Jena, sweetie........
I'm not judging you at all. Please believe that. But I've raised 2 teen girls. One difficult child and one easy child. I'm speaking from experience.
Ok. So daughter has stuffed feelings. (I know how that is, used to do it myself) BUT, and this is important, BUT if you let her disrespect your authority as parent.....you're headed down a mega difficult child road and I don't think you want to go there.
Sure it's easy for a teen to say they "don't care" when you list off punishments. And they can even look the part. (I swear they get with their friends and practice this carp) And heck, she may even think she means it, too. But once you put into force concequences for her behavior/attitude.....it will be a different story. Hence the "wake up call" Suzie mentioned.
easy child used to spout not only that she didn't care what I did to her, but that she had nothing for me to take away as she had no life to begin with. (teens are all about drama by the way) Once her phone, computer, after school activities -including sports-, and even her part time job were removed.........and all she got to do was go to and from school period......Well let's just say she held out for about 2 weeks with the big time I don't care/mad at the world attitude.......Third week cracks began to appear in her wall...by the 4 and 5th week attitude was beginning to disappear...although it would rear it's ugly head occasionally.....6th week in.......easy child was back to her old self, except for begging me to lift the punishment. By the 8th week no more begging and she was determined to show me I could trust her again.
I was tempted to lift it at that point, but stuck to it because I was afraid if I didn't I'd wind back at square 1.
No you can't make her cooperate with therapy. But you can make her life miserable (as she thinks it is) until she chooses to cooperate.
This was Nichole. Flat out almost as stubborn as I am. (and that's saying something) She'd refuse to go. I'd tell her she either went willingly or with me dragging her kicking and screaming the whole way, which would probably result in her being admitted somewhere. She went, defiant as hades. Week after week. BUT I told the therapist going in that she wouldn't be conducting sessions with Nichole alone. Half session was with me in there, other half was them alone. Why? Cause Nichole wouldn't open her mouth. So I told therapist what had gone on during the week and started the ball rolling.
Snarls and snapping teeth......and a terrific therapist who was also the mom of teens....Nichole reluctantly began to talk.
Maybe it's unconventional. When it comes to my kids I don't care.
Maybe this isn't the way for you and your easy child. But you've got to sit down and come up with a plan. Then put it into action.
The way I always saw it was that I was my kids teacher and protector (even from themselves if need be)........whether they hated me for it or not. And later......they really don't.
(((hugs)))