One of the worst mistakes or biggest regrets you have (try to keep it light?)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SomewhereOutThere, Apr 2, 2018.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I thought I'd try this and see if it catches on. I didn't say worst mistake because every human makes so many. You can list as many as you like, funny ones are encouraged! Some mistakes are funny!

    1. Hitchhiking with a girl who was legally blind and would not wear her glasses. When the cop car pulled over she excitedly said, "Oh, that was FAST!" (I never hitchiked after that)

    2. Marrying my first husband. This was really a serious mistake as we had probably the most unromantic and unaffectionate marriage (yes, THAT) in the history of mankind.

    3. Not believing I had any worth and acting like I had no worth around others (mostly when married to husband #1)

    4. Leaving my diary out so my brother could read it...lol.

    5. Driving to the airport with a friend, making a wrong turn, possibly going in the wrong direction and finding myself right outside of Cabrini Green, an infamous housing project, with no idea how to get back on the highway.

    6. On another famous drive of mine with same friend who should have known my sense of direction was challenged by then, and ending up in China Town (Chicago) in rush hour traffic (which means you can't move) and, as usual, no idea how I got there or how to get out and trying to shout to others for directions, but nobody spoke English.

    7. Fostering then adopting an 11 year old boy who was truly too damaged to live in a family...you all know the rest. That was the end of that.

    8. Not learning how to curb my ultra-sensitive nature. I still cry at every sad thing, even if it's just a movie. I don't think I will ever be able to conquer this...I have conquered much, but this is very much a part of me and I've tried...I have not been successful. Oh, yeah. I also never conquered my poor sense of direction, even with GPS. Don't even ask!!!!

    9. Loving people who didn't/couldn't love me back. Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!

    10. I deeply regret that in this lifetime I never lived on a farm with animals!!!!!

    Ok, guess I will see now if this is an interesting thread or not ;)
     
  2. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    When I was a kid, the dentists told us to brush the teeth and gums very hard to remove more plaque, have whiter teeth, etc. Now we know that aggressive brushing leads to gum recession. If the recession is bad enough, you have to have a graft, which feels extremely painful when you wake up from surgery, and causes three days of misery. Vigorous brushing is not going to make the teeth whiter, but back then, we thought the opposite was true. I had sores on my gums. They bled all the time. Eventually, I had to have the graft, and it didn't really help the recession.

    I regret believing the myth that soda and chocolate would break out my face. When I was a teenager, my metabolism allowed me to have fries, chips, chocolate, etc. without gaining an ounce. When I was 17, I started getting bad acne, so I gave up those foods for three years. I was told that water helps acne, but it disdid. I was floating away and still had acne. Finally, I went to the dermatologist and he said diet has no affect in acne. It angers me that I denied myself those foods back then. Now that I am 44, I can't have those foods because I no longer have the metabolism of a kid.
     
  3. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Wow...this could be hard for me. I'm very much a "things happen for a reason" kind of person.

    My first thought was marrying my first husband. BUT, if I hadn't, I wouldn't have lost my law firm job and started working for the state and moved to the town I live in now...and I wouldn't have had my son...who difficult as he may have been, I love dearly. AND, if I hadn't had him, I wouldn't have needed to move to an apartment with a yard to play in and thus would never have met my (former) friend T. AND, if I hadn't been friends with T, I would never have been introduced to Jabber who is truly my soul-mate. SO...if I hadn't married my ex, who gave me nothing but mental abuse, a child, and bad credit, I wouldn't now be married to the love of my life. SO - I really can't regret that.

    Next I thought, I shouldn't have missed out on buying a fantastic house back in the day at the lake when I worked for the firm. BUT, If I had bought that house, I would have been saving my money and working on the house, and not been out acting like a drunken fool the night I met the ex. And if I hadn't met the ex...

    Then I thought, "going to law school". I was offered a student teacher position with a living stipend to go to Arizona State for my masters when I graduated college. I gave it up to go to law school. BUT, if I wasn't a lawyer, I wouldn't have had a job at the lake and I wouldn't have been there to act like a drunken fool and meet the ex. And if I hadn't met the ex...

    There are other things...things I did and didn't do that changed the course of my life. But because all of them lead down roads where I would never have met Jabber - I can't regret them, even if I should.

    So...I don't think I have any BIG regrets. I have a few little ones:

    *I wish Jabber and I were better with money. I wish we'd have lived more frugally and spent our extra money (tax refunds and the like) on travel instead of frittering it away with nothing to show for it.

    *I wish we weren't procrastinators...I wish we'd DO the projects we set out for, instead of starting and stopping and never getting done.

    *I wish we'd have been more active people and taken our son to do more active things like hiking and boating and camping.

    *I wish I'd watched my weight and eaten healthier along with the above.

