One Disappointment after Another

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bugsy, Feb 3, 2008.

  1. Bugsy

    Bugsy New Member

    Hoping for some good support and advice.

    Well, my son was stable for about 6/7 months (may-november) for the first time. Then we took a turn for the worse. Possibly due to strattera or other medication trials and on top of that he had SEVERE constipation that took 10 days of laxative, enemas and mineral oil to get some progress started. He is still not regular. I home schooled him for 2 weeks by choice with the full support of his private school. He was so talkative manic, impulsive and could not stop moving that he was just so disruptive. He ended up not in trouble but removed so much that he was learning nothing and taking way too much of the staff's time (I thought). He started back on Tuesday and things went fairly well. We will meet to determine if he will need a shadow for support. He is still not stable but managing better.

    I am grateful that the school and we were able to work well together during this difficult time. Well, yesterday we received our response letter for financial assistance for the up coming year. Last year they were able to reduce the tuition for our 2 children by $6,000 and this year we do not quailfy for any assistance. How can that be??? My husband has earned less money. Between my son and me we have over $12,000 in out of pocket medical expenses. With tuition increase we would have to come up with $8,000 more than last year but meanwhile our total income is far less and how expenses are far more. And that does not include if our son will need a shadow.

    We finally feel comfortable with a school that is right for our child/children and we CANNOT afford it. There is NO more money. It is heart breaking to think one or both will have to be pulled out. We give up EVERYTHING for our kids and it is not good enough.

    Whenever there is a ray of light such as finding the right school there is a wind that blows it out quickly and reminds us you are supposed to struggle, worry, have nothing and be miserable.

    If we can't put the money together our daughter will have to leave the school she loves and her brother gets to stay because of his illness. It is very unfair for her, for us and for him (that he has to be special).

    It seems like it is always one disappointment after another!!!

    Bugsy's mom
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Wow! I can understand the disapointment.

    I would put together a letter asking the same questions that you're asking here. Spell out the amount you've spent in out of pocket and if necessary, offer to send them a spreadsheet of your budget. Offer them copies of w-2's showing husband made less than last year.

    Be firm, but saddened that your daughter will have to leave a wonderful environment, and the guilt that your son will feel could impact his issues.

    Bottom line: throw everything you can at them. Appeal to the businessman, the parent, the husband/father, religious (if this applies), that may be reviewing the application/appeal.

    You're a mom of a difficult child! You've probably accepted every ounce of guit in the world that's been thrown in your direction. Throw it toward the school!

    I'm rooting for you!

  3. Bugsy

    Bugsy New Member

    thanks for the support. we actually did all of the things you said. I even put together a complete chart that shows income, taxes taken out, house payment, cars, medical, therapy, and food. There is nothing left after that. My parents do so much as far as clothing, camp, toys, etc.

    I had spoke to the finacial aid person who said to me prior to reviewing everyone's request "we know you guys and know your situation. we will work it out. we want the kids here."

    Apparently there are needier people than us and there is just not enough money to go around. we are not rich enough and we are not poor enough. They have seen me in tears and know how important the school and (yes it is a relgious school) the religious part is to us.

    I am sick thinking that one or both would need to leave. I cannot imagine our daughter going from a school with the entire 5th grade is 18 children and the school is 130 students to a middle school with 1,800 students.
  4. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Ok, lets think things through. We should be able to figure a way out of this mess.

    Have you talked to your Department of Education? Check out some of the websites for Free Education Advocates, they may be able to help you secure some sort of funding to help finance the school. You'll probably have to supply some sort of proof that the local school couldn't handle working with him, so you should make sure all of your correspondence with the school is easily accessible.

    Since the school itself can't help with the funding, (I don't know what sort of religious school it is), is there a next step in the religion that you can appeal to?

    If our local school can't afford the student aid, we appeal to them and then to the Archdiocese. Is that type of step available?

    Then talk to the local Department of Developmental Disabilities and see if there are any grants that you can apply for.

    I'll check around tomorrow and see if there's anything out there that you can try and apply for.

    I hate to see something that works taken away because of cash (or lack thereof!)

    I gotta win that lottery!!!

    Later kiddo!