TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
I had an uncharacteristic temper tantrum yesterday.
I was supposed to show up at a friend's house to go to an event in another city.
There was no way I could realistically pick up difficult child at school (the carpool line is unpredictable), get him a drive-through snack, drop him off at husband's ofc, and be at D's the house on time. I called and was told, no big deal, continue on.
Long story short, I ended up being 25 min. late.
D has quite a temper. She is a control freak about time. I tend to run late. We have had arguments about this issue b4. She has no children and no husband (divorced) and has no clue how hard it is to master the art of being early or on time with-a difficult child. (I may have posted about her on WC, can't recall.)
The more I thought about it, the more I fretted. I just knew she would bite my head off. By the time I got to her house, I was a wreck.
But I was right--she was PO'd. She gave me the cold shoulder. When I got into the back seat, I asked B to pull over because I felt like something was wrong. (You know how your stomach goes in knots and the hair on your arms stands up? I felt like that.) She shouted "NO! The more we talk the later we are." She was clearly very angry. I said pull over, and poor B was like Gumby, trying to please both of us. Stop, go, Stop, Go.
I knew that D would fume and yell the entire way (over 1 hr) -- once she starts, she pummels you into the ground. She yells and uses the F-word and goes ballistic. I may have been deserving of a reprimand, but did not want to put up with-her out-of-proportion anger, stuck in the back seat, all the way to another city. She said she was in a bad mood and hungry and just wanted to get going. I understood, but still didn't want to be around her, judging from past experience.
I said something about the hassel of time and I never should have agreed to go and I couldn't deal with-the stress and I needed to get out.
I got out and slammed the door. Hard.
I have never, ever, ever done that b4 with-my friends.
I drove home in tears, mad at myself, mad at her, totally worn out.
difficult child and husband came home and difficult child asked me why I was home (and in my nightgown, and crying). I told him I'd gotten in a fight with-D because I was late.
difficult child said, "Doesn't she understand that you have responsibilities and a family to take care of and that they come first, and that it's really hard to get through all the traffic on time?"
Then he gave me an enormous hug. I cried on his shoulder. Mostly, I was crying because he hugged me and was so empathetic. I was in shock!
OMG.
There is hope!!!!
Anyone reading this would think it was a perfectly normal response, but coming from my difficult child, it is a miracle. I am in shock and awe.
(I have spoken with-my friends and everything is fine now. I am not going to make any commitments to anything that is not within the city limits on a weeknight. It's just too much effort. Live and learn.)
I was supposed to show up at a friend's house to go to an event in another city.
There was no way I could realistically pick up difficult child at school (the carpool line is unpredictable), get him a drive-through snack, drop him off at husband's ofc, and be at D's the house on time. I called and was told, no big deal, continue on.
Long story short, I ended up being 25 min. late.
D has quite a temper. She is a control freak about time. I tend to run late. We have had arguments about this issue b4. She has no children and no husband (divorced) and has no clue how hard it is to master the art of being early or on time with-a difficult child. (I may have posted about her on WC, can't recall.)
The more I thought about it, the more I fretted. I just knew she would bite my head off. By the time I got to her house, I was a wreck.
But I was right--she was PO'd. She gave me the cold shoulder. When I got into the back seat, I asked B to pull over because I felt like something was wrong. (You know how your stomach goes in knots and the hair on your arms stands up? I felt like that.) She shouted "NO! The more we talk the later we are." She was clearly very angry. I said pull over, and poor B was like Gumby, trying to please both of us. Stop, go, Stop, Go.
I knew that D would fume and yell the entire way (over 1 hr) -- once she starts, she pummels you into the ground. She yells and uses the F-word and goes ballistic. I may have been deserving of a reprimand, but did not want to put up with-her out-of-proportion anger, stuck in the back seat, all the way to another city. She said she was in a bad mood and hungry and just wanted to get going. I understood, but still didn't want to be around her, judging from past experience.
I said something about the hassel of time and I never should have agreed to go and I couldn't deal with-the stress and I needed to get out.
I got out and slammed the door. Hard.
I have never, ever, ever done that b4 with-my friends.
I drove home in tears, mad at myself, mad at her, totally worn out.
difficult child and husband came home and difficult child asked me why I was home (and in my nightgown, and crying). I told him I'd gotten in a fight with-D because I was late.
difficult child said, "Doesn't she understand that you have responsibilities and a family to take care of and that they come first, and that it's really hard to get through all the traffic on time?"
Then he gave me an enormous hug. I cried on his shoulder. Mostly, I was crying because he hugged me and was so empathetic. I was in shock!
OMG.
There is hope!!!!
Anyone reading this would think it was a perfectly normal response, but coming from my difficult child, it is a miracle. I am in shock and awe.
(I have spoken with-my friends and everything is fine now. I am not going to make any commitments to anything that is not within the city limits on a weeknight. It's just too much effort. Live and learn.)
