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Parent Emeritus
ok, so up till now i have only mentioned my son the major Difficult Child.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 700540" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You are doing all you can do which is guiding her to get professional counseling. She is considered an adult. You can not control the outcome of what she does nor does worrying change anything been tjere/done that/ have the tee shirt. </p><p></p><p>I have a late 30s son who obsesses, ruminates, has horrible social skills and still calls me every day to fix his problems and, of course, nobody has problems as bad as him. He seriously thinks that. He calls me way too much for his age, but he has no friends and won't try to make any. So he suffers.</p><p></p><p>I learned there is nothing I can do. He rejects all help so he is miserable. Right now he is in legal litigation about his son and he is making himself expect the worse and be a basket case each day. Sad thing is, he WILL win this case. But he isn't 100% sure so he's making himself even physicall ill.</p><p></p><p> 0ther than listening when I am up to it, it is up to hIm to get help. He has a good job and can afford it, bit he has 1000 excuses why he can't go for help. Not one therapist is open in the evening after his work for example. Or its too far and he is phobic about driving in the big city. Yada Yada yada. Everything is a roadblock.</p><p></p><p>We listen when we are up for it and, in my case, I don't listen when I'm not up to it. </p><p></p><p>This is going on four years now that his ex keeps dragging him to court and she never wins, but he was always a worrier. He can also be VERY verbally abusive to me too. So I take it in doses I can handle. That's for both of us. If I listen all the time, he will never get help or make friends.....and I might jump off a cliff lol. Not really.</p><p></p><p>My other three kids are angels who hate how he treats me and they don't interact so he blew it with them too. He has his dad, my ex, me and his eight year old son who he adores. But that's all he has.</p><p></p><p>You can't help your daughter. She has to do it. Like I can't help my son.</p><p></p><p>Sucks sometimes, buT this is their lives and we can see the train wreck sometimes but can not tell an unwilling petson to get off the train tracks.</p><p></p><p>I am very sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 700540, member: 1550"] You are doing all you can do which is guiding her to get professional counseling. She is considered an adult. You can not control the outcome of what she does nor does worrying change anything been tjere/done that/ have the tee shirt. I have a late 30s son who obsesses, ruminates, has horrible social skills and still calls me every day to fix his problems and, of course, nobody has problems as bad as him. He seriously thinks that. He calls me way too much for his age, but he has no friends and won't try to make any. So he suffers. I learned there is nothing I can do. He rejects all help so he is miserable. Right now he is in legal litigation about his son and he is making himself expect the worse and be a basket case each day. Sad thing is, he WILL win this case. But he isn't 100% sure so he's making himself even physicall ill. 0ther than listening when I am up to it, it is up to hIm to get help. He has a good job and can afford it, bit he has 1000 excuses why he can't go for help. Not one therapist is open in the evening after his work for example. Or its too far and he is phobic about driving in the big city. Yada Yada yada. Everything is a roadblock. We listen when we are up for it and, in my case, I don't listen when I'm not up to it. This is going on four years now that his ex keeps dragging him to court and she never wins, but he was always a worrier. He can also be VERY verbally abusive to me too. So I take it in doses I can handle. That's for both of us. If I listen all the time, he will never get help or make friends.....and I might jump off a cliff lol. Not really. My other three kids are angels who hate how he treats me and they don't interact so he blew it with them too. He has his dad, my ex, me and his eight year old son who he adores. But that's all he has. You can't help your daughter. She has to do it. Like I can't help my son. Sucks sometimes, buT this is their lives and we can see the train wreck sometimes but can not tell an unwilling petson to get off the train tracks. I am very sorry. [/QUOTE]
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ok, so up till now i have only mentioned my son the major Difficult Child.
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