omg. I need more than a drink. difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Charmedpea, Aug 17, 2008.

  1. Charmedpea

    Charmedpea New Member

    Tells me she might be prego.. WTH.. I am at a loss for words right now I just found out. Havent told husband yet. He is going to go threw the roof..

    She just turned 14 for crying out loud.. I dont know what else to say. I do not want to raise another kid.. I know that sounds harsh. She starts high school in a week..
    I have no clue what to do.. Why is this happening.. :sad-very::sad-very::sad-very::sad-very:

    any have gone threw this????

  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    No, I haven't gone through it, and I'm sorry you are. Can you run out right now and get a prego test- they have kinds made for early detection. I'd buy two of two different brands if I were you. I used them when I got prego, so I knew at ten days after conception. Then, of course, I went the following week and had a blood test by a gyno just to confirm.

    Let us know- hang in there...
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I haven't been through it.
    I'm so sorry.
    Has she been tested yet? I wouldn't tell husband until you get the tests back. Just my 2cents worth.
  4. Charmedpea

    Charmedpea New Member

    No she hasnt been tested yet. I litterly just found out when I posted. I found out from her hung up the phone and came here..

    No i'm not telling hubby until I know for sure. I almost feel like taking her away and then calling him and tellin him long distance.

  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Miss KT thought she was pregnant last summer. I found out after the fact. Fortunately, she was not. It does not sound harsh to say you don't want to raise another child. I understand that perfectly. In fact, I told Miss KT in no uncertain terms that I would not do that. Period. Go live with your father or something.

    If you don't want to do the home test, there's always Planned Parenthood. Sending many, many hugs. Please keep us posted.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Did this happen while she was IN the hospital??? What do the docs there say? How did they let this happen?? make THEM test her ASAP!! I guess iti s good that she is close enough to you to tell you, but heavens, who was supposed to be supervising her while inpatient? I can see that out in the work you can't supervise them all the time, but while inpatient they sure should!!

    Sending big hugs, and aa big old mug of HMJ!!!
  7. Charmedpea

    Charmedpea New Member

    She has been out of the hospital for a while. I will know more once we get her tested which will be this week.. She said she doesnt need my help:confused: umm really..

    I know hubby is going to say he is done and he is not raise anymore kids.
  8. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I am so sorry. This is so hard to deal with. I can imagine what you are feeling. I'm sure you are shocked, disappointed, scared, and angry all at the same time. You really need to find out ASAP. Your husband needs to hoover it up and you need to work as a team. You do not need to go through this alone.
  9. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Charmed, I hate to be a naysayer, but you posted about your difficult child's TOM at the beginning of August. By my calculations, it wouldn't even be time for her next period yet. How could she possibly guess if she's pregnant? Is this her way of telling you she's sexually active? Or is she just trying to get attention?

    If she were my daughter, I'd be sitting down with her tonight to get her to tell me exactly what's going on.
  10. Charmedpea

    Charmedpea New Member

    She said she lied when I ask her that. Could she be lieing now. of course. But she said she has only spotted not a normal period. I have to take this serious. and get her tested, and hope that is a false alarm and lock her up in her room.:smug:
  11. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Yes, you absolutely do need to have her tested. Why not get a home pregnancy test from the drug store tonight so you at least will know the truth?
  12. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I know exactly how you feel. My daughter has taken a few pregnancy tests over the years. I know how scared you are and don't blame you one bit for not wanting to raise another child. Neither do I!!! I always tell my daughter if she gets pregnant and has a baby she will not live in my house. Sounds good, however I don't know that I would actually be able to go through with that threat. I might keep the baby and tell my daughter she has to go!!! Knock on wood, her tests have always been negative - thank God!!!

    Don't panic yet, let her take a test first. You might be worrying for no reason.

    Keeping my finger crossed for you. Let us know what happens. :)
  13. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    At her age it's not unusual for periods to be erratic with occasional spotting and other changes in pattern.

    I'd be using this time while she's in panic mode to work with her (using her fear as impetus) to get her onto contraception. An implant springs to mind - she can't forget to take THAT.

    I talked to both my girls and made it clear - if they make the choice to be sexually active, then they MUST take on the sexual responsibility that goes with it. That includes using protection (and that's using condoms as well as hormonal methods); pap smears; breast checks; injections for cervical cancer (preferably before ANY more sexual contact); learning about emotional responsibility, and so on.
    Can't have one without the other.

    Because if she gets pregnant, someone has to be responsible for the baby. Responsibility should begin BEFORE sexual activity, but it often doesn't. So she's got some catching up to do.

    Here's hoping it's a false alarm. I'd be quietly getting her tested before telling husband.

  14. lambsear2

    lambsear2 New Member

    Hey Charmed-

    A parents perspective will differ from the child here. Have you had an opportunity to ask her why she thinks she is pregnant? I might also remind her that some lies are just too big let pass and give her the opportunity to come clean if she is making it up.

    Consider having your daughter make an appointment at a family planning clinic that can provide a pregnancy test and give her counciling on her options. Your daughter said that she "doesn't need your help" So why not give her the tools to address this herself. Of course you should be there to support her and try to speak to her about what she is planning to do about this and what if any assistance she can expect from you & your husband.

    Hang in there & god give you strength.
  15. Haven't been there myself, but have had many talks with easy child, she is 16. I can't imagine with a 14 yr old. Certainly hoping with you that it is negative. One of the girls easy child knows (they used to be friends) is pregnant and seemingly happy about it. This allowed easy child and I to have a in-depth conversation on the topic - even more so than we have ever had.

    I agree with others, I would take this opportunity to have a talk with her and definitely get her on some sort of birth control.