Once a warrior mom...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by flutterby, Feb 13, 2010.

  1. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    always a warrior mom.

    easy child's DF (A) called me crying.

    Her mom had given her $15 for Valentines Day to get her nails done. It costs $25 to have her nails done and A was hemming and hawing about having it done because she "doesn't really need to spend $10" and easy child hasn't been spending money on stuff.

    I told her that she should do this for herself. She doesn't do much for herself. She was working the 2-3 months easy child wasn't, plus going to school, PLUS cleaning the house, while easy child sat around and played video games for 12 hours a day. So she decided to do it.

    She went to her mom's and her difficult child sister (who lives there with her 2 kids) needed a ride to work (no license from DUI's), so A took her to work. On the way, she had to stop at easy child's work to get my debit card because we're going shopping later (this debit card thing is becoming a habit...sigh) and left her sister in the car with her wallet type thing which is on her key chain. She left the keys in the ignition so her difficult child sister could listen to music.

    After she came back out - all of 5 minutes later - her difficult child sister wanted to go to the drive-thru for cigarettes and A took her. difficult child sister handed her a $10 bill to pay.

    A drops difficult child sister off at work and goes to the nail salon. Before she went in, she checked her wallet thing. The $15 (which had been given to her as a $10 bill and a $5 bill) was gone.

    difficult child sister is 7(?) years older than A. A was the one who picked up difficult child sister from jail from her last DUI and drove her around to try to find her car, because difficult child sister had been so drunk she didn't know where she was picked up at. After she lost her license, A took difficult child sister back and forth to work - 25 minutes each way - and difficult child sister never offered her any gas money. A was 17 and in high school at the time. A helped difficult child sister pay her rent one month - again, while in high school - which didn't matter because difficult child sister got evicted the next month anyway.

    difficult child sister has never offered to pay her back, do anything to help A or anything. And now she stole from her.

    A is so upset she could barely talk. She called her mom who told her that she was sorry and that difficult child sister had stolen from her, too. Mom called the nail salon and told them that whatever A didn't have the money for, to just put it on her bill and she would pay it when she goes in to have her nails done.

    So, I called difficult child sister at work. Told her who I was and told her that her little sister called me crying. I then told her that the $15 her mom had given A was missing and "would you happen to know anything about that?"

    difficult child sister was syrupy sweet and "Nooooo, I don't know anything about that. I wouldn't steal from my sister."

    Me: "A is really upset. She was crying so hard she could barely talk."
    difficult child: "I don't want my sister to be upset. I didn't take it, but I'll give her the money. I know she's really struggling and I don't want her to be upset. I didn't take it, but I'll be happy to give it to her and do without. She doesn't think that I took it, does she?"
    Me: "She does and she's too upset to talk to you right now."
    difficult child: "I don't want my sister to be upset. I didn't take it, but I'll give her $15."

    difficult child sister said about 5 times, "I didn't take it", but is more than happy to give it to her and was oh, so sweet the entire conversation.

    I told her that I would really appreciate it if she did give it to her and that it would be very nice of her. I said thank you and hung up.

    You know, A has had to deal with more than her fair share - between difficult child mom, difficult child sister, difficult child step-dad. And she is such a sweet, good, trusting, honest person. Yes, we've had issues with the adjustment of 3 adults living in the same house, but it's been worked out. It was due to expectation, immaturity, difficult child tension, etc.

    I am sick and tired of watching her family abuse her and I will NOT stand by and let it happen anymore. I will NOT let them think they are getting away with it. They WILL know that I will back A up and that they are dealing with more than just a loving, sweet, 18 year old kid who has put up with this all of her life - and is just used to taking it to keep peace.
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator


    I hope A cuts ties with her family, especially if they become in-laws to you.

    My mother was much the same way though she never stole from me. She did, however, cross the Canadian-US border in my car with pot in her belongings. She really didn't get it that I would be the one they blamed, not the 50+ year old woman in the passenger seat. I could have been arrested, had my car impounded and denied future entry into Canada.

    People like this can't think through to the consequences for themselves let alone others. A could have been charged with theft of services.

    I'm sorry her family is like this and I feel very sorry for her sister's children.