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General Parenting
One can never get to cozy, oh boy!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 15385" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>The hair-cutting - I think all my kids did something similar.</p><p></p><p>The mouthing off at a teacher - whenever I hear this I worry, because I've seen too many incidents where the teacher was the trigger, or certainly escalated the problem. Especially with difficult children, I think teachers need to back off a bit more and not try to insist on A1 perfect manners. Because then they're setting themselves up for a fall and being publicly embarrassed, and a teacher can't let that go without losing the respect of the other kids. well, some teachers anyway.</p><p></p><p>I always dig deep when I hear that my child was rude to a staff member. While I've publicly backed up the school, I've usually also gone in and talked to the staff member about how the situation could be avoided in future, because in just about every case, it was the staff member who set off difficult child 3.</p><p></p><p>I've sat in school offices while waiting for an appointment and heard some appalling things said by teachers to students. Occasionally a student would try to defend themselves and end up on detention for 'mouthing off'. In one case this was happening as we were trying to decide what to do about difficult child 1's education. We pulled him out of that school the same morning and the teacher 'telling off' the students was a big factor in my decision. It was symptomatic of the school's treatment of the students in general.</p><p></p><p>An example of a teacher handling this sort of situation well - difficult child 3 was about 6 and doing much better with his speech. He was also doing better with turn-taking, which had also been an issue. The kids were playing a game where they had to take turns, based on how well they could complete the game. difficult child 3 was 'in' and enjoying himself, when he tripped. Instead of the tantrums they used to see, he handed the baton over to the next kid, although he also loudly said, "oh b*gg*r, I lost!"</p><p>Some teachers would have reprimanded the language, but since he was doing everything else right (including being a good sport) the teacher let it slide. Not only had he willingly passed the baton, but he had accepted defeat without a tantrum AND used a complete sentence.</p><p>If she'd punished his language (which in Australian terms is not that strong) it would have undermined everything. </p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 15385, member: 1991"] The hair-cutting - I think all my kids did something similar. The mouthing off at a teacher - whenever I hear this I worry, because I've seen too many incidents where the teacher was the trigger, or certainly escalated the problem. Especially with difficult children, I think teachers need to back off a bit more and not try to insist on A1 perfect manners. Because then they're setting themselves up for a fall and being publicly embarrassed, and a teacher can't let that go without losing the respect of the other kids. well, some teachers anyway. I always dig deep when I hear that my child was rude to a staff member. While I've publicly backed up the school, I've usually also gone in and talked to the staff member about how the situation could be avoided in future, because in just about every case, it was the staff member who set off difficult child 3. I've sat in school offices while waiting for an appointment and heard some appalling things said by teachers to students. Occasionally a student would try to defend themselves and end up on detention for 'mouthing off'. In one case this was happening as we were trying to decide what to do about difficult child 1's education. We pulled him out of that school the same morning and the teacher 'telling off' the students was a big factor in my decision. It was symptomatic of the school's treatment of the students in general. An example of a teacher handling this sort of situation well - difficult child 3 was about 6 and doing much better with his speech. He was also doing better with turn-taking, which had also been an issue. The kids were playing a game where they had to take turns, based on how well they could complete the game. difficult child 3 was 'in' and enjoying himself, when he tripped. Instead of the tantrums they used to see, he handed the baton over to the next kid, although he also loudly said, "oh b*gg*r, I lost!" Some teachers would have reprimanded the language, but since he was doing everything else right (including being a good sport) the teacher let it slide. Not only had he willingly passed the baton, but he had accepted defeat without a tantrum AND used a complete sentence. If she'd punished his language (which in Australian terms is not that strong) it would have undermined everything. Marg [/QUOTE]
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