Ok, something must be up.....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Nov 19, 2008.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I went to an iep meeting this afternoon. This is the first we've had this year even though I'd been wanting one since early Oct. and I couldn't let them reschedule or put it off any longer due to difficult child missing so much school and knowing it would be turned over to courts soon and he's on probation.

    Well, this was a very useful iep meeting and I (and difficult child although he didn't attend) rec'd so much support and they are just more than willing to help. (CHOKE- it wasn't that long ago that I was in there telling them about my conversations with a Special Education attny). The principal wrote a great letter of recommendation for difficult child to take to court this past June, but I thought his lack of attendence and tardies this year would surely throw her over the edge. She said I could just email her and copy the sd cm when difficult child had trouble getting up and going to school and she'd make sure it got written as an excused absence. Also, this method means that difficult child doesn't have to know that I'm vouching for him because I was concerned about calling in saying he's sick and him getting the impression that he could just refuse to go to school whenever he felt like it. The principal said difficult child's behavior was great so far this year (no board jinx pleeeaaaase) and that he's getting along well and they really like him and that she would talk to PO and put a good word in if it would help.

    I think the biggest difference in the school personnel came when they realized that this isn't just "bad" or defiant behavior in difficult child and I'm not a mom just trying to cover for a delinquent kid or make excuses for him. Actually, that is what the principal has told me a couple of times this past year and I can't begin to tell you how working with them has improved since then. I can't believe the head-banging I used to have to go through with the sd before. I don't know if it applies in most situations, but in ours, I guess the big problem was that they thought difficult child was just a bad kid and I was making excuses. So, I'd just like to throw out there to everyone else who is having problems with the sd- don't give up the fight, make sure they know that you won't, but take plenty of "evidence" (letters from psychiatrist, etc) that your difficult child has a valid issue. Also, I took difficult child in for a couple of meetings with admin staff to work on issues he had by CPS and that seemed to help.

    Anyway, this on top of the meeting with the PO on Mon. has me convinced that something horrible must be right around the corner. LOL! Like- oh, I don't know- ....is he** freezing over??
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2008
  2. jal

    jal Member

    Congrats! When it works it works. Hold on to the fact they are working with you. When they work with you it can truely be a wonderful relationship of communication and brainstorming to help our difficult child's. husband and I our in the rare percentage of having had a wonderful experience with our SD, but when you get the right mix every one wins, espcially our difficult child's. Way To Go!
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Keeping fingers crossed that nothing is freezing over, and that things are finally beginning to happen for you the way they're supposed to.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Cool! Congrats! I hope it continues on a bright path. You've done a lot of work and deserve to reap the rewards.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I remember all the struggle you had with the school. This is WONDERFUL news!!! I think it is just all that karma returning your wonderful spirit to you! (Remember, Mom always said G*d would get you for that. This MUST be what it means!)

    I think it is great that they realize he has true issues, and that you are a parent trying to help her kid, not enable problems with him.

    You sure were overdue for a good streak. Enjoy it!

    many hugs,

  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    thank you jal, KTMOm, Terry, and Susie! I really need for difficult child to have some support right now- I guess I feel supported when he does. I know he's pushing limits, but I really can understand when he sleeps 10 hours and still feels like he can't muster enough energy to face the day. I still push him to get up and do something- to try the best he can- and I don;'t want him thinking that he has some excuse that no one else in the world has. But, I do feel that way myself lately so I know that it is very hard.

    He's cycling now- I can tell because yesterday when I came home from work he had been cleaning the kitchen and putting it in "tip-top" shape. difficult child cleans excessively when he is hypomanic. Then, today he went to school on time and came home talking excessive- and showing me all he accomplished in school today. I'm glaad to get the reminder myself that he can't help this illness, and that it is a real illness, but I am pained every time that I have to accept it all over again. That I can't just fuss at him or ground him and make him try a little harder and then it will all be gone forever....

    I'm going to post something about a therapist for myself in the WC, but I want everyone to know that I apologize for not responding to others' so much lately... everyone is still in my thoughts and I will try to make up for it...
  7. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    congrats on such a break through! (can ya rub the good decision making on to me for our manifestation meeting?? LOL) It's nice to hear when an sd that's trying to make it work for a student.
  8. ML

    ML Guest

    Nothing bad will happen: You were due a break and so was difficult child. I'm so glad it was a productive meeting. Having the school system work on the same team as us is HUGE. This is very great news. Happy Thanksgiving to you! ML
  9. debi

    debi New Member

    That is great!! Isn't it nice when something finally goes your way in all these struggles?
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You deserve to have some things going your way! Glad the school is being supportive!
  11. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    It isn't as if you haven't busted your rump for this! You do deserve some good! It is about time!!!
    Good for them! I hope they keep up on their word.
  12. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    It just goes to show - you fight hard, you worry inside that you are making permanent enemies but your child is more important - and BECAUSE of your struggle (because if you had done nothing, there would have been no improvement) you find things turning out better than you could have dreamed.

    You done good, girl.

    Everyone else - it might not turn out to be as good as this; but it might. And how much worse can it get, if you are too afraid to step in and be an advocate for your child?

    A lesson for us all.

  13. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Things are a changin'........maybe? I, too, had an IEP meeting with the intermediate school yesterday. I don't know how to tell you the difference in the admin from elementary to intermediate! (Admin was {{horrid}}} in elementary.) My difficult child, academically, has been thriving last year and this year. Granted, he's in a social development class, but so be it. It's obviously what he's needed all along. Yesterday, the admin was unbelievably supportive and even had some suggestions to help rather than it all being ME fighting for things.

    Way to go, klmno!!!!
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thanks everyone!! And Marg, for one, brings up a good point for the new ones here to think about- if we don't take a stand for our kids, the sd will probably not make the effort.

    I wonder if I should make sure that his "excused absences" are addressed in the iep?