I am sorry for your heartache GM. I have two daughters addicted and using. Using drugs and using
anyone who would offer them help.
I am standing my position that I have been advised to not him live with us. My husband is struggling with the fact he now has no car and it is very cold outside. He feels like if he dies we did not do all we could have. Please let me hear from you guys.
Your son is 33. I am sure you have both tried long and hard, just about everything to help get him on his feet. It doesn’t work. He needs to realize his responsibility and capability. Drug addicts living in our homes do not do this.
I am sorry that your husband is struggling. It is hard to have our addicted loved ones out there. Unfortunately, it is the consequences of their choice to use and abuse drugs, and to use and abuse loved ones. We are not rugs to be tread upon, lied to, stolen from. If we do not stand up and say enough, how will our d cs ever learn? Nothing changes, if nothing changes.
In the comfort of my home, my daughters drug use ramped up. It was “easy street” for them to continue as is. I am fortunate to live in the tropics, so I don’t have to worry about the cold.
You wrote that your husband dropped son off at the Salvation Army. Will he be able to stay there? If so, that is shelter.
Our d cs choice to squander money and neglect necessities is baffling. Drugs drive the bus. The “help” we give a using addict is in reality helping them to continue using.
I am sorry for what you are going throug GM. I have been in similar circumstances with my two,
minus the cold weather.
It is hard if your spouse is not on the same page with you. Everyone processes in their own time and way. Would your husband go to naranon or counseling to help you both cope and sort through this?
I hope you find ways to release the stress of all you have been through. It is difficult when focus is on the consequences of our D cs choices. We become very “back burner” while putting out the fires of this mess. The drama and chaos is over the top.
Please take very good care of yourself. Remember, the end of the story is not written. If you have faith in a higher power, pray. It helps me when I feel overwhelmed and powerless and sad over my daughters situations. After all these years, I have learned that I have no control over their choices. When I have had them live with me, my home becomes a nightmare. It became a matter of sanity and survival for me, and my young son.
I have also found that many times I worried myself sick over them being out there, and it was just another Tuesday for them. I would struggle and feel depressed, while they were out partying. Sigh.
Our lives matter too, GM. The peace of our homes, matter. The rest of our lives matters, too.
My daughters are 38 and 29. Like you, the stress and challenges with them started in their teens. It has been a long, hard, tiring journey.
It is way past the time that they are supposed to grow up and learn to take care of themselves. I will not be on this earth forever to rescue them. They have got to learn to take care of themselves.
As does your son.
Stay strong GM, but do understand that your husband has his own hardship and heartache over this.
My heart goes out to you both.
(((Hugs)))
Leafy