I was so totally ticked off, I never even posted this. But after being yelled at YET AGAIN, I remembered. lol I asked easy child 2's mom to let us take her to tutoring (even said we'd pay). Yup. Snowballs at the bottom of an active volcano have a better chance. Let's see, first off, she took me into her house, where easy child 2 was sitting on the couch. And the screaming commenced. Fisrt she screamed at me to butt out of her business. To which I replied I'd be glad to, but that means she'd have to talk to husband, which, thus far, she refuses to do. Then she screamed at me that it wasn't fair husband did this stuff now. She said he didnt care when he was with her, why should he care now? I told her that attitude does nothing for her daughter now. She screamed on that one for a while. I reminded her that when she confided in me once, long ago, how she felt so mistreated by him, that I told her she was miseable and she should leave. She didn't want to be alone. But I reminded her of that choice (and she actually told me that being with him was better than being alone). (they were truly a toxic pair when they were together). Then she screamed at me for having easy child 2 tested behind her back. Granted, yes, I did not call her up and ask permission, but we have been asking her to get easy child 2 help fior TWO years now, just how, exaclty, is doing sopmething about it now considered "behind her back"? She asked us to pay for a retainer for her teeth. We questioned it and she shot back "dr recommends this". We agreed to pay, but while we were talking about "dr reccomendations, what about tutoring and counseling?" Never heard another word about that retainer. Anyway, I digress. By this point, easy child is crying and her mom's new hubby has the sense to tell mom to take it outside. She does. And calms some (its been over 20 minutes at this point). Apparently, she and hubby fight a lot and they've just fought again. Mom cries to me, more, about how its not fair husband is involved now that he's not with her (he basically wouldn't go home the last few years of their relationship), but refuses to allow us to take easy child to tutoring. She SWEARS she gave the school the paperwork following the ADD evaluation and the school refused to do anything (more on this later). She cried about how her new hubby doesn't make his kids do anything and all his money goes to his kids and its not fair to easy child 2 to have to keep her room clean (when she shares the room with a kid who doesn't ahve to [ick it up) and doesn't get to do stuff cause they can't afford it cause of his kids (remember, this is the woman who pays for NOTHING regarding her own child - heck, barely herself...and we've offered a hundred times to put her in sports, dance, etc 0 but she won't allow it) But I bit my tongue about that. She carried on about her husband mistreating her, and my guess is that he is a control freak. I asked her if she was ok, but there's nothing I can really do to help her - she says her hubby wouldn't let us "talk" on "friendly" terms cause Im' linked to an ex. (beleive me, this is ok with me...) I asked if she had asked the school to get the IEP team back together when she gave them the evaluation. Well, no, she didn't, what was that? I explained, then she got mad at me for knowing this stuff. Thankfully, I've been thru it with difficult child 2, so I had an honest out there - I knew this because of him...that cooled her jets just a bit. So I at least talked her into letting me get an IEP evaluation rolling again. But no tutoring. And it will take at least a couple of months to get anything started thru the school. I'm sure. Grrrr. Anyway, the next night, I was at easy child 2's grandma's house (mom's mom). I asked if they (mom)were home, I needed to talk to her about the tutoring again. Grandma asked about it and I explained. Grandma then let loose about her daughter and "loser" husband. Then she said something about when SHE had gone to the school trying to get tutoring and counseling after the ADD evaluation when her daughter couldnt get them to do it. I inquired, and per her mother, turns out this woman didn't WANT the IEP team back together because that would mean husband and I would have to be involved - so this mother denied her daughter tutpring for TWO YEARS to keep us out of it. And then had the kahonas to yell at ME for doing something behind HER back??? OMG I could spit nails. I still could. And with her latest fiasco, and manipuklating easy child 2 into saying what she wanted to hear, and her thinking that if we spend 2 extra hours with easy child 2 doing family activities we are "taking time away from her and hurting her relationship with her daughter even tho she might jnot be out running around" like we do....makes my blood boil. I gaurantee if I go peek in their house windows right now, easy child 2 is in her room watching the Disney channel alone, will stay up til 1 or 2 am doing so, while mom and hubby are either in the living room watching R movies or in their bedroom with the door closed. Put $100 bill on it. We're meeting with a lawyer next week to see exatly what, if anything, we can do and what chance we have. I'm afraid not much til easy child 2's just a little older, cause mom will lie to the ends of the earth to cover her butt. She'd even sell out her own daughter to cover herself. I'm glad we can at least go down the iep path, but it makes no sense to me why someone would turn down help fior their kid when it would be no skin off their back. When the school offered free homework help after school and she refused it because she didn't want to hav to drive in to pick easy child up, and we offered to transport easy child, she refused that, too. It just is beyond me.n It hink the woman would cut her daughter in half to avoid working with us to help her. Heck of it is, she won't help her on her own, either. Maybe my expectations are too high. I dunno.