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Parent Emeritus
Once again he called and I answered...grhhhhh
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 631132" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>You've gotten good advice from the others. If you feel you must answer, be prepared with some responses. If you want we might be able to talk you through some.</p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>For example, if this comes up over and over...maybe instead of engaging you can say something like "I'm sure you can work that out" or "mmmmm" or "I see". What is the point of telling him that can't happen? I"m sure you have said that many times before. Its not like he will accidently get the plates out because you forgot to tell him they are permanent...some doctor will tell him the same...so why be the bearer of bad tidings, or take the hit for disappointing him when some one else or just life circumstance will surely do so? I try to remind myself of that all the time. My mom, bless her soul, wonderful in many ways, could never resist being the person to point out a flaw in the plan,good plans, bad plans, crazy plans. A lot of those plans were NEVER going to happen, she could have just smiled, nodded, or served more hamburgers, but instead she pointed out the flaw and people got annoyed...with HER. Not with themselves, or the plan, but with HER.</p><p></p><p>Its been helpful to me to remember to keep my mouth shut when it is clear that life or some one else will teach the lesson I'm about to teach...at least when it comes to my adult relationships .</p><p></p><p>Good luck to you Annie, this is very very hard. I'm so sorry you are in this position. Keep posting. It helps. We are here.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 631132, member: 17269"] You've gotten good advice from the others. If you feel you must answer, be prepared with some responses. If you want we might be able to talk you through some. For example, if this comes up over and over...maybe instead of engaging you can say something like "I'm sure you can work that out" or "mmmmm" or "I see". What is the point of telling him that can't happen? I"m sure you have said that many times before. Its not like he will accidently get the plates out because you forgot to tell him they are permanent...some doctor will tell him the same...so why be the bearer of bad tidings, or take the hit for disappointing him when some one else or just life circumstance will surely do so? I try to remind myself of that all the time. My mom, bless her soul, wonderful in many ways, could never resist being the person to point out a flaw in the plan,good plans, bad plans, crazy plans. A lot of those plans were NEVER going to happen, she could have just smiled, nodded, or served more hamburgers, but instead she pointed out the flaw and people got annoyed...with HER. Not with themselves, or the plan, but with HER. Its been helpful to me to remember to keep my mouth shut when it is clear that life or some one else will teach the lesson I'm about to teach...at least when it comes to my adult relationships . Good luck to you Annie, this is very very hard. I'm so sorry you are in this position. Keep posting. It helps. We are here. Echo [/QUOTE]
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Once again he called and I answered...grhhhhh
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