Gaia
New Member
I don't know where to start this. My difficult child is my son, he is 5 years old. I had a feeling that he was different from the others for a couple of years, but never knew it was something that would affect the entire family. I will try to give you all a little background, without getting too wordy. There is so much bottled up inside, it may just come pouring out. So thanks ahead of time for reading.
When I was pregnant with Eric, we had it all planned out. He'd go to the neighbors while I was at work. That only lasted a year. I could not handle working full time and they got mad when I cut their hours back. When he was one, I changed my hours to work only 3 (long) days a week. I was home with him for 2, and mother in law was home with him when I was at work.
When he was 2, I took him to a Mommy&Me class. In this class, he made friends and seemed to have fun. He refused to participate in circle time and craft time. He had no problem with free play or snack time. I was told this was normal, he was only 2, some kids don't like crafts, etc. Since my daughter was not like this, I believed what I was told, that boys and girls are different, and this was normal for a boy.
When he was 3, I took him to a preschool in our local church. He was there maybe 3 hours on 2 days a week. He ate snack there, played, made friends, but still would not do the crafts. Again, I was told this was normal for a boy. He participated in the Christmas concert they had, although I am not sure he actually sang, he definitely got up on the stage with the whole group.
When he was 4, I started him in a full day preschool/daycare. Kindergarten will be full days, and I wanted him to get used to it. He was assigned to the Pre-K room. This time, he stopped eating. So now, not only was he not participating in the group activities, he was also not eating. He never disrupted the class, was always very quiet, played nicely with the other children, and stayed on the edge for all the group things. Most days when I picked him up, I found him sitting right by the door, waiting for me. He'd take the snack they offered with him in the car. This was the year that he slowly got worse. Loud noises/music/sounds bothered him, and I noticed larger crowds bothered him as well. The school had some prescreening for kindergarten, but it was on a day that he didn't go to school, and they never said to me that he really should do it. I had no idea how serious this problem was until he got into kindergarten.
At the pediatrician's office a few days before kindergarten started, Eric was out of control. This was the first time he acted this way at the doctor's office. He was screaming, crying, kicking, trying to get out of the room. He refused to do anything the doctor asked. At this point, she recommended taking him to a social worker.
He refused to do the public school's prescreening for kindergarten. I was lucky they placed him with a nice, soft, warm teacher. She is really concerned for Eric. She called me on the third day of school. I have been in constant contact with the school ever since. He won't do any work in class, even if before school and it's just him, the teacher and maybe one other child (I began sending him to extra help 2 mornings a week). He won't do work during the day, even if sitting away from the other children. He still does not disrupt the class, but she has no way of assessing him. He won't do anything for her. He has no problem doing the classwork and homework at home though. In fact, he seems to really love it and loves to learn. He must be picking up some things from school, while he watches from the edge. He won't participate in gym, art or music either. The social worker says he has a form of selective mutism and general anxiety. We see her once a week, and she says what she is doing is behavior therapy.
I have my first meeting with the school team (the school psychologist, school counselor, prinicipal, assistant principal, special education coordinator, and the teacher) on November 15th. The social worker will be available by phone for that meeting.
I am sure there is more to say and if you have any questions, let me know. My hand hurts and it's getting close to bedtime. Thanks for reading this far.
When I was pregnant with Eric, we had it all planned out. He'd go to the neighbors while I was at work. That only lasted a year. I could not handle working full time and they got mad when I cut their hours back. When he was one, I changed my hours to work only 3 (long) days a week. I was home with him for 2, and mother in law was home with him when I was at work.
When he was 2, I took him to a Mommy&Me class. In this class, he made friends and seemed to have fun. He refused to participate in circle time and craft time. He had no problem with free play or snack time. I was told this was normal, he was only 2, some kids don't like crafts, etc. Since my daughter was not like this, I believed what I was told, that boys and girls are different, and this was normal for a boy.
When he was 3, I took him to a preschool in our local church. He was there maybe 3 hours on 2 days a week. He ate snack there, played, made friends, but still would not do the crafts. Again, I was told this was normal for a boy. He participated in the Christmas concert they had, although I am not sure he actually sang, he definitely got up on the stage with the whole group.
When he was 4, I started him in a full day preschool/daycare. Kindergarten will be full days, and I wanted him to get used to it. He was assigned to the Pre-K room. This time, he stopped eating. So now, not only was he not participating in the group activities, he was also not eating. He never disrupted the class, was always very quiet, played nicely with the other children, and stayed on the edge for all the group things. Most days when I picked him up, I found him sitting right by the door, waiting for me. He'd take the snack they offered with him in the car. This was the year that he slowly got worse. Loud noises/music/sounds bothered him, and I noticed larger crowds bothered him as well. The school had some prescreening for kindergarten, but it was on a day that he didn't go to school, and they never said to me that he really should do it. I had no idea how serious this problem was until he got into kindergarten.
At the pediatrician's office a few days before kindergarten started, Eric was out of control. This was the first time he acted this way at the doctor's office. He was screaming, crying, kicking, trying to get out of the room. He refused to do anything the doctor asked. At this point, she recommended taking him to a social worker.
He refused to do the public school's prescreening for kindergarten. I was lucky they placed him with a nice, soft, warm teacher. She is really concerned for Eric. She called me on the third day of school. I have been in constant contact with the school ever since. He won't do any work in class, even if before school and it's just him, the teacher and maybe one other child (I began sending him to extra help 2 mornings a week). He won't do work during the day, even if sitting away from the other children. He still does not disrupt the class, but she has no way of assessing him. He won't do anything for her. He has no problem doing the classwork and homework at home though. In fact, he seems to really love it and loves to learn. He must be picking up some things from school, while he watches from the edge. He won't participate in gym, art or music either. The social worker says he has a form of selective mutism and general anxiety. We see her once a week, and she says what she is doing is behavior therapy.
I have my first meeting with the school team (the school psychologist, school counselor, prinicipal, assistant principal, special education coordinator, and the teacher) on November 15th. The social worker will be available by phone for that meeting.
I am sure there is more to say and if you have any questions, let me know. My hand hurts and it's getting close to bedtime. Thanks for reading this far.
