One month tomorrow...I dread Thursday's now

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by VickiL, Mar 18, 2009.

  1. VickiL

    VickiL New Member

    Well, it will be a month tomorrow since husband passed away. I am still taking it one day at a time. I did go out to a benefit trivia night for a cancer patient last Sat. and had fun and won a $550 gym and weight manangment memebership to the gym I've wanted to go to for over a year now (another sign from husband I do believe:)). It's for 3 months and I won it in the silent auction for $40. I had my hair cut, nails and toes done and bought all new makeup. It felt good, but in a way, it made me miss him even more because we never had the money for me to really splurge on myself like that.

    I start my grief support group on the 31st and can't wait. The evenings are the worst for me because we would spend the first part of them, while he was cooking dinner, talking about how our days went. Now I have Alex, who can't possibly fill in for this one, and the dog, who misses husband even more than I do, I think.

    Anyway, just please say a prayer for me to get through tomorrow okay. The last 3 have been really, really hard. And, St. Pat's day was was the first time in 9 years I didn't walk into my home and smell the heavenly scent of corned beef and cabbage and have a shot of Irish whiskey and a beer waiting for me. He LOVED St. Patrick's day so much...but I made it through with Alex and Hardee's:)

  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Just a hug---cause I know this must be unbearable hard.
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am so sorry. Sending you strength.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and lots of strength.
  5. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    That's good that you are starting with a support group. I can't imagine your grief. Sending much strength and warm hugs.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sending (((hugs))). I'm glad you found a support group.
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Sending you strength to get through the day. -RM
  8. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    You have all my hugs. You must be like a raw nerve yet. How wise to be involved in a support group. I feel for you but I haven't been where you are and hopefully those who have been there can give you some suggestions to get through this.
    In the mean time, I'll keep good thoughts and wish you well.
  9. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    I'm sorry you are hurting and missing your husband so. I'll be thinking of you on Thurs.. The support group sounds like a very good thing, I guess anything that keeps you around other people is good if you are up to it.
  10. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Sending {{{hugs}}}. I'm so sorry.
  11. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    I understand your dread.....I detest the 9th of each month now. I'm 2 going on 3 months into this & have yet to find a grief support group.

    I'm so glad that you have though. That is a healthy step in the right direction.

    Again, please know I understand. I miss having husband here ~ he would sit in the kitchen while I made dinner (or vice versa) & we would just chat about the day; same as you & your husband. I miss someone to bounce ideas off of - to listen to my frustrations. Don't be surprised if you find yourself calling out for your husband about something exciting or if you need him. It takes time for it to sink in that husband is gone. Twice now, I've called out to husband; once for help, the other to tell him that I sighted the first robin of the season. We would keep track of that together.

    Sending many very gentle ((((hugs)))) this morning.
  12. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    If you've got a couple of bucks lying around, buy flowers @ the grocery store/flower shop. I know it's a bit silly, but it really made a difference for Mom and I. Just the simple act of picking out the "prettiest one", then going home and making them look nice in the vase made me feel better. Makes the house smell nice, gives you something beautiful to think about, even when everything else you see (laundry, bills, unmade bed, dinner, oh, everything) makes you just feel tired and down. And it gave me something to look forward to---getting to pick out new ones. Flowers are time-limited, so it's like having a mini-goal to accomplish each week or so.

  13. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I am so sorry! Sending many (((HUGS))) and prayers your way. I think it is wonderful that you have found a support group. I imagine that will help a great deal.

    I agree with you, husband pulled some strings for you to win that bid!!!

    My thoughts are with you. God bless.
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911


    I love that he "does" things for you. We had a similar discussion at Christmas time about the exact same types of things. I find it odd, coincidental and comforting.

    With that said - I can't imagine that he would want you to be sad on Thursday, on the 19th, or on any day. As far as his IRISH whiskey? OMG - you have GOT to make a habit now of going to the gravesite and pouring a shot out for each of you and pouring his into the earth. He'll appreciate it.

    Our oldest son would have been 27 last Sept. He passed when he was 18, but when he turned 21 - there was a bottle sitting on his tombstone and a bunch of shot glasses. =Friends who remembered. A year later? Still there - so the tradition just kept on for a long time. The son that died recently was also 18 - but for his 21st birthday? He's getting balloons. lol.

    Maybe it would help you just to share something with him? Even if it is across a universe and 1/2.

  15. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Hope you are able to get through today -- I can't begin to imagine what it's like. I'm sorry you're going through this.

  16. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Vicki, I've been thinking of you and sending you hugs all day.