On top of it all, I hit a deer, tonight...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ShakespeareMamaX, Oct 30, 2007.

  1. ShakespeareMamaX

    ShakespeareMamaX New Member

    Well, I had an SAT (student assistance team) meeting today. According to the school handbook:

    "A Student Assistance Team includes teachers, administrators, and consultants who work collaboratively to develop strategies to support students' academic and behavioral needs."

    When my husband and I got to the meeting at 8:30, this morning, the only people in the room were the school social worker and the principal.

    The principal had a piece of paper that we were supposed to write a "plan" on to recreate my child. OK...let's give it a whirl. His idea was to send my son to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (return to class/detention) room 3 times a day, everyday, as to put a little variety in his day. Of course, he would be escorted by another child as to prevent these "dangerous" behaviors my son has been advertising to the school that even the principal, himself, couldn't control.

    Brilliant! :hammer:

    "Well, I know you guys are in a hurry to get to work, so..."
    If I had my brass knuckles on at the moment(s) the principal said that... :cigarsmoker:
    HE wanted to leave, so he tried to use US as the excuse. I said "Well, we're willing to take all the time necessary in order to fix this. We're not worried about work right now".

    I asked about a 504 plan...he didn't know what it was.

    The social worker sat there in silence most of the time and, eventually, the school psychologist joined the group. I asked if they had the resources at the school for one-on-one attention for my child.
    I asked if they had smaller classes as to give my child a little more individual attention than a full size class.
    Well, then...I said, "maybe (no offense to the school) this school and my son are not compatible."
    "Oh, you're not going to get anything different from any other school. In fact, this is the only school in this town that has the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) room." :bravo:
    I asked if there were any alternative schools, at all, in town.
    This is where the psychologist piped up "Oh, that's something that will need to be discussed in the PPT."
    Me - "Yeah? How's that coming along, by the way?"
    psychiatric - "The paperwork is being filed."
    Me - "OK...still in the WORKS. OK..." :grrr:

    At 9:00 (1/2 later), the principal had to leave. Mind you, nothing had been accomplished. The only plan were the 3x a day Residential Treatment Center (RTC) visits.

    We moved into the psychiatric's office. Now it's just us and her (not sure where the social worker went). She seems to be a bit more on the same page as us, but we still never worked out a solid plan. She suggested when he go to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) room he continue doing assignments to color his turtles in (there are 5), so he gets a reward.

    Today, though, the goal was to color 2 turtles. Worth a shot, I guess.

    The social worker shows up a while into talking to the psychiatric. He gives me 3 numbers to 3 new MDs. I ask the psychiatric and the social worker's opinions on whether they thought it would be effective to have my son apologize to the class for disrupting them.

    They agreed this would be a bad idea it as it would embarass him. I think for a moment...alright, I suppose that's reasonable.

    Now, what came next stopped me in my tracks. The psychiatric tells me that one of the times my son was so lovingly escorted out of the room for his behavior, the WHOLE class applauded. Applauded! With him RIGHT THERE! It completely disgusts me that such behavior is allowed by those children! I wanted to cry for my son. I wanted to hug him. Squeeze him and get him out of that wretched excuse for a school.

    But I continued...I needed to get all the info I could.

    I found out the principal requested my son's teacher NOT attend the meeting and didn't even advise her of it until later this morning.

    I found out the principal last year was more apt to keep the "problem" kids in school, as opposed to kicking them out the door the second they acted up.

    I found out that I liked the psychiatric a LOT more having found out her opinions on the (gym teacher) principal, alone. We'll just say she's not his biggest fan. :thumbsup:

    So....that's it. That's the plan. A kid bringing my kid to detention 3 times a day so he can color [enter colorful language] turtles.

    May I add the silver lining of my day:

    I got an appointment with a neurologist for 18 December. And they take my insurance. Woo hoo!!! :ghost:

    This is my last spark of hope, at this point. As much as I'd hate to see that my son actually did have some kind of inbalance with his brain...at least, we'd know what to fix, right?

  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Wow - I thought this post was about a deer! LOL!

    Well, sounds like you need an advocate with you for the next meeting. It is free. The school should be able to provide you a list of them.

    When is the next official IEP meeting?
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    If you can get an advocate, get one.

    I'd start pushing for a new IEP meeting.

    I had a pricipal pull the teacher no show game on me. Actually Travis was in hs and ALL his teachers were to be at the IEP meeting. We'd set it up this way on purpose. We get there, no teachers. I refused to start the meeting til the teachers arrived.

    Now, having been a difficult child in my own day, I can be one stubborn person when I want to be. We sat there for 45 mins while they harry scarry gathered up his teachers simply because I refused to budge. lol It was one of the best meetings we had. Because two of those teachers the principal didn't want there actually backed us up on Travis' social problems and the fact that other kids were stealing his textbooks. :smile:

    I'm so glad those days are behind me.

  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Me too. I was waiting to read about the poor deer. Dear.

    Wow, that's weird that they did not tell the teacher about the mtng. Very, very weird.

    And they don't think your son should apologize because it might embarrass him, but it's okay if the classroom applauds when he's escorted out. Whatever.

    So sorry. Looks like the kids and adults in this issue are all on the same level!

    Yes, you may want a new diagnosis. In the meantime, you're clearly working on it, once piece at a time.

    Good luck.
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Add another one who was waiting for the deer story at the end of your post!

    I think busywend is right on - time to bring in an advocate.

  6. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Wow. Reminds me of when they told us I had to come sit with difficult child 2 for him to finish 6th grade. When 7th grade started I put my foot down on that. (they really thought I would do it again) Get that advocate. Make sure they are on your same page and utilize them.

    Hope things get better.

  7. Hanging-On

    Hanging-On New Member

    Me too, I was concerned about you and the deer. Hope everything's alright. It really does sound like they are jerking you around. Also, why are they giving you the names of doctors to take your son. That's part of their responsibility. My difficult child's school had me running around to all different doctors, and then I found out from my lawyer that they were transferring the cost and responsibility to me for what they were suppose to do. I'd get a lawyer or advocate to go with you from now on. They're seriously messing with you.
  8. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    The school district is required to evaluate in all areas of suspected disability -- it doesn't matter what the suspected disabilit(ies) is. So, if you've requested a Full and Initial Evaluation, the medical evaluation should be a part of it. (Keep the paper with-the 3 doctor's names recommended. )

    Diagnostics are part of the sd evaluation, however, medical treatments are at parent expense. For instance, say a medical doctor did appropriate testing and diagnoses a child with seizure disorder. That's paid by the school district. If the doctor recommends a medication, that's not classified as a diagnostic and the medications are the parent expense.

    There are some treatments that are classified as related services, e.g., speech-language therapy, occupational therapy, etc. In these type cases, diagnostics and treatment are at sd expense.
  9. Hanging-On

    Hanging-On New Member

    Thanks Sheila, you described the differences, I failed to put in my post, beautifully.