One last appalling post about 35. I will then give you all a rest.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by MidwestMom, Oct 7, 2013.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Sunday he called me up and told me he was going to Urgent Care because his stomach is mush and hurts a lot. I figured he had irritable bowel syndrome and didn't worry about it.

    The next day, 35 calls me up and tells me not to tell his father, my ex, but that he lied to him and told him that he has an ulcer. Ex is allegedly mortified and so sympathetic and now is willing to not only keep paying for his legal bills for the lawsuit he won't win, but is going to pay for psychiatric care. Yes, 35 needs it, but ex would not have offered if not for the ulcer lie. Ex even feels like it is somehow his fault. He is going to drive down to be with 35 a few times before the hearing. He had not planned on this. What am I going to do since I know it's not an ulcer? A big fat nothing.

    Why, you ask.

    1/I have warned ex not to give out so much money to 35 and he never listens, although he grumbles about it a lot.

    2/I am not up for a confrontation and fight with 35 who has uttered threats to me. I really don't think he'd carry t hem out, but does anyone think their kid will carry them out? I'm afraid to intervene.

    3/It's really between him and his father, who I am no longer married to. And 35 is darn lucky I'm not still married to him because I would have a fit if I was married to a guy who is squandering so much of his money to 35, who is not even nice to him unless he wants something.

    On top of all that, ex has enough money and will not starve and 35 desperately needs to see a shrink. Yes, I'm horrible, but that is the way it is. Please don't moralize. It won't help. My mind is made up. Ex should know better than to trust a pathological liar and should ask for proof from the doctor rather than taking 35 on his word.

    I feel terrible for ex. He is 66 and has had a metabolic disorder that is very serious since age 27. He has no adrenal glands or thyroid, is diabetic and weighs maybe 100 lbs. He doesn't need the stress. But it is his decision too.

    I am using de-stress techniques from my mindfulness works and am meditating and working out even harder (I have literally gone from 162 to 117 from April-now. It's nice to be thinner, but part of that is not eating much because of stress and working out double hard because of stress). I guess that's the one silver lining to this plus the fact that I have consistently kept up my ability to enjoy my other kids, my sweet husband, my wonderful dogs, my activities and hobbies.