OMG! Is he serious???

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by JKF, May 25, 2013.

  1. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    Omg! I am so frustrated with difficult child!!! So - as you know - after 3 days out on the streets for breaking curfew he was allowed back to SH last night. He planned on staying in today and resting.

    Well - he just called me to tell me that he and his roommate were bored so they are on a bus to the mall which is 4 towns over from SH. It takes an hour and 10 minutes to get there via bus and then they are planning on walking to the train station from the mall and taking the train back. The walk from the mall to the train station is at least 5 miles yet difficult child is insisting he knows what he's doing. Ok - whatever!!!

    I told him that I think this is a very stupid thing for him to be doing and NOT to call me when he finds himself stuck and needing a ride. I said I will not be available and my phone will be off so figure it out yourself. And then I hung up!

    I am SO angry and frustrated with him right now. I know he's going to miss curfew because he has to be back by 7:30 and he's not going to have enough time to pull this off. Oh well! I guess he must really like living on the streets because otherwise WHY would he be taking this risk?!?!!? Ugggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
  2. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Oy! Just makes you want to tear every last strand of your hair out, doesn't it?

    I do hope he makes it back on time. Why do they have to push envelope with out a care in the world?
  3. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    Could he be testing you?

    Why would he tell you before he did it, knowing there was no way for you to stop him?

    Will he be taken in by the halfway-house again, if he misses curfew?

    Do you have any way to know whether he has made it back in time?

    If you do have a way to know, try to put this aside for now. There will be time enough to deal with whatever is coming next once you know what that is.

    Keep yourself distracted until 7:30. Call the half-way house, then.

    This is one of those times you are going to have to get through almost minute by minute. Right now, it would be best to conserve your emotional strength.

    Please post after you know the outcome.

    Holding you in our thoughts.

  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    JKF, did he make it back in time?
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think he is testing you too. He may not have even left the SH. He probably wanted to see if you would get all upset and call the SH and act like a puppet on his string. He would have the ability to jerk you around emotionally even without you and he being in the same location. Quite a feat for a young man!
  6. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    I guess he wound up making it back on time. I'm pretty sure he really did leave although I don't know where he went. So many different versions of his story from him since Sat so who knows what's true and what's not. I really don't care that much though to be honest with you. I'm tired of caring so much. After he called Sat I went to a BBQ with husband and younger son and left my phone at home. I wanted no part of his drama. I'm tired of the drama.

    He did somehow wind up in the possession of a handheld video game. I'm sure it's stolen. Either directly from someone or he stole something else and traded that in at Game Stop for what he has now. Whatever. I didn't even question him. When I told him it was up to him to figure things out for himself I meant it. I thought about that a lot over the weekend and I've decided it's really time to take my power back. And not just with difficult child - with everything! I miss the old me and I know my husband does too. I need to be the best me I can be and that means saying no to drama, walking away, not getting caught up, taking better care of myself mentally and physically, etc. It's definitely time.
  7. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member


    That's how I want to be.

    Send some of that good energy this way, when you are done.


  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

  9. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    That's a really great idea . I might look into that as well. I always used to keep a journal and it really helped a lot to be able to put down my feelings without censorship or judgement from anyone else.

    As for difficult child, he called last night. He was in a horrible mood. Just blah and cranky. He's back to complaining about the curfew at SH. According to him, it's not fair that he has to have a curfew. I tried to reason with him and give him tips and suggestions - for example maybe he should ASK his caseworker how he can get a later curfew time? Nope he said - not worth it. Uhhh ok? I then asked him if he's seen the Dr. lately bc maybe it's time for a medication increase and he told me he's tired of taking medications. Oh yay! And so it begins again!

    I did message him earlier and reminded him that if he's not taking medications and complying with the SH rules that his PO will give him a violation and send him back to jail. Not sure if it will do much good bc when he gets in this frame of mind he's impossible to deal with. Oh well.
    Lasted edited by : Jul 10, 2013
  10. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Lord I wish there were better answers for what to do with adults who can't seem to grow up and take responsibility.