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Substance Abuse
Once addict always an addict ????
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 726407" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. Good morning. Albatross gave perfect advice in my opinion. I just wanted to chime in that you can't protect your mother unless you feel she is a victim by him of elder abuse (then you can turn him in) if she is just one adult to another trying to help him, you have no control over her choice or son's decisions or selfishness.</p><p></p><p>My guess is that as an addict he will act badly to her soon enough and that she will be done with it</p><p></p><p>Addicts can quit using. They do it every day. But it's not easy and it usually takes long term rehab plus sober living,. not hypnosis. Be nice if addicts could just get hypnotized and stop, right? He just isn't ready to quit. It isn't fast or easy. You are in my opinion doing the right thing, not letting him stay with you while he is actively using.</p><p></p><p>One last thing. You don't need him waking you up at night. Addicts keep weird hours. You don't. Turn off your phone at night. Anything can keep until the morning, especially his whining. You can't help even in an emergency. You are not a medical professional. Hearing anything can wait. You need to sleep through each night and you matter. Suggest it to Mom. She may refuse to listen but you tried. All you can do.</p><p></p><p>He is 33. You can't legally force a man that age to get treatment. Hopefully he will see the waste of his life soon and want to change it. Until then, his brain is on drugs so he won't be able to engage in logical conversation. Don't aggrevate yourself talking to him more than a few short times a week. Or once a week. Why rush to hear him whine about his crappy life at 2am? He is the cause of it, not you and only he can change it, not you.</p><p></p><p> Do you have other, sane family? Good friends? Church? Hobbies? Activities you love? Time to focus on you. You are the only person you can change. Go back to the person you once were before son derailed your life. Your angst over him won't help him one bit. Detach, detach, detach. Ever go to AA? I do think you could benefit from therapy. At least, many of us have, if not most of us. This is too hard to do without FaceTime help.</p><p></p><p>Love and hugs. Find peace tonight.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 726407, member: 1550"] Hi. Good morning. Albatross gave perfect advice in my opinion. I just wanted to chime in that you can't protect your mother unless you feel she is a victim by him of elder abuse (then you can turn him in) if she is just one adult to another trying to help him, you have no control over her choice or son's decisions or selfishness. My guess is that as an addict he will act badly to her soon enough and that she will be done with it Addicts can quit using. They do it every day. But it's not easy and it usually takes long term rehab plus sober living,. not hypnosis. Be nice if addicts could just get hypnotized and stop, right? He just isn't ready to quit. It isn't fast or easy. You are in my opinion doing the right thing, not letting him stay with you while he is actively using. One last thing. You don't need him waking you up at night. Addicts keep weird hours. You don't. Turn off your phone at night. Anything can keep until the morning, especially his whining. You can't help even in an emergency. You are not a medical professional. Hearing anything can wait. You need to sleep through each night and you matter. Suggest it to Mom. She may refuse to listen but you tried. All you can do. He is 33. You can't legally force a man that age to get treatment. Hopefully he will see the waste of his life soon and want to change it. Until then, his brain is on drugs so he won't be able to engage in logical conversation. Don't aggrevate yourself talking to him more than a few short times a week. Or once a week. Why rush to hear him whine about his crappy life at 2am? He is the cause of it, not you and only he can change it, not you. Do you have other, sane family? Good friends? Church? Hobbies? Activities you love? Time to focus on you. You are the only person you can change. Go back to the person you once were before son derailed your life. Your angst over him won't help him one bit. Detach, detach, detach. Ever go to AA? I do think you could benefit from therapy. At least, many of us have, if not most of us. This is too hard to do without FaceTime help. Love and hugs. Find peace tonight. [/QUOTE]
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