OK, now I get it

[klmno]

Exactly how I feel, Buddy. What difficult child was wrong and I held him accountable- wwell, with the police and judge's help. But he has never done anything threatening to another person, much less actually hurt anyone but me. They honestly are doing this to get back at me- think about it- they were originally going to unlock the door, have me pick him up to bring home with no services. Now it's their power battle. They say "well, we didn't know he'd done these things to you". KOI- the reason they didn't know is because they never picked up his file! because I made issue over that, then now they don't really think he should return to my custody at all and that would get me out of the picture. Another one of those things where state and fed gov want to keep families together because it's shown to help the kid and keeps the kid off gov cost for care- but local people (some, not all) go out of their way to drive the parents away because they don't want to deal with the parents. So that's my point- none of these laws, initiatives etc mean koi if they haven't put competent people in there to check on how this is being played out ITRW. OPur state allows self reporting on results (statistics) and sends someone around to audit where money is going. That's it.

And as I've said before, I sometimes think that other families on this board with difficult child's in intensive programs are being driven further away from their kids or these "service providers" are using manipulation tactics to drive a bigger wedge between the parent and the kid instead of heal the family in order to CYA themselves. They always seem to have a way to convince the parent that it's the kid's fault their "service" isn't helping, thereby making more strife in the family and getting the parent off the back of their staff.