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<blockquote data-quote="Confused" data-source="post: 648958" data-attributes="member: 18100"><p><strong>Midwest</strong>, I dont feel that he has attachment disorder. I mean, from what Im reading, its not what happened. I feel we bonded, as he bonded with my dad. ( same with daughter) Ok so this is what I found on the net...and NONE of these ever happened, with either child. We were those parents that the second they cried we ran over checked them, loved them , changed them, played, held etc. Neither showed any of the insecure attachment either. In fact I asked him why he insist to go to grandpas with me and I asked is it because a new place to sleep like a vacation? he said yes and he wants to be with me. </p><p></p><p>You said "and I believe it is probably a physical cause" like what? "I give him three years and he'll be in residential unless he is diagnosed fast and given tons of intervention. I do know it is frustrating when they only act out with us. However, this "friend", who's advice often doesn't sound very friend like, is wrong. The kids act out on those they are SURE love them. They don't do it to strangers because they know they don't. But they can't hold it in forever"---- </p><p> Im trying to get him in and treated now, Im sacred for him. Just yesterday I was flipping through scary photos of these murders when they were kids and it just scares me what if my son loses his temper and cant stop,or hes in jail non stop for abuse? Im scared like crazy and am trying to help him. I do feel like if its just with us, its because of us. And I see her point she said "he couldn't control it hed be this way everywhere, so he can control it. " Hes know her his whole life and has seen her daily almost, and he claims he knows she loves him. She says she loves him and my daughter and is willing to take custody if anything ever happened to me. He knows this. They have medicaid so many places should be able to help, its just the matter of time and the right place I don't know. </p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>What causes reactive attachment disorder and other attachment problems?</strong></span></p><p>Reactive attachment disorder and other attachment problems occur when children have been unable to consistently connect with a parent or primary caregiver. This can happen for many reasons:</p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">A baby cries and no one responds or offers comfort.<br /> </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">A baby is hungry or wet, and they aren’t attended to for hours.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">No one looks at, talks to, or smiles at the baby, so the baby feels alone.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">A young child gets attention only by acting out or displaying other extreme behaviors.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">A young child or baby is mistreated or abused.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Sometimes the child’s needs are met and sometimes they aren’t. The child never knows what to expect.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">The infant or young child is hospitalized or separated from his or her parents.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">A baby or young child is moved from one caregiver to another (can be the result of adoption, foster care, or the loss of a parent).</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">The parent is emotionally unavailable because of depression, an illness, or a substance abuse problem.</li> </ul><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Signs and symptoms of insecure attachment in infants:</strong></span></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Avoids eye contact</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Doesn’t smile</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Doesn’t reach out to be picked up</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Rejects your efforts to calm, soothe, and connect</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Doesn’t seem to notice or care when you leave them alone</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Cries inconsolably</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Doesn’t coo or make sounds</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Doesn’t follow you with his or her eyes</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Isn’t interested in playing interactive games or playing with toys</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Spend a lot of time rocking or comforting themselves</li> </ul><p></p><p></p><p><strong>bunny</strong>- no hes currently not with the therapist, been trying to get him diagnosed but should be soon. When he did speak with one the therapist said its all me on the third visit let my son grow. Let him grow? I didnt understand he said let him be a kid and do things, sports, school etc. Umm he was in mini sports, parks, parties, all day school, functions, kids on the block, vacations, museums, etc etc!!! I did give him little freedom based on age and behavior! Yikes that counselor! </p><p></p><p></p><p><strong>Wiped Out</strong>- must of been scary for you all and him, but glad hes gotten help and he got that medicaid. Yes, my kids have their medicaid, food stamps, had WIC so it helps, just takes a while! I think it also took me a while because I was listening that it was all my and my dads fault to. I knew when my son was 1 1/2( when I came on here I think) that something wasnt right- he was too moody, too many long tantrums and every year it just got worse. It was all the same every year, " he has speech issues, hes a boy, your daughter is 6 years older so your getting used to being a mom again, your learning to handle two kids now, " yikes really I thought? He of course was a hard pregnancy as well as up 4 times a night from day one! So should I say since I was prego? haha poor son!! But oddly the baby I lost was a boy, the boys I had bad pregnancy.. missing a chromosome or too many type issue? Genes as you all say? I don't know....