Ok, so I spoke too soon......

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by bran155, Aug 11, 2008.

  1. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    She was discharged this morning, we went for our intake appointment. for the partial program which starts tomorrow. That went okay. She was getting a little aggitated because we had to wait in the waiting room for over an hour. She handled that pretty well considering. No cursing, which was really good for her. She got very defensive during the interview as she absolutely hates to hear about her bad behavior. So when I mentioned her making bad choices or getting very angry and going into a rage, or anything regarding her behavior she got mad. To her credit she handled it better than usual. I am disappointed because the partial program is only until 1 pm during the summer. I guess I'll take what I can get at this point.

    So we are home and of course she is on the computer talking to strangers on her myspace page. She has this garbage music blasting, that is something I definately didn't miss!!! For the most part she has done very well today, she has been cleaning up after herself and has been generally pleasant. However, she starts in on me about not going to the partial program and how it is her summer and if she doesn't want to go she wont!!! Oh great, not even 24 hours at home and she is already refusing to do what she needs to. So I told her she had to go and that was that. Here we go with the "When I'm 18 I'm not going to therapy or taking my medications and there is nothing you can do about it" SHE'S BACK!!! So I told her that she was right, if she doesn't do her part to help herself then there is nothing I can do for her. I will no longer bend over backwards to help her, I will no longer fight with her to make good choices and I will no longer pick up her pieces or leave my house in the middle of the night to pick her up for that matter. I told her the choice was hers, she is the only one who can change her life, if she isn't pro-active in helping herself than I won't help her either. I told her that I would go the ends of the earth for her as long as she is making an effort to get better, if not, than she is on her own!!! The last thing I said to her was "If you choose not to comply with your treatment plan or not to take your medication when you are 18 than you cannot live in my house!!!" I know all too well what is coming. I can feel it. I knew some of the old stuff would surface but I didn't think this quickly. I don't want to take away from her progress, I really do see some changes, she would have normally went off on me, cursing, ranting and raving and she didn't. She was able to control herself. That is a plus!! I can, however sense the rage right beneath the surface. And truthfully I am so done with this, I have no energy nor the desire to fight with her everyday. I have done all I can for her, there is simply nothing left for me to do except allow her to fall and hit the bottom so she can find her own way back up. I am mentally and emotionally drained.

    Does anyone have any opinions regarding her medications?:

    AM medications: Lithium Carbonate 900 mgs
    Haldol 5mgs
    Lamictal 75 mgs
    Cogentin 1 mg
    Geodon 80 mgs

    Noon medications: Haldol 5 mgs

    PM medications: Lithium Carbonate 600 mgs
    Haldol 5 mgs
    Cogentin 1 mg
    Geodon 80 mgs

    The plan is to titrate up on the Lamictal and once that is where it should be discontinue the Lithium and the Haldol. What do you think? I hate the haldol because it makes her sleepy but I think that is what is keeping her so calm. Opinions please????

    Thanks for listening. :)
  2. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    I sweetie we are in similar boats, I think I can see you from were I am floating! My difficult child I is 17 and counting, he turns 18 in June!
  3. I am so sorry that you are seeing a return to her old behavior so quickly.

  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi. Not surprised she isn't changed because she is ill...but on the medications, I think that's too much switching too fast. I've taken medications ever since age 23 and too many medications or switching too quickly always threw my chemicals out of whack and screwed me up. I'd go reeeeeeeaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllll slow.

    Other than that, I don't know what to tell you. If she is bipolar, I'm not convinced she can hold herself together no matter how much she tries. I was in my mid-thirties before I found medications that could settle me down enough that I didn't get the sudden blast to rage. And I'd had therapy for years and years. I'm sorry things are not going better. Take care.
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2008
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry it was a rough day. Fwiw, I think you handled it well when she said at 18 she wasn't going to follow her treatment plan. Hugs.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    If she is this wat with-in 24 hours of discharge, can you take her back to the psychiatric hospital? I know with Wizard we had a 6 day window after discharge that if he had returned to the same behaviors we could take him back and they would automatically re-admit him. Check your insurance and your doctor.

    I know you feel out of strength, but you only have until her 18th birthday to really address the problems (unless she will be living with you after age 18 - then she must live by your rules to stay in your home and under your pocketbook,).
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    bran, so sorry you're dealing with all this again so soon. Sending hugs.
  8. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Thanks so much you guys!! Last night went really well, she, her little brother and her cousin all had a sleepover and watched movies together. And the kids actually asked her to stay and hang out with them. My son asked my difficult child if she was going to be living with us again and she said yes, my son, to my surprise, was so excited. He was jumping up and down yelling "YES - YES". That made my daughter feel so good. She was really good last night.

    Today was the first day of partial. She was a bit agitated this morning because she didn't want to go. She was complaining about taking medications, being in all these programs and of course brought up the 18 thing again. So I said the same thing to her that I did yesterday, she can't live with me if she isn't going to comply with her treatment. She says she doesn't care and that she would leave when she is 18. YEAH we'll see!!!! The intake therapist explained to her that she would be drug tested, she was mad about that!!! Too bad!!! Overall it went pretty well. I will be picking her up at 1. Holding my breath and praying that the rest of the day goes okay. So far she hasn't cursed at any of us or even left the house without any of us. Not usual for her. She is usually running a muck, out all of the time and cursing us out all day long!! So I really do see positive changes, for now, I know it's coming!!!

    Thanks, I will keep you posted. God bless. :)
  9. Hope today goes well!
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    My son used to say that and I'd reply, "Okay."
    End of conversation. All of a sudden, since he went away to camp for a mo., he hasn't said it at all.
    It sounds like, even though you can sense the rage beneath, she is holding it in. She's sassy and argumentative, but not raging.
    I'd take the time to breathe deeply and just detach.
    Take care.
  11. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Sending support. I hope the medications help to stabalize her and things go well.
    Good Luck!