nlj
Well-Known Member
How are you feeling today Annie?
On Worrying
Some of your hurts you have cured
And the sharpest you still have survived
But what torments of grief you endure
From evils which never arrived
Ralph Emerson
Read it Annie, it's true isn't it?
It's us that are suffering, often more than them. Do they lie awake worrying about us? about the effect on us? about how they are making us ill? I don't think so.
I'm so sorry about the tragedy of your friend's daughter and so sorry about your grandchild. I'm glad that this was an open adoption and that your grandchild is well cared for and well loved and that there is the open-ended possibility of you having contact. I would try to focus on yourself, on things that are real, and on things that you have the power to change.
I'm impressed that your son made his way to Hawaii. My son made his way to Scotland recently, filthy, drenched, frozen. I wouldn't have worried about him so much if he was in Hawaii. Sounds like a much better option!
I have found being a mother to be much much harder than being a step-mother, even with my youngest step-daughter who I have brought up as my own since she was a baby. As a step-mother I love them and would do anything for them, but that deep-down all-encompasing anxiety is not there in the same way as it is with my own children. I have felt sometimes over the years that the anxiety I have felt about my son has gone beyond the realms of logic or reason. I have now managed to conquer this to a certain extent. There were so many times that he called me in the depths of despair, with yet another crisis, another drama, and I would be frantic. And then I would get another call from him a few days later and he would be fine, have no real memory of the crisis or drama that had passed, leaving me in a state and him wondering what the fuss was about. I got angry. Angry with him and angry with me for soaking up all this drama, when really it was just him, in the moment, using me as a dumping ground for his current mood. I posted a poem a while ago. I'll repeat it here:
On Worrying
Some of your hurts you have cured
And the sharpest you still have survived
But what torments of grief you endure
From evils which never arrived
Ralph Emerson
Read it Annie, it's true isn't it?
It's us that are suffering, often more than them. Do they lie awake worrying about us? about the effect on us? about how they are making us ill? I don't think so.
I'm so sorry about the tragedy of your friend's daughter and so sorry about your grandchild. I'm glad that this was an open adoption and that your grandchild is well cared for and well loved and that there is the open-ended possibility of you having contact. I would try to focus on yourself, on things that are real, and on things that you have the power to change.
I'm impressed that your son made his way to Hawaii. My son made his way to Scotland recently, filthy, drenched, frozen. I wouldn't have worried about him so much if he was in Hawaii. Sounds like a much better option!