    *I wish I'd spent more time with my parents when I could. I lost them when I was just starting to be an adult and after 30 years without them, I still miss them every day.

    *I wish I'd learned more things from my mom that I want to know now - like canning and crochet and other "lost arts".

    *I regret having lost touch with some of my old friends.
     
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Crayola, I had really sensitive teeth as a child and so I would do anything to get out of brushing! Now I wish I hadn't faked it so much and gotten out of the habit since all my teeth have been root canalled and crowned, and I have an upper partial because I lost all those teeth. I'm just now forcing myself to remember to brush... And that is thanks to Rose and not wanting her to ever have to go through what I have.

    I kind of regret marrying my best friend, way back when. Ruined the friendship and of course the marriage lasted 3 years (not quite 4 if you count the year we were separated). However... I learned a lot of patience I needed for dealing with Belle and Pat and their antics. And Rose and Bill, too, to be honest.

    I wish I could stop comparing myself with others!!! Just because my parents had their stuff together at 45 doesn't mean I have to... And I think they might have put on a good show!
     
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I have a NOT regret to add here, prompted by the memory of some poor Chinese mice. My ex had a snake. I didn't like snakes but whatever. Well, he didn't feed the thing. Or clean its tank. I finally went and bought feeder mice, fed the poor thing, and bolted out of the house. The next morning I called an acquaintance who had a snake rescue (yes really) and they came and got him. Probably made the ex mad but oh well.

    A couple years later I found out that the snake lived out the rest of his life being pampered. YAY!
     
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I regret not telling someone how I felt about him. I was uncharacteristically silent at a time when I was even less tactful than I am now. My life would have been very different. Not necessarily better, or worse, just different.
     
  7. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    I try to live my life as is and not have regrets but that is not always possible. When I look back over my life I reflect more on what can I learn from choices I made that were not the wisest. There were struggles I put myself through that in the end have made me stronger and wiser.

    An easy one for me is I do regret getting a tattoo. It's a simple butterfly on my shoulder and when it was first done it was beautiful, very colorful. Those colors only lasted a few years, now it's just an "outline" of the butterfly. I've had many people tell me to get it recolored. I have no desire to do that, just really wish I never would have gotten it to begin with.

    There was a time that I regretted getting involved with my sons bio-father. It's a real catch 22 because if I had never met him I wouldn't have my son and all the chaos he has brought to my life. Even though my son has not made my life pleasant I couldn't imagine my life without him and if not for my son I would not have my grandchildren. As for my ex, that relationship taught me what NOT to look for in a man and with that knowledge I found my current husband who's an absolute gem!

    I have had a few times when I wish I would have said something to someone and didn't but again, it's another opportunity to learn.
     
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  8. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    SWOT, I love your story of the short foray into hitchhiking!

    Well, I have been looking at this thread since yesterday, to kind of see what type of stories would be posted, and I can tell right now that I won’t be telling the stripper story....
     
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    LOL, Apple. There are few secrets here...lol.

    The hitchhiking story was, after the fact, a running joke. There were four of us hitching, something that scared me, but this time I went along with the more risky option and THIS happened.All of us were scared witless but I'm the only one of the four who never hitched again.

    Tanya, I have many regrets, but like Lil said I also feel I learned from all of them and that OFTEN good came of it. Lil, like you I would not have Bart or Princess or now my grandbaby if I hadn't married hubby #1. He isn't really a horrible man either. He CAN be, but I feel he has some sort of Aspergers that makes him rather clueless so we have stayed friends to a point and I don't regret knowing him, just marrying him. And I wouldn't have met and been able to copy anything at all about my ex's amazing mother. She was worth it all. What a lady. So, you brought up a good point. Anything that started out bad ended up with some g I had a very hard start and now have a wonderful life. I know I talk about my amazing life a lot, but it's truly because if you knew me at my beginning (and I did know me) you would have thought I'd have ended up a disaster and it's been just the opposite since about age 40 and it always keeps getting better and I am always filled with gratitude.

    Even having a mood disorder that was quite horrible at one time made me a much more compassionate person, able to empathize deeply with those who struggle...people that others may not have any compassion for and I like this trait of mine.

    Thanks for everyone's thoughts and please keep them coming!
     
  10. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Just to clarify—it was male stripper, and I really don’t have any regrets....
     
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Haha! You reminded me of something that maybe, in retrospect, I should respect.

    I worked at a hospital and we were voting of what to do for Christmas for our party. I came kind of at the end of the meeting and they needed one more vote to get the Sugar Shack, a male strip club, but I voted against it...lol. So we went to the other option that I can't even remember....boring probably :)

    (I was such a prude and no fun at all!)
     
  12. Tired mama

    Tired mama Active Member

    Having kids lol