OK Warrior Moms - I Need to Devise a Plan...

KTMom91

Well-Known Member
My mother did this same thing...telling Miss KT that she could always go there since I was so awful. Then my mother was ticked at me when Miss KT moved in. I handed over the child support Useless Boy's mother was paying me, and it was a very pleasant nine months.

I completely agree with Star. You want to document that difficult child is not living in your home, especially since you are still legally responsible for her. Enjoy your peaceful quiet!
 

april1974

New Member
I went through this with daughter, she went through the terrible teens from 13-17, was not pretty. Me & her dad had joint custody, then she left her dads and moved solely with me, didn't like my rules, left my home for my parents, I begged them not to take her in, but they did, that didn't last long they kicked her out, so she went to her friends house and that didn't last long(even though the mom was easy going & it was a flop house, she was an extra body that she couldn't look after) during all of this I had her in councelling with cdc and finally she came back and then to her dad's, and now is easy child, 20 and in college, graduated with honors, health nut, and a joy to be with♥ But.....it was rough for a long time, at one of her suspensions from high school I decided I would home school her, the twins were babies(so think of teen stress + looking after 2 premature babies), daughter BEGGED me to let her go back to school, the school BEGGED me to give her one more chance, so we did. There were still bumps and bruises along the way but we muddled through and I couldn't be more proud of her.

Do not pay child support, your daughter has a home, you didn't kick her out and if this women wants to let her live there than she can pay for her too. I wouldn't give her one dime. You can't afford her, then send her home and don't offer what you can't give. Just my 2 cents.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Where we live - the State can make provisions to pay a foster parent. Daisy wouldn't have to shell out one thin dime. Foster's make about $50 a week plus (depending on if they are therapeutic or not) in SC. FYI. However I would NOT be adverse to handing someone a couple bucks and saying "have at it". Plus I think once your daughter is out of your house in those instances? SHE (foster Mother) would also qualify to get food stamps FOR daughter. Not sure but think so.

Just thinking out loud. No one knows how bad it is with anyone elses child until they have walked in their moccasians......and in our case I would have worked a second and third job.....OH hey wait I did.
 
P

PatriotsGirl

Guest
If my difficult child was ever here when she lived here, I would have happily paid for her to live somewhere else. Even at this point, I would rather pay for her to live somewhere than be back here. But she hasn't asked to come back here, and hasn't asked me for a thing so I am not going to offer up anything. But I totally understand how you feel!! My house is SO different now. I love my home. I love being home. I used to dread coming home when she was here. It's amazing how different the energy here is now. She really does change the energy of a room just by being in it - and not in a positive way. Very negative energy. *shudder*
I do miss her deeply at times. I always let her know that I love her and I am here should she decide she will take rehab and sober living.
 

DaisyFace

Love me...Love me not
Thank you all so much! There are lots of good ideas here...

husband and I went through the threads and read the responses and had a long discussion about how we should handle this.

We have decided that difficult child is welcome to come back home under the following conditions:

1) She must telephone husband and apologize for her behavior (especially the F.U. note she wrote)

2) She must sit down with husband and a counselor to discuss the new household rules and expectations.

3) She must sign a contract agreeing to the new terms.

4) Upon moving back home - she will help "clean up" her bedroom...removing all the posters, trash, food, dirty clothing - PLUS surrender all the "fun" stuff which will have to be earned back later....and then help repair all the damages to the walls and carpeting.

....

AND I had a discussion with this other Mom - but I think that's a new thread...
 

april1974

New Member
G/L and I hope it all works out for you. We made daughter sign a contract but it meant nothing to her and she just rolled her eyes, but we did what we thought was right at the time. I think with teens part of it is their brains aren't fully developed and they don't think consequences and then you add a disorder on top of it and look out, it's a recipe for major disaster. Here in Canada we don't have rehabs, boot camps etc so we had to manage on our own. There are a few hospitals that do rehab but they have to be very serious to get in and daughter wasn't "bad" enough to warrant being locked up.
 
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