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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 646165" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>A friend of mine, who adopted two kids who were as crazed as your son, did call the cops when her son got violent, at all ages. That turned out good because the police started to know the child and the family and when it turned out he got worse and really needed help he was able to live in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He hasn't been back home since then. I think he was about eleven when he left. Now his situation was a little different, although he was violent, vile, and nobody could diagnose him. His birthmother had been schizophrenic and he also obviously had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (interestingly his sister responded GREAT to outpatient and is a wonderful young woman now, but I digress). This child admitted he was attracted to young girls and he had a six year old sister so he was taken to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and only allowed to come home with extreme supervised visits. This freed up the entire family, however there were no extended relatives involved, just her husband and three other children. Things calmed down once he was gone. I don't believe she ever felt guilty. She knew she could not help him at home...he was getting worse...and she didn't want to put her other younger daughter at risk.</p><p></p><p>Sadly, we will never know how she feels about this today. I never posted this as it was too hard for me, but she died at age forty-two a few weeks ago. Now she smoked and they say it was a blood clot. Many think it was the stress too. I don't, but it is floating around there. She spent twelve years trying to help this wild almost feral child and at the same time care for her other kids. AND this was with a wonderful husband who HELPED her as much as he could, but he did work on the road a lot as he drives a train.</p><p></p><p>As always, I ask you to lighten your load. You have way too much on your plate. If it isn't one person it is another. Find help for all those who can get it and chill down so you can regain your mental and physical health and live a normal life. Every time I hear of your troubles all I can think of is that you must be a very strong person to survive all this, however you can't be a HAPPY person.</p><p></p><p>From now on, if your son gets violent, CALL THE COPS. That is what got this boy into Residential Treatment Center (RTC). They did not arrest such a young boy. They took him for help. The last I heard from her, he still did not have one final diagnosis, although schizoaffective and autism were both suspected (as well as the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)). They have not figured it out yet and maybe they never will. But his grieving father, who does not need this boy's chaos, and the boy's grieving siblings, who had a remarkable mother, can try to get their lives together in peace. Have you ever experienced peace? It is awesome. I don't think I felt true peace until I hit my 50's. I was working on it in my 40s! I don't know your age, but it's never too early to make your life better.</p><p></p><p>Don't ask your family about the cops. Just do it. What they think DOES NOT MATTER. YOU are the parent. YOU need the help. Don't even engage your family about your son. Just say, "I decided I don't want to talk about my treatment regarding (his name) anymore. Not with anyone. Sorry." Then do it. That will also destress you as they learn not to ask questions because they will get no answers. If they criticize your choices, walk away, walk away, walk away.</p><p></p><p>It's your time now. HUgs!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 646165, member: 1550"] A friend of mine, who adopted two kids who were as crazed as your son, did call the cops when her son got violent, at all ages. That turned out good because the police started to know the child and the family and when it turned out he got worse and really needed help he was able to live in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He hasn't been back home since then. I think he was about eleven when he left. Now his situation was a little different, although he was violent, vile, and nobody could diagnose him. His birthmother had been schizophrenic and he also obviously had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (interestingly his sister responded GREAT to outpatient and is a wonderful young woman now, but I digress). This child admitted he was attracted to young girls and he had a six year old sister so he was taken to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and only allowed to come home with extreme supervised visits. This freed up the entire family, however there were no extended relatives involved, just her husband and three other children. Things calmed down once he was gone. I don't believe she ever felt guilty. She knew she could not help him at home...he was getting worse...and she didn't want to put her other younger daughter at risk. Sadly, we will never know how she feels about this today. I never posted this as it was too hard for me, but she died at age forty-two a few weeks ago. Now she smoked and they say it was a blood clot. Many think it was the stress too. I don't, but it is floating around there. She spent twelve years trying to help this wild almost feral child and at the same time care for her other kids. AND this was with a wonderful husband who HELPED her as much as he could, but he did work on the road a lot as he drives a train. As always, I ask you to lighten your load. You have way too much on your plate. If it isn't one person it is another. Find help for all those who can get it and chill down so you can regain your mental and physical health and live a normal life. Every time I hear of your troubles all I can think of is that you must be a very strong person to survive all this, however you can't be a HAPPY person. From now on, if your son gets violent, CALL THE COPS. That is what got this boy into Residential Treatment Center (RTC). They did not arrest such a young boy. They took him for help. The last I heard from her, he still did not have one final diagnosis, although schizoaffective and autism were both suspected (as well as the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)). They have not figured it out yet and maybe they never will. But his grieving father, who does not need this boy's chaos, and the boy's grieving siblings, who had a remarkable mother, can try to get their lives together in peace. Have you ever experienced peace? It is awesome. I don't think I felt true peace until I hit my 50's. I was working on it in my 40s! I don't know your age, but it's never too early to make your life better. Don't ask your family about the cops. Just do it. What they think DOES NOT MATTER. YOU are the parent. YOU need the help. Don't even engage your family about your son. Just say, "I decided I don't want to talk about my treatment regarding (his name) anymore. Not with anyone. Sorry." Then do it. That will also destress you as they learn not to ask questions because they will get no answers. If they criticize your choices, walk away, walk away, walk away. It's your time now. HUgs!!!! [/QUOTE]
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