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Parent Emeritus
OMG, his plan is to return here...
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 657466" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>I am sorry to hear that, BG. I know very well that feeling of dis-ease, unrest and panic that comes when we know our DCs might show up on our doorsteps.</p><p></p><p>And what is it about ex-girlfriend's mothers? Why are they the softest touch? My Difficult Child got not one but TWO cross-country fares paid by ex-girlfriend's mother, one TO the west coast and one a few days later when he decided he didn't like it out there.</p><p></p><p>My first instinct is to follow Cedar's advice. She is always spot-on, in my experience. Make sure you have yourself protected, just for your own peace of mind.</p><p></p><p>My 2nd impression is that the homecoming he expects is quite possibly a gross exaggeration. At least in my DCs case, he assumed that everyone "back home" was going to welcome him back with open arms, even though those bridges had long since burned down and the ashes blown away. I wonder if the same is true in your DCs case. I think your gut instinct is correct in firmly setting your boundaries, both with your friend and with Difficult Child directly. </p><p></p><p>And yes, it goes against what we are "supposed" to do. But we live in the rabbit hole now. We do what we have to do to keep our boundaries intact.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you are going through it, BG. That feeling of impending doom is awful. I am glad that you are pre-empting as much of it as you can.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 657466, member: 17720"] I am sorry to hear that, BG. I know very well that feeling of dis-ease, unrest and panic that comes when we know our DCs might show up on our doorsteps. And what is it about ex-girlfriend's mothers? Why are they the softest touch? My Difficult Child got not one but TWO cross-country fares paid by ex-girlfriend's mother, one TO the west coast and one a few days later when he decided he didn't like it out there. My first instinct is to follow Cedar's advice. She is always spot-on, in my experience. Make sure you have yourself protected, just for your own peace of mind. My 2nd impression is that the homecoming he expects is quite possibly a gross exaggeration. At least in my DCs case, he assumed that everyone "back home" was going to welcome him back with open arms, even though those bridges had long since burned down and the ashes blown away. I wonder if the same is true in your DCs case. I think your gut instinct is correct in firmly setting your boundaries, both with your friend and with Difficult Child directly. And yes, it goes against what we are "supposed" to do. But we live in the rabbit hole now. We do what we have to do to keep our boundaries intact. I'm sorry you are going through it, BG. That feeling of impending doom is awful. I am glad that you are pre-empting as much of it as you can. [/QUOTE]
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OMG, his plan is to return here...
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