Ok, so maybe store bought cookies would be ok!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by nvts, Dec 14, 2007.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Ok, so I decide to start the "Teacher Gifts" baking yesterday. We've trialed all of the recipes, got the ingredients, we're ready to roll!


    It's a sleety, gross looking day outside, crank up the Christmas Carols, preheat the oven, take the butter out to soften and start getting to work.

    Ring. Ring. Oh boy, it's the phone! :smile:

    husband: Hi hon, I'm sorry I forgot to tell you, but we're out of crickets for the lizards (you don't WANT to know!), and I need you to pick them up.

    Me: No biggee. I'll go get them (I HATE this job because I feel sorry for the crickets). :frown:

    Turn off oven. Go to store. Get crickets. Feed lizards.

    Turn on oven.

    Ring. Ring. Oh boy, it's the phone. :smirk:

    husband: Hi Hon, forgot to put the ice melt on the steps and it's in the back of my jeep (that he's driving). Just borrow some from Dad, we don't want the mailman to get hurt.

    Me: No biggee.

    Turn off oven. Go to Dad's. Get ice melt. Sprinkle steps. Turn on oven.

    Take out the stand mixer. Put in butter, sugars, DAMMIT where's the brown sugar? 20 mins. later find it right in front of my face! Cream the stuff, add the vanilla. Wait. The vanilla doesn't smell right. What the heck? DAMMIT! I took out almond extract. Ok. Start from scratch, clean the stand mixer, soften butter.

    Ring...Ring..., Oh man...its...the...phone. :grrr:

    Surveyor: Do you have time for a quick survey?
    Me: no
    Blah, blah blah, Happy Holidays...hang up.

    Throw the butter in the nuker and soften with defrost at 1:00min.

    Stand mixer: butter, sugars, V-A-N-I-L-L-A, and cream it. Slowly mix in eggs 1 at a time. One, blend, blend, blend. Second, drop the shell and it shoots into the beaters.


    Start from scratch.


    Nuke the butter to soften. AAAAGGGGHHHH - should of hit defrost not "Time Cook". Butter soup.

    Nuke the last 2 sticks of butter on Defrost. 30 seconds. Put it in the stand mixer, start the mixer, hmmm, the butter is still a little hard...crank up the mixer, dump the sugar on top of the too hard butter, it goes into the beaters and the whole bowl goes flying off the stand onto the floor, into a million pieces.

    Oreo anyone?!!


  2. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


    (I'm in sooooo much trouble at work now) lol

    I think store bought cookies would be great! Oreo makes a lovely Christmas cookie with red centers - and NO crickets
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    You could always buy...grasshoppers....
  4. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    OMG -- I am so sorry but .... that's just hysterical.

    I would buy the store-bought cookies, put them in their appropriate containers and print out your description of trying to bake your cookies. The teachers will love the chuckle and they can always pass out the cookies to carolers and the like.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would buy the store-bought cookies, put them in their appropriate containers and print out your description of trying to bake your cookies. The teachers will love the chuckle and they can always pass out the cookies to carolers and the like. </div></div>

    Wonderful idea!!

    I'm sorry. I know that was NOT fun while you were going thru it but it had me so cracking up!!!

    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Well-Known Member

    But did you sit in butter?
  7. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I think printing your story (and the pictures!) and presenting it with store bought cookies like MB suggested is a delightful idea. It would certainly bring a chuckle in the teachers' lounge at break time and this time of year with the kids going nuts, I'm sure they'd welcome the giggle (and the oreos!).

  8. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Oh I so needed that laugh. That actually brought tears to my eyes. I am sure it wasn't funny as it happened but maybe it is for the best to do the store boughts. NO one should interrupt those.

  9. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

    Baking cookies will never be the same!

    It's not that I'm laughing at you. It's jut that you tell it so well. Honest.

    I like the idea of printing this off and giving it to the teahcer with the cookies. Try Cheryl's Cookies online. They even deliver.
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    DF was going to the store and he asked if there was anything I needed. I said Butter.....OH and crickets. He said confused "Crickets? for what?" and I said "One of the gals on the board posted a recipe, I'd like to try it." He stood there staring at me blankley, and then said again "Crickets, like bugs?" me going about my business said casually "Uh huh" and he said what kind of cookies are you making and I said

    Not cookies BUTTER soup with cricket garnish - and I walked away snorting again - Now I'm in trouble at home.

    I don't know if I can remember to do all the hokey pokey you did like throwing out salt and rescuing Godzilla from starvation (eww)
    but I'll make you proud. Or I'll make some third world country proud.

    :spaghetti: mmmmmmm grasshoppers - larger, crunchier.

    HAD to google and you won't believe it but there is a recipe book - with butter soup :surprise:

    That Ebay they have everything.

    Product search results for Butter soup with crickets
    Country Quick & Easy Cookbook $16.95 - Gooseberry Patch

  11. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Ok, I have to confess. I went to bed last night (after 2 a.m. - I was crawling around the floor trying to clean all of the butter and sugar off the floor and the bottom cabinets) and by the time I was done, I was laughing too.

    I baked some more today, and things went a lot smoother, but I've gotta say, I took the phone off the hook, fed the dogs, fish, lizards, kids and husband, put them on the bus and in the Jeep, before I even softened the butter.


    The schools all have my cell number, so if they REALLY needed me, they could get me.

    Kitty: Grasshoppers! I LOVE those cookies!
    Star: Sorry about the trouble at work and home (don't forget to add a lot of garlic in the Butter Soup with Crickets garnish!),

    Glad I could give you all a laugh - it DEFINATELY put life in its proper perspective. I've always lived by the rule - "If you can't laugh about it, it's not worth doing". This proved I was right!

  12. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member


    Thank you!


    For telling the story!


    I am glad your next attempt was more successful!
  13. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    For future reference: Gordon's Food Service makes wonderful cookies. Their 'cut outs' are better than homemade.

    Your story was way toooo funny. You're much more persistent that I would have been.
  14. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:!!! Thanks for making me laugh!!! I always love these kinds of posts!!! :rofl: WFEN

    P.S. And, I'm sorry - In Lisa's post about the weather that I just responded to a little while ago, I was sure your reference to softening the butter had to do with TM's mishap the other day... OK, I confess - that one still gets to me too!!! I'll never think of butter in the same way again!!! WFEN
  15. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I don't see why you couldn't have just passed out spoons with the cookies. It's not the presentation that matters, it's the way they taste. :smile:
  16. tinamarie1

    tinamarie1 Member

    omg, that is hysterical...and such an open invitation for Star to add commentary. the whole time i was reading it, i was hurrying just so i could read stars response. i was trying to think of one of those "priceless" mastercard commercials to go along with it.
  17. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Crickets - $1.79

    Extra butter and Eggs - $3.18

    New bowl for mixer - $36

    Giving up on the #$%^&* cookies, getting store bought and slamming the stupid things into festive freaking boxes before collapsing on the couch with a nice stiff :smile: - Priceless

  18. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    MUSTANG ====


    You should be in advertisement!

    Yup Tina - she left herself wide open (Just like the mouth on Gawdzzilra)

    Wait, wait - -

    Do you hear......the crickets????


    THAT is because they are in NVTS soup!
  19. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    ...doing little synchronized cricket swimming...
  20. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Big Bad Kitty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...doing little synchronized cricket swimming... </div></div>

    and their skin is soooo soft and smooooth!