I am at work and so tired right now. I work with steel executives and really have to keep it together and most unfortunately I think I'm becoming a pro at it as of this writing. Maybe numb is the word. My 20 year old Difficult Child son has been on a binge for about a month now on and off. Last night was the final straw. After we went to bed he stole my new car. My last car had electrical problems so it was with great pains that we had no choice but to trade it in and purchased this car. He actually took a lot of time and difficulty to dislodge the garage door opener so we would not hear it so he could open it manually. However our bedroom is above driveway and we literally had just shut off the TV so we heard car. My husband hopped out of bed and got in his car to try to follow him after he fixed the garage door. He then called him and told him to get home or we were calling the police. When he got home I was worried my husband would hit him because we are so frayed and angry but he just yelled at him "why would you do this to us" and that he was going to be evicted which is something we have been threatening if he did not follow our rules (so far has not). In Illinois that is the law if your adult child won't leave on their own. Flashback earlier last night when I got home from work Difficult Child asked me to take him to community college bookstore to get a book and get a school ID. He takes 2 classes but has been on binge ever since school started saying his anxiety etc. so not sure school was a good idea. One class is not at main campus so small setting and other class is online so think he uses this as an excuse. He is also on Effexor and started seeing a psychologist weekly for anxiety (week 2 in). Not sure how else we can fix anxiety. He was high when I took him but I just wanted to get it over with. While we were gone my husband found weed, beer and whiskey in his room. How can any of it work when he self medicates? We finally got to bed and then at 3am my son started texting me that he wished I could put a bullet in his head so he doesn't have to live this horrible life any longer or he would slit his wrists etc. etc. and that he will kill himself by the end of the night. My husband felt he was trying to control me as we've been through this before but I was afraid not to respond. I did get up and take him to a psychiatric hospital that has a detox unit (he was there in July for benzos). (Like I could sleep after all this crap). There he told them he had been taking Clonopin and Opiates and needed to detox. He had gotten 60 Clonopin 1mg from the ER last week somehow. When the nurse went to copy my insurance card he pulled out 2 yellow pills and told me they were clonopin and took them on the spot. I told her when she got back and she said that he now had to go to ER. I showed her texts of his threats on his life but when they asked him about it he denied he was suicidal. He was somewhat of a jerk to the nurses and I was very embarrassed. At that point they took him in for vitals etc. and said they would transport him by ambulance to the ER and then back to their facility (literally a block away) and that I could leave so I did. I have not heard anything yet but we want him to go to rehab. He is probably mad that I left but I don't care. He did this to himself and I need to remove myself from all this drama. He insists he needs to go to class since he is doing very well but I think his mental health is more important. He has used our credit cards this past month without our permission for small purchases and sold a computer that wasn't working that we told him not to sell. We hide our keys, purse etc. each night when he is like this. I am so sick of living like this. I feel we are enabling him by letting him live with us and using drugs. HELP ME I can't see the forest for the trees.