Old women questions

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Nov 7, 2008.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Ok, this is really embarressing but I have some women questions.

    Men- stop reading now if you don't want to know.

    So, a couple of years ago I noticed major PMS'ing. Then the TOM started lasting shorter periods of time. Then the past six months, I noticed my hormones are bouncing off the walls. Then, the TOM just stopped coming at all. Hormones are still bouncing off the walls. Is this normal? And, not that I plan on doing anything but just to be sure, is it a guarantee that if TOM stops that pregnancy cannot happen? I'm just asking because well, hormones are bouncing off the walls. And, by the way, does that stop?
  2. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    We will all have different stories to tell, I think. You should talk to a doctor about it because there can be problems hidden behind a menopausal facade. My mother observed symptoms like this when she was 44, her periods stopped fairly suddenly and she felt different, a bit moody, very tired and then noticed some weight gain. She finally went to the doctor after some months, to be told she was 6 months pregnant. With me.

    As we get older our fertility wanes. By the time we're menopausal, we're almost infertile. Almost. But there are still enough people out there who fell pregnant, thinking it was no longer possible. If your period is so irregular that you're not sure if you've already had your last one say, six months ago, then you CAN'T assume you're no longer fertile. You never know when one last straggling egg wakes up sluggishly and decides to make one last hurrah. You will only know about it two weeks later IF it doesn't get fertilised in the meantime.

    My best friend has been on Depo shots for years. She's older than me, hasn't had a normal period for years, her youngest child is 30. But last week she got a period. Not enough to be full-on, she said, just enough to be a blasted nuisance and remind her she still needs to be careful.

    I had to go on HRT because for me, periods weren't tapering off but instead were turning up too often, for too long and were far too "enthusiastic". It was a sudden onset for me - I had normal cycles which you could almost set your watch by, until I turned 50. Then everything went crazy. I also was rapidly becoming anaemic and since I can't take iron, I had to make it stop. I had no "bouncing off the walls" symptoms, the HRT was only needed to shut the heavy periods down which they did, like shutting off a tap. It was that fast - I took the first tablet and got relief within a couple of hours.

    But there were problems which began to show up - my previously perfect blood pressure began to rise. So after nearly 2 years, I talked to my GP. Surely the heavy period problem had passed? It was a peri-menopause issue, maybe it was time to see what the lie of the land was (hormonally) now? So she made me wean off the HRT and although while weaning off I had a couple of rather heavy periods, I had nothing of the scale I'd had before. And since weaning off, I've had one period like my friend's last week. That was almost a year ago.

    I never had PMT and maybe that's why I haven't had any hormonal moodiness. But I think I'm noticing some "tropical moments" beginning. It's hard to tell, I do have some other health problems which could be disguising it.

    So in summary - get yourself checked out. You COULD be in peri-menopause which lasts a varying time before you go into full menopause. In the meantime, you DO need to take precautions against the outside change of getting pregnant. It DOES happen and because of how things are now, it is much more difficult to predict. If you go on HRT it fixes a lot of the problems but do keep an eye on your blood pressure.

    There are other issues such as the health and condition of your tissues, your youthfulness in various parts of your body (bones, for example) but there are ways to deal with this too including topical hormones and calcium supplements. Again, you need help to know what to do in your particular case and to make sure you're not dealing with a subtle nasty.

    It does stop. When really depends on your body. Talk to other females in your line of descent and find out how things were for them.

    If for some reason you do not welcome peri-menopause and want another baby, now is also the time to discuss things with your doctor, while there is still an outside chance. Some hormonal tweaking may be required but it can be done.

    Think back to when it all started for you. Think back to how it was for you and how it was for other girls you knew. As different as you all were form each other then, it is as different now, each of us form one another. And yet we all have to go through it each in our own way and we can sympathise with the things we share in common.

    Welcome to the sisterhood!

  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I agree with Marguerite. Get to the doctor and get checked out.
    Yes,yes,yes you can get pregnant with peri menopausal. Lots of surprise babies for women in the days before because and even now. My mom's generation called them "change of life" babies. Sort of life;s little gift before you become old(their thinking)

    If pregnancy is not what you want, you need to take precautions. In the meantime, get checked to make sure it's menopause is what you are dealing with.
  4. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Good advice. I was never a 'tracker' of TOM things but have done so recently. I had no idea how weird I was. hahaha... After being 2 months overdue I nearly had a heart attack when researching on the web women who become pregnant during menapause and who have had their tubes tied. Fortunately my little friend visited me recently and all is good.

    I've been going through this for years just like my mom. I seem to follow in her path.

  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Normal. But get checked out to be certain peri menepause is what is going on. And make sure you're on because if you don't want to get pregnant.

    Like my mom.....my perimenepause was short. Not short for me......just in comparison with other women. I was fortunate to get thru it in about 2 yrs from start to finish. I am now on the other side. And most certainly not complaining. Except for the beard that keeps trying to grow on my face. ugh

    I was a hormonal mess in the thick of it. (my family learned to spot it and run) But for me the hot flashes were nearly too much to bare. Drove me crazy.

  6. Mayapple5

    Mayapple5 New Member

    I had my last full TOM over 10 years ago, I"m only 56. It stopped slowly. I went on HRT for about a year, then stopped. But I couldn't stand the hot flashes, they kept me a wake at night, I would wake up drenched and had to change pj's and move to the couch, because the bed was so wet. I stopped because of side affects I didn't like. I have been back on the HRT for about 3 months again. When does the stop? My mom never took anything, she sailed right through with no problems. My sister and I haven't been so lucky.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    My Grandma thought she was all done with periods. Then she had my mom, 15 years after her youngest child! So don't take chances with birth control!!! Gma was 2 YEARS out from her last period when she got preg with my mom!
    Talk to your doctor, make SURE it is just perimenopause. You really don't want to take chances that it is something else.

    I have heard that evening primrose oil and black cohosh are both helpful with perimenopause symptoms.
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thanks everyone! At least I feel somewhat normal now! I'm not doing anything that could make me pregnant right now- I'm not even dating. But, I was just curious in case someone did come along in the future. Lord knows, I DO NOT want to take ANY chance at this stage in life. Mine had been tapering off for a couple of years. My GP had told me that this was pretty normal and on schedule and a couple of years ago she gave me a full physical with blood work and all. I'm just glad it's ending- the PMS'ing had gotten to a point where I was not only a time bomb for a week a month, but I was also physically miserable. Now, I'm just a ball of hormones bouncing around, LOL!
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I was trying to help - you know, cause that's how I am, but realized I'm the baby of the group at 21 and have nothing to offer........

    I heard a joke - how do you make a hormone? ..........Don't pay her.

    SO stop paying. :surprise::tongue:
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Menopause is actually when you are done, not the time during which you are stopping. Until you have gone 12 months without TOM, you are still fertile. Start marking that calendar...
  11. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Star...someone who is close backside her. Please. A good whop on the head.

    Actually, thank you for the first chuckle of the day and it's only 4pm.

  12. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    What does "TOM" stand for?
  13. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Time of Month
  14. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Okay....I just couldn't figure that out. Thanks.
  15. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Or it could be TOM, the neighbor who pops by every now and then. My bad.

    (slinking to corner)
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Well tell TOM not to PAY her.......(going to corner also) FUN - a playmate! :D
  17. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Just as I'm reading this, I've got the TV on and Miriam Margulies (who plays Professor Sprout in the Harry Potter films) is on, talking about Charles Dickens. It reminder me of an interview she did about a year ago at most on Aussie TV, an interview with Andrew Denton (who is brilliant at drawing out surprising things form a guest). In the interview she was talking about improvising and as an example, acted out a period which she said was like a naughty schoolgirl, giggling, "I bet you didn't expect ME to turn up on your holidays!"


  18. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Ladies, you are a riot!! Anyway, the board jinx caught up with me- now I have to change the mark on the calendar to wait a year from now. :(

    I guess is a good thing that I didn't rush out to do anything last week!
  19. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Geez. First it's Raoul, then Aussie Boy, now TOM. (Notice the caps.)

    Let's see. TOM lives 3 doors down in any city. He's about 65 or so, sporting a belly of an 8 month pregnancy and missing a tooth or two. He's a mailman and REALLY likes to personally deliver your mail. It's that little bit of extra customer service that the US Postal Service loves to provide.

    Where you went wrong was offering the fresh baked donut to TOM. Nice gesture, but now TOM will be givng you doubles of junk mail just so he can see you. "Sorry, couldn't fit it in the mailbox so I personally delivered it."

    Alright Star...move over. Corner is getting crowded.