I hate to say it but that is so true! I felt guilty at first but I don't anymore. My son is mostly doing better and trying so it's been ok. I just sometimes feel so sad too though. My daughter and I are repairing a messed up relationship where both of us put my son first because of his daily (and nightly) emergencies for years. She just learned about Al Anon and said it was a relief to know there are others like us. Sad because I thought she knew.
We are humans and we deserve a break from this heartbreaking, intensive, constant-drama existence. We NEED it. I'm glad you are able to catch that break now, even though the circumstances are sad. I hope you're able to use this time to take care of your own needs, spend time on hobbies and with healthy family members, and do things that have nothing to do with your son. Take care.