One Stressed Momma

I haven't been on this site in quiet some time, Things were manageable... but lately, its been getting worse and worse daily, again.... I don't have many friends or family that actually understand that work that it takes to be the mom of a "difficult child" plus 2. So I turn to you momma's to vent and maybe find a way to de-stress.

brief history, : 5 member family, twin 11 year olds and a 6 year old, twin boy was diagnosed with conduct disorder in 2014, after a year of complete and utter hell, expelled from school at age 9, put into a "special school". We went through various doctors appointments, medications, social workers etc. He was finally put on 1mg of Risperidone 3x a day, and that seemed to work... for a while. I noticed in January 2015 that it was not having the same effect anymore, we were dealing with explosive tantrums again, he was getting kicked out of his after school program, again...he continues arguments for hours, then he feels sorry for himself, and goes on about it for hours, unable to manage with most everyday activities such as chores, school work, and anything fun that wasn't his idea, we returned to his doctor for his normal check ups, we discussed the issues at hand, doctor decided that he would increase the medications to 4x a day, instead of increasing the dosage.? this doesn't make sense to me, but we tried it. its not working, hes still the same, and its slowly creeping back up to daily occurrences. He has a doctors appointment on Wednesday, im hoping there is a better solution, but at the same time, i am terrified, what if it doesn't work?

I am stressed out at work, im terrified that if i continue to leave work im going to get fired. i know most the time what i am walking into when i get home, its never pretty lately, which means im stressed out at home too. Over the last couple years ive lost the ability to relief my stress it seems, i try to do things i enjoy, but honestly most the time i cant concentrate to sew (my favorite hobby) most the time i just want to go to bed and stay there, but i have so much that i have to do to keep my house running, and my kids happy, i guess that could be called over whelmed. huff.

Im not looking for sympathy, im looking for a way that i can deal, im angry, i don't understand why i was dealt this hand. i usually a very calm person, i usually can rationally deal with almost any situation, there is no rationalizing with this kid. ugh

ive already had to leave 5x while writing this, he refuses to make his lunch for school because he feels he doesn't deserve it...
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Hugs.

They don't like to diagnosis mental illness in kids.
Which STINKS, because sometimes, they have it.

he refuses to make his lunch for school because he feels he doesn't deserve it...
That is the voice of depression. Not "I won't" but "I don't deserve".

The medications are NOT working.

He may or may not have the language to explain to the doctor how he's feeling at the moment, much less looking back over weeks or months. One boy I know, the doctor said all his energy was going to just holding himself together - his brain was going insane. Somehow, if you can get the doctor to understand the seriousness, it helps. (no advice on how to do that - we didn't have success until kid was adult)
 

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
First off sending some hugs for your tired heart. We were on the medication merry-go-round for such a long time. It took literally years to find a medication that actually works for my son. In the meantime, life was hard, stressful...

I know it's hard but you somehow have to take care of yourself through all of this. Do you see a therapist? I did while difficult child was at his worst. It helped. I also somehow managed to keep exercising through it all which helped immensely.
 

Rina

Member
Sending some hugs your way. I don't have any concrete advice, but I do agree with InsaneCdn that that statement sounds like depression.
No child wants to be the "bad" child. I am sure he's suffering too. He probably can't understand why this is happening, either. I hope the doctor will be able to find a different way to help. *hugs*
 
Hugs to you my dear. I am just in the beginning of what looks like a long road. I am also trying to hold on to a job while dealing with all of this. If you enjoy sewing maybe you should try joining a club or something just to get you out of the house. :)
 
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