Ugh...WHERE to start? There have been many transitions for difficult child lately. We finally got him into a BED (Behavioral and Emotionally Disabled) classroom. Unfortunately, it is at another school. At first we filed a petition with the school district to allow him to remain at the school he's been attending since 2nd grade since we are so close to the end of the year. However, difficult children behavior was deteriorating and we were being called almost every day to come and get him. He was having meltdowns almost on a daily basis. My main concern was that he not get himself into this state every day for the next month. So, last Tuesday we withdrew the petition. They had a small going-away party for him on Thursday and afterwards at home he went completely crazy on me - hitting me, throwing things, destroying things in the house, etc. When he is like this there is no reasoning with him and he is almost too big to restrain. He finally calmed down after a couple of hours and went to the new school pretty easily Friday. I was on cloud 9!! I started thinking maybe this will turn everything around...Then Monday he had a horrible day and Monday night he had a major meltdown and I was so upset. He was saying all these bad things about the boys in his classroom (6 besides him) and the 2 teachers. Listening to this stuff, I was getting more and more upset. The night ended with him begging me to let him kill himself. Yesterday morning, husband and I walked him in and spoke to the two teacher's. It became quite clear that difficult child was manipulating us and that what was happening was he was trying to get away with the same stuff he could get away with at his old school and couldn't and was very upset. So, again, I felt better after speaking to them. This leads me to the crazy incident of yesterday afternoon. I'm sorry this is so long. I just thought the history was important. This is why I need to post much more frequently. Anyway, he has also been taken off Depakote and one Abilify every day. We saw basically no changes after stopping the Depakote and with the Abilify, it's really hard to know if it's the medication decrease or everything else. So he is now taking one Abilify and one Tenex in the morning and the same in the afternoon. Anyway, I had to take him to a neuropsychologist appointment yesterday at one so I picked him up early. I was really happy because he had a GREAT day. Everything was going smoothly until we got in the office. We were about 20 minutes early. I offered to let him play with my phone. No. He started saying he didn't want to be there. Then out of really nowhere, he takes my bookmark and tears it. Then when I wasn't watching him he goes outside and locks himself in the car. When I ask him to come out he refuses and starts beeping the horn. After about 30 min of this type of behavior (not horn blowing) I get him in the waiting room and then into a room. While waiting for the NP and then while she's there, he's trying to kick me, trying to rip a plant in her office etc. Then he refuses to go into the car to go home. We were there for about 30 more minutes. On the way home, he is being aggressive with me in the front seat and threatening to open the door almost the whole way home. I wound up having to pull to the side of the road once and he also wound up getting slapped a few times. He was cursing at me the whole time so I had totally had it and started cursing back at him. Maybe not the most mature thing to do but I had totally HAD it!! This in a nutshell has been my life for almost 9 years now. I honestly don't know how I've managed to remain sane. I guess cause I have no choice. Someone last week referred to themselves as a "shell" of what they used to be and that fits perfectly. And I guess the worst part is, there's no end in sight.