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Substance Abuse
Once addict always an addict ????
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 726397" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Hi Guilty Mom. Nice to "see" you again.</p><p></p><p>You have nothing to feel guilty about! I am changing your name to "Great Mom" because you are concerned enough to post about your son.</p><p></p><p>Your son's choices, especially at 33, are his own.</p><p></p><p>I understand your reluctance to let your mom deal with this issue, but if there are 2 adults of sound mind there is not much you can do. Hopefully it is just one night and your mom will let him go out there and live out his choices. </p><p></p><p>As far as treatment, this is just my opinion. I am sure others will be along soon to chime in.</p><p></p><p>I think most addicts say treatment will not work for them because they are afraid treatment might actually work.</p><p></p><p>The addict is not the one that should be making the decisions about what will work and what will not. Ownership in treatment is usually a good thing, but I am not convinced it is a good thing at all when dealing with addicts. Relinquishing control might be the only hope our children have in the face of an addiction.</p><p></p><p>There is our precious child (even when they are 20, or 30, or 50) and there is the addict. The addict is not our child, but it has taken over our child's mind and soul.</p><p></p><p>The addict doesn't care about anything except feeding its pleasures.</p><p></p><p>I mean, really...if the addict's decisions were sound, our sons and daughters would not be where they are now.</p><p></p><p>Letting the addict make the decisions is like putting the toddler in charge of the house while the grownups are out of town.</p><p></p><p>So my opinion is that somehow your best bet is to facilitate your son getting to the point where he recognizes his addict is in control, and to realize this is NOT a good thing.</p><p></p><p>In all likelihood, if your son is 33 years old, that won't come by talking to him. The best hope for you, and for him, is to be hands off and let him live out the fruits of his choices so he can see that for himself.</p><p></p><p>I know, many times over, that this is easier said than done. It's a hard process to let go of our precious children and let them bear the consequences of their decisions.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. It helps a lot.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 726397, member: 17720"] Hi Guilty Mom. Nice to "see" you again. You have nothing to feel guilty about! I am changing your name to "Great Mom" because you are concerned enough to post about your son. Your son's choices, especially at 33, are his own. I understand your reluctance to let your mom deal with this issue, but if there are 2 adults of sound mind there is not much you can do. Hopefully it is just one night and your mom will let him go out there and live out his choices. As far as treatment, this is just my opinion. I am sure others will be along soon to chime in. I think most addicts say treatment will not work for them because they are afraid treatment might actually work. The addict is not the one that should be making the decisions about what will work and what will not. Ownership in treatment is usually a good thing, but I am not convinced it is a good thing at all when dealing with addicts. Relinquishing control might be the only hope our children have in the face of an addiction. There is our precious child (even when they are 20, or 30, or 50) and there is the addict. The addict is not our child, but it has taken over our child's mind and soul. The addict doesn't care about anything except feeding its pleasures. I mean, really...if the addict's decisions were sound, our sons and daughters would not be where they are now. Letting the addict make the decisions is like putting the toddler in charge of the house while the grownups are out of town. So my opinion is that somehow your best bet is to facilitate your son getting to the point where he recognizes his addict is in control, and to realize this is NOT a good thing. In all likelihood, if your son is 33 years old, that won't come by talking to him. The best hope for you, and for him, is to be hands off and let him live out the fruits of his choices so he can see that for himself. I know, many times over, that this is easier said than done. It's a hard process to let go of our precious children and let them bear the consequences of their decisions. Keep posting. It helps a lot. [/QUOTE]
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Once addict always an addict ????
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