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Substance Abuse
Once addict always an addict ????
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 726778" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Of course he isn't going to freeze in the cold and end up dead. He has a whole network of druggie friends that he will party with. They will find various places to crash or couch surf until it warms up. Remember when you were SOOOOO WORRIED about him after he got out of the hospital? Where was he? Back at his housing. He may have had to leave because of fireworks, but he has friends (drug buddies) who will let him crash on their couches. If worse comes to worse, he will find someone who will take him in for a while. </p><p></p><p>He comes to you because you are the easiest mark, not the only mark. If you say no, he doesn't go out and have nowhere to go. It doesn't wound him mortally if you say he cannot stay with you. Sure, he makes a big deal out of it, but that is only so that you will give him something else and will continue to make his life easy. It pushes that Guilt Button that gives him so many sweet rewards with so little effort. Then he goes to the next mark, er, person and hits them up for a warm place to stay. There is ALWAYS a party when you are a drug user. </p><p></p><p>The reason that being turned away by his parents doesn't wound him mortally is that he is too focused on getting high. Nothing really matters but getting high. Getting money for getting high matters. Sure, being warm matters, but getting high matters a whole lot more. It is hard to understand but it truly is life for an addict. It would be great if you could get your husband to go to a 12 step meeting with you. Alanon is pretty much the same as Naranon, as far as the steps go. </p><p></p><p>Stay strong. It might be wise to ask your son to prove that his car was stolen before you give him much help for being without a car. It is highly likely that he sold it for drugs or drug money and does not want you to know that. It may even be that he sold it for less than the tires you put on it. The car also may have been impounded or taken away because he was driving while high or due to another violation. </p><p></p><p>I have known many parents who had difficult children that claimed a car was "stolen" only later the parents learned that it was impounded or that the child sold it for an absurdly small amount of money for drugs or alcohol. I went to high school with a girl who "sold" her 5 year old fancy sports car (I don't know car models, but this was the envy of our entire high school), for enough money to party for a weekend. She didn't sign any paperwork, and it wasn't in her name. But when her dad reported it stolen and the person was arrested, the cops were NOT happy to discover what really happened. So be careful in believing that his car was "stolen". The word can have more than one meaning.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 726778, member: 1233"] Of course he isn't going to freeze in the cold and end up dead. He has a whole network of druggie friends that he will party with. They will find various places to crash or couch surf until it warms up. Remember when you were SOOOOO WORRIED about him after he got out of the hospital? Where was he? Back at his housing. He may have had to leave because of fireworks, but he has friends (drug buddies) who will let him crash on their couches. If worse comes to worse, he will find someone who will take him in for a while. He comes to you because you are the easiest mark, not the only mark. If you say no, he doesn't go out and have nowhere to go. It doesn't wound him mortally if you say he cannot stay with you. Sure, he makes a big deal out of it, but that is only so that you will give him something else and will continue to make his life easy. It pushes that Guilt Button that gives him so many sweet rewards with so little effort. Then he goes to the next mark, er, person and hits them up for a warm place to stay. There is ALWAYS a party when you are a drug user. The reason that being turned away by his parents doesn't wound him mortally is that he is too focused on getting high. Nothing really matters but getting high. Getting money for getting high matters. Sure, being warm matters, but getting high matters a whole lot more. It is hard to understand but it truly is life for an addict. It would be great if you could get your husband to go to a 12 step meeting with you. Alanon is pretty much the same as Naranon, as far as the steps go. Stay strong. It might be wise to ask your son to prove that his car was stolen before you give him much help for being without a car. It is highly likely that he sold it for drugs or drug money and does not want you to know that. It may even be that he sold it for less than the tires you put on it. The car also may have been impounded or taken away because he was driving while high or due to another violation. I have known many parents who had difficult children that claimed a car was "stolen" only later the parents learned that it was impounded or that the child sold it for an absurdly small amount of money for drugs or alcohol. I went to high school with a girl who "sold" her 5 year old fancy sports car (I don't know car models, but this was the envy of our entire high school), for enough money to party for a weekend. She didn't sign any paperwork, and it wasn't in her name. But when her dad reported it stolen and the person was arrested, the cops were NOT happy to discover what really happened. So be careful in believing that his car was "stolen". The word can have more than one meaning. [/QUOTE]
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