Childofmine
one day at a time
I talked to difficult child last Thursday---good conversation---he called me on Thursday, not before, not after, like I had suggested. We talked about the World Cup, his plans to get into a 28-day program and then their halfway house in a city about 25 miles away from here, his efforts to get his depression RX, etc. It was a good conversation.
When we hung up, I said, why don't you touch base with me next week? He said okay. I didn't go into the holiday weekend, my plans, his plans. I knew the day shelter was going to be closed for three days but I didn't mention it and neither did he.
Today, he called again and we talked. He got his RX, saw the doctor, got steroids for poison ivy and chigger bites---he slept in the woods one night, he said---last time he will do that, he said.
He was to call the 28-day program today at 2 as they asked him to. He also said he has a job interview if the program doesn't work out and is waiting on going to the night shelters until he knows more too.
I didn't redirect, suggest---anything. I said: Sounds like you are making good progress.
Later I said: I have complete faith you can do anything you decide to do.
We talked about the World Cup again. I said at one point: How are you? He said: fine. I offered nothing and he asked for nothing.
He sounded clear and good, and like he was trying to make things happen. I don't want to go all overboard here, but...perhaps he was "scared straight" a bit anyway, by the prospect of jail. And also he is having to go to two probations---weekly, local, for the shoplifting charge and state, for the felonies. He could be drug tested at any time, and he's back in jail.
So, this is a good thing. A deterrent I hope.
Anyway, we will see. Time will tell. I am going to keep the pace just like this. I'd like to talk with him once a week for a short call for now.
**************
I also talked to my sister tonight....and...she never said a word about the email I sent her nearly two weeks ago saying that texting, especially questions about difficult child and his status, and saying she is "curious" just doesn't do it for me, especially when we aren't talking by phone from time to time, like you would think sisters would do.
Never said a word. We talked about everything else under the sun, and at the end of the call I said, "Well, I hope we can talk more by phone from now on." she said, "Sounds good."
Weird. I am more of a let's-lay-it-on-the-table person, but I didn't force it.
Who knows? SO said...well, she swept that under the rug didn't she?
I don't know. I could have a faceoff with her, but at least I said my piece and I said it clearly and kindly. We'll see what the action is on her part.
I am going to work to let it go. Maybe file it under: Families are Just Weird.
I don't know what I would do---truly---without people like you all who really get it. I would feel half crazy, I know. But I know that you feel it, and you get it, and you understand. That is a gift.
When we hung up, I said, why don't you touch base with me next week? He said okay. I didn't go into the holiday weekend, my plans, his plans. I knew the day shelter was going to be closed for three days but I didn't mention it and neither did he.
Today, he called again and we talked. He got his RX, saw the doctor, got steroids for poison ivy and chigger bites---he slept in the woods one night, he said---last time he will do that, he said.
He was to call the 28-day program today at 2 as they asked him to. He also said he has a job interview if the program doesn't work out and is waiting on going to the night shelters until he knows more too.
I didn't redirect, suggest---anything. I said: Sounds like you are making good progress.
Later I said: I have complete faith you can do anything you decide to do.
We talked about the World Cup again. I said at one point: How are you? He said: fine. I offered nothing and he asked for nothing.
He sounded clear and good, and like he was trying to make things happen. I don't want to go all overboard here, but...perhaps he was "scared straight" a bit anyway, by the prospect of jail. And also he is having to go to two probations---weekly, local, for the shoplifting charge and state, for the felonies. He could be drug tested at any time, and he's back in jail.
So, this is a good thing. A deterrent I hope.
Anyway, we will see. Time will tell. I am going to keep the pace just like this. I'd like to talk with him once a week for a short call for now.
**************
I also talked to my sister tonight....and...she never said a word about the email I sent her nearly two weeks ago saying that texting, especially questions about difficult child and his status, and saying she is "curious" just doesn't do it for me, especially when we aren't talking by phone from time to time, like you would think sisters would do.
Never said a word. We talked about everything else under the sun, and at the end of the call I said, "Well, I hope we can talk more by phone from now on." she said, "Sounds good."
Weird. I am more of a let's-lay-it-on-the-table person, but I didn't force it.
Who knows? SO said...well, she swept that under the rug didn't she?
I don't know. I could have a faceoff with her, but at least I said my piece and I said it clearly and kindly. We'll see what the action is on her part.
I am going to work to let it go. Maybe file it under: Families are Just Weird.
I don't know what I would do---truly---without people like you all who really get it. I would feel half crazy, I know. But I know that you feel it, and you get it, and you understand. That is a gift.