

    Right now I have a window broken out of my car and all the locks were broken or removed and the interior consol was totally broken by a theif.
    I definitely remember the days when the phone rang and it was the teacher again.
    I do not find that language is an appropriate reason to remove a child from the school either.
    The business about the lesbian as a "man" who had the babies....it is cruel to punish a child for commenting or knowing about that. And when children come to school with tidbits of biology (orgasms, as an example) what a teacher needs to be doing is establishing a boundary and not invalidating the child for what has pasted infront of their ever learning attention field. The first thing a teacher REALLY does need to do is take time to learn from the child what they do know about orgasm.
    And if it doesnt reveal an immediate need to call police to investigate a crime then the teacher needs to establish the one on one relationship with her student where they have a safe environment to talk about what they know or has happened to them.
    The last call I recieved about something my child said was a body part word. I was called by the school conselor about the pronouncement of the body part word in the classroom. Hearing the complaint about the use of the body part word in the manner it was (outloud) I acknowledged that saying that word causing the teacher to feel alarmed was not ideal for me as a parent. However I also commended the school district for their role in teaching my child the correct words for the body parts. I said "at least he didn't say salty nut sac, which would have been much more alarming".
    One of the side effects of having children with the predictable unpredictable behavior potential is that we as adults are reminded in these ackward moments how difficult it is to grow up in a social context. Part of the maturation we as the adults enjoy is around the acceptance of what girls and boys will do and being able to squire them into more seemly conduct with the aplume that really saves the day for all of us.
    for the teachers, alot of them are younge, and even for teachers who are older sometimes it will be our child who ventures into that realm where as parent we hear teacher say "not ever in all my years has a child ever...done what it is that your child did today"....the big lesson is "learn something new everyday!" That's my boy!

    The thinking process your child is validly presenting with the orgasm as baby making. This is not the first time I have heard a younge boy express insistance that men make babies too. In my veiw their growing awareness about this is normal
    and adults need to accept that. We tend to be very hard on boys about sex because we tend to feel that somehow sex did become a form of male entertainment when the marketing of sexually tantilizing behavior exploded on the marketing scene.
    When my son was pre-school age and came home with ideas about sex he learned today at the school from the other children I had the where with all to ask him what he knew. From that point I was able to speak to his questions based on his awareness level in an honest way that respects age appropriate awareness and was in line with the facts in the bigger picture.
    These bodies and our biology are self awareness and I do not feel that children who learn what ever crosses their radar are being inapropriate when they share it.
    It is through our mannerly mastery of the social graces that we help each other with the ackwardness of realities, and it is a complex behavior that our children learn only from the care of others.
    Hope the next day is much less dramatical.
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I love this, Ropefree: we hear teacher say "not ever in all my years has a child ever...done what it is that your child did today"....the big lesson is "learn something new everyday!" That's my boy!

    Yep. Not in all my years, LOL!
  15. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    What a day! You just can't cut a break lately.

    I'm sorry about easy child's car getting broken into.

    I think the school needs to chill.

    Just a couple of weeks ago I was showing a movie about fur seals. I explained how the male has about a hundred mates, or "wives" in their harem.

    This one 5th grade student, a very smart, socially clueless, impulsive, and highly sensitive, difficult child blurts out that the male is actually "fornic*ting" with all the females.

    My reaction was: "HUH?":surprise:

    Most of the kids (thank goodness, I didn't want to go THERE), didn't react because they didn't know what he was talking about. I took him aside and explained that the word he used didn't apply to animals and to please not use it again at school. He looked at me a bit puzzled, but nodded that he wouldn't.

    I chuckle now that I think about it.

    I am more concern when I hear students talking about when they watched Scarface or Friday the 13th. I'm gobbsmacked that parents would allow their young children watch that stuff.
  16. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I'm with you on this one...although "Friday the 13th" is TAME compared to the recent "Saw" movies.

    My difficult child is dying to see those. I said "No way! No how!".

    So I am sure that she will take advantage of the first available opportunity to see them at a friend's house.


  17. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!




    I'm tired just reading it! Man, Terry, I hope tomorrow is waaaay better!
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Dazed, LOL! :D

    I have to admit, I had to ask my husband what that word meant. Recently. :redface:Apparently, it's when you're not married. And seals don't get married, right? :surprise:

    I'm thinking about mtng with-the principal to discuss the language issues, and maybe pull difficult child out of aftercare. I have a male acquaintance who needs $ and has a cpl PhDs just being wasted ... why not give him the $ instead, and then difficult child can use all the words he wants and it won't shock this guy in the least. And the guy can easily redirect him. :smug:
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2009
  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ropefree, life is so unfair.
    My horoscope today said that I do not deserve all the pats on the back I'm getting.
    I never believed in those things, anway. :(