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Confused, post: 648958, member: 18100"] [B]Midwest[/B], I dont feel that he has attachment disorder. I mean, from what Im reading, its not what happened. I feel we bonded, as he bonded with my dad. ( same with daughter) Ok so this is what I found on the net...and NONE of these ever happened, with either child. We were those parents that the second they cried we ran over checked them, loved them , changed them, played, held etc. Neither showed any of the insecure attachment either. In fact I asked him why he insist to go to grandpas with me and I asked is it because a new place to sleep like a vacation? he said yes and he wants to be with me. You said "and I believe it is probably a physical cause" like what? "I give him three years and he'll be in residential unless he is diagnosed fast and given tons of intervention. I do know it is frustrating when they only act out with us. However, this "friend", who's advice often doesn't sound very friend like, is wrong. The kids act out on those they are SURE love them. They don't do it to strangers because they know they don't. But they can't hold it in forever"---- Im trying to get him in and treated now, Im sacred for him. Just yesterday I was flipping through scary photos of these murders when they were kids and it just scares me what if my son loses his temper and cant stop,or hes in jail non stop for abuse? Im scared like crazy and am trying to help him. I do feel like if its just with us, its because of us. And I see her point she said "he couldn't control it hed be this way everywhere, so he can control it. " Hes know her his whole life and has seen her daily almost, and he claims he knows she loves him. She says she loves him and my daughter and is willing to take custody if anything ever happened to me. He knows this. They have medicaid so many places should be able to help, its just the matter of time and the right place I don't know. [SIZE=4][B]What causes reactive attachment disorder and other attachment problems?[/B][/SIZE] Reactive attachment disorder and other attachment problems occur when children have been unable to consistently connect with a parent or primary caregiver. This can happen for many reasons: [LIST] [*]A baby cries and no one responds or offers comfort. [*]A baby is hungry or wet, and they aren’t attended to for hours. [*]No one looks at, talks to, or smiles at the baby, so the baby feels alone. [*]A young child gets attention only by acting out or displaying other extreme behaviors. [*]A young child or baby is mistreated or abused. [*]Sometimes the child’s needs are met and sometimes they aren’t. The child never knows what to expect. [*]The infant or young child is hospitalized or separated from his or her parents. [*]A baby or young child is moved from one caregiver to another (can be the result of adoption, foster care, or the loss of a parent). [*]The parent is emotionally unavailable because of depression, an illness, or a substance abuse problem. [/LIST] [SIZE=4][B]Signs and symptoms of insecure attachment in infants:[/B][/SIZE] [LIST] [*]Avoids eye contact [*]Doesn’t smile [*]Doesn’t reach out to be picked up [*]Rejects your efforts to calm, soothe, and connect [*]Doesn’t seem to notice or care when you leave them alone [*]Cries inconsolably [*]Doesn’t coo or make sounds [*]Doesn’t follow you with his or her eyes [*]Isn’t interested in playing interactive games or playing with toys [*]Spend a lot of time rocking or comforting themselves [/LIST] [B]bunny[/B]- no hes currently not with the therapist, been trying to get him diagnosed but should be soon. When he did speak with one the therapist said its all me on the third visit let my son grow. Let him grow? I didnt understand he said let him be a kid and do things, sports, school etc. Umm he was in mini sports, parks, parties, all day school, functions, kids on the block, vacations, museums, etc etc!!! I did give him little freedom based on age and behavior! Yikes that counselor! [B]Wiped Out[/B]- must of been scary for you all and him, but glad hes gotten help and he got that medicaid. Yes, my kids have their medicaid, food stamps, had WIC so it helps, just takes a while! I think it also took me a while because I was listening that it was all my and my dads fault to. I knew when my son was 1 1/2( when I came on here I think) that something wasnt right- he was too moody, too many long tantrums and every year it just got worse. It was all the same every year, " he has speech issues, hes a boy, your daughter is 6 years older so your getting used to being a mom again, your learning to handle two kids now, " yikes really I thought? He of course was a hard pregnancy as well as up 4 times a night from day one! So should I say since I was prego? haha poor son!! But oddly the baby I lost was a boy, the boys I had bad pregnancy.. missing a chromosome or too many type issue? Genes as you all say? I don't know.... [/QUOTE]
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