Ok, I'm almost through it!

[nvts]

Happy Valentines to you all. As most of you know, I was dreading this day most of all. AH always pulled out the stops on Valentines. He would forget/mess up my birthday, Christmas and everything in between, but this one was the biggee. He's supposed to come over tonight to see the kids because I bought them candy and cards from both of us.

I'm at a loss for why this isn't settled in my mind - you've all given me the reasons (repeatedly and for that I'm sorry) but jeez-louise - I just can't seem to get a grip.

He's been so back and forth for so long - I just don't know why I don't tell him to take a flying leap.

I've got to get these kids whipped into shape, get a job and some self-respect and move on. There - now I sound determined.

And then I start falling apart all over again.

Humpty dumpty hasn't got a prayer on me!

Love you guys!

Beth

 

[AnnieO]

Look at it this way - I started calling it Hallmark Hearts Day.

It's a good way for retail to earn money. Who needs a single day to show love? You have the right idea!!!

You'll make it through. Promise. HUGS!!!!!

 

[Star*]

For Beth on Valentines Day - by Star & from the rest of the CD Board

Oh Super Squirrel, How we adore thee
Let us count the ways....If there were enough numbers in the world
We'd surely sing your praise.

Your friendship means the world to me
You know I love your children
I'm quite fond of your baby Evie, of this I'm not a kiddin'!

Your butter cricket soup is yummy
No fare can quite compare. Where do you find the time to cook?
And coif such lovely hair?

Through tough times, good times, holidays
You've been such a little trooper
Even making us all smile - when your x was such a pooper. (wondered how I was going to work that one in huh?)

So here's to you our lovely friend
We wanted you to know.....
This is your special Valentines -
Because we love you so!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BETH!!!!!!!!

 

[Hound dog]

Ditto Star's poem. Happy Valentine's Day Beth!

I hate this overdone holiday.

Aubrey slipped me one of her school valentine's she picked out for me. A hologram with kittens in different poses. Worth a million bucks in a Nana's heart. You can't put a price on love.

Hugs

 

[KTMom91]

Sending great big hugs from California! Hope you and the kids have a wonderful day!

 

[DammitJanet]

I think of it as a Hallmark day too. Really, why on earth do we need just one day to show love with some big shiny balloon and a bunch of flowers that are going to die in 3 days? And really, unless you can really pick good chocolates, those boxed things arent very good...lol. I would get them and find half of the pieces uneaten. And who needs another Teddy Bear that costs $75 proclaiming its undying love for you?

Like I said before, thats all well and good if you are 6. I do all this stuff up good for my kids...or well I did before they became adults...and now the grands. Keyana got her Justin Bieber outfit and is in 7th Heaven. She thinks he sent it to her himself...lol. Dont ever tell her otherwise okay? I think Tony is just going to get to enjoy my company...lol.

 

[AnnieO]

On Friday, Jett was all upset and worked up - OH NO! What should I do for Daddy and Mommy-C (me) for Valentine's Day?

I told him if he cleaned his room, that would be a great gift.
...EVIL, EVIL, WICKED STEPMOMMY!!!!!

(Now let's see if he did it... He was at BM's this weekend.)

 

[Jena]

Beth it's soo normal to be all over the board. you'l get there!! hugs and keep it together tonight that's going to be hard. ((hugs))

Star well honestly i think you missed your calling!!!

 

[busywend]

It is almost over, Beth! I hope you told him to take a flying leap!

YOU GO!!!!

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Beth,

ok, here's an honest "been there, done that" - I personally feel the first year is the most difficult when it comes to moving through those family memories. Christmas mornings of past come to haunt, etc... Once you begin to create new traditions with your changing family things become better.

I would have given cards and chocolate from mommy - let daddy do his own thing. You can't be responsible for his relationship with his children - that's on him. If you continue to do that kind of stuff, he will not become an independent father. I know it seems such a little thing, but trust me, you have to stop thinking like a wife and start thinking like a single parent - he probably is. You have to begin separating mommy and daddy for the kids' sakes. Yes, you are still their parents, but it will give the children an honest picture of life.

Just a little "been there, done that" advise.

Sharon

P.S. Beth - I know this thread was starting with a little sadness and melancholy on your part, but I just saw something in you that used to be me. Doing my best to make sure that daddy looked so good in their eyes. It was not enough that I never said anything negative about him, I had to cover for the things he forgot. But after awhile, I realized my energy need to be used for me and the kids. He needed to step up to the plate and be the father I made him look like while we were married! He was happy to sit back and let me do just like when we were husband and wife. I realized that he needed to foster and independent relationship with his children and I was being a crutch to that. I thought to save you some of the stress of feeling you had to "cover" all.

 

[TerryJ2]

How did it go, Beth?***Star, LOL!!!!****P.S. I always buy myself chocolate a few days in advance and consider it "done," so no matter what does or does not happen on The Day, I'm not totally disappointed. Just a thought.****Can I borrow Jett? What a sweetie.***

 

[AnnieO]

Terry? Take him, he's yours.

Had to remind him to clean his room yesterday. His idea of clean? Is dirty clothes in the hamper. My idea of clean includes the trash in the trash can, sheets and comforter on the bed, toys in the toybox, books on the bookshelf, homework in the bookbag...

Actually, on second thought, no. Cause I asked husband last night why we couldn't have TWO like him... Annoying but basically a good kid...

 

[nvts]

P.S. Beth - I know this thread was starting with a little sadness and melancholy on your part, but I just saw something in you that used to be me. Doing my best to make sure that daddy looked so good in their eyes. It was not enough that I never said anything negative about him, I had to cover for the things he forgot. But after awhile, I realized my energy need to be used for me and the kids. He needed to step up to the plate and be the father I made him look like while we were married! He was happy to sit back and let me do just like when we were husband and wife. I realized that he needed to foster and independent relationship with his children and I was being a crutch to that. I thought to save you some of the stress of feeling you had to "cover" all.

Wow Sharon! You hit the nail on the head. I guess because nothing's been finalized as far as where this whole thing is going to lead I thought that should he move back in (which in not going to happen - he's not going to go to therapy or marriage counciling so I won't take him back) I was trying to maintain "damage control".

Star - you always make me smile...I thought you would yell at me for this one! The poem was excellent!

To my CD family: Thank you so much for helping me through all of this...you've been there throughout this entire ordeal and I can't express how much all of you mean to me. You truly are the best!

Love,
Beth
(the Weenie)

 

[HaoZi]

The first year is the hardest in my experience. I have to agree with LDM, make him do his own, don't do it for him. Don't cover for him, don't apologize for him, nada. If they want an answer about him, tell them they can ask him. In the end he'll have to answer to them one way or another - best not to muddy the waters by making excuses for him.

 

[Jena]

just think truly you have this new and exciting life your about to embark on. trust me you really do. stay strong!! you deserve only the best!!

 

[Star*]

(slaps chefs hat)

OH LORD SHE's ADDING MORE FOOD -

butter cricket soup AND a weiner........OY